Hello everyone,

I know I haven't posted here in a while, but for those who do remember some of my posts, you must remember how difficult my love life has been throughout the course of my life. I took some advice and let it go, waited for something to come into my life rather than seeking it out there in the ether.

Since my last post, I was alone for quite some time. Not very content with it, but I had learned to adapt. A chance meeting changed all that. I met someone that has struck me down to the core. All the feelings I've ever felt were mere infatuation, and that fact has become entirely transparent in the last two months.

She is the only person in my life who's accepted me for what I am. Not the masks I wear in day to day life, but the person behind all that, the person who shows through when he is left only to his thoughts.

I feel her, not only in the physical, but on that ethereal plane, where mind conquers body. It scares me, because I know deep down that I won't find this again, and if I lose it I will be at a total loss with the world. I don't think I could stand it to be honest.

I know the old sayings about you attract what you are, but at a point you begin to feel helpless, and ask why everything fails you when you need it the most.

We have deep feelings for each other, I don't need to question that much. They are apparent and to a point almost tangible. My reservations are killing me though. I've never been through anything like this. I'm 22 and all I've ever had were flings and one night stands. I'm not used to being connected on a deeper level, a level that escapes words

Every thing seems to be in in the right place, but there is a cornerstone missing in the foundation.

When we make love, she says she doesn't feel connected to me. And I know it's on my end, because some unseen walls barricades it from coming out. I am exhausted from all this, and I don't think it is wise to interpret anything myself, because I feel like any real answer will elude me. I need to hear it from someone else.

I asked two questions, and it is my only request that someone can answer them for me and bring some clarity to my thoughts.

I asked:

What is preventing me from showing these feelings: 34.2.4.5 >12
What do I have to do to make this work: 21.1.5

I need light on this, someone to eradicate the shadows that are swallowing my spirit. Please, help me.

What is preventing me from showing these feelings?
34.2.4.5 > 12

34.2.4.5 changes to 63. Is that what you meant?

Yes, sorry about the error.

What is preventing me from showing these feelings?
34.2.4.5 > 63

Hexagram 34 is about physical action. The lines are auspicious. The lower trigram suggests time, and the top trigram suggests talk. I think you aren't conveying the eloquence and sincerity that you displayed in your presentation. Physical action isn't enough. Time and talk create an atmosphere of connection. If she felt connection outside lovemaking, she would feel connection within it.

See, that's the thing though. She does feel connected outside of it. The way I speak to her, the way we hold each other, the way we kiss, that's all amazing to her, it's just the connection during sex. My mind gets all cloudy and nervous, which is completely beyond me because it's never happened to me before. I can't focus at all.

I don't know why my nerves suddenly decided to kick in with someone I actually care about. That's why these lines are completely confusing to me, because it talks about pathways being unblocked, but no real advice on how to "part the hedges", so to speak.

raceecho said:

I don't know why my nerves suddenly decided to kick in with someone I actually care about.

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The intensity (34) and importance of the experience.

That's why these lines are completely confusing to me, because it talks about pathways being unblocked, but no real advice on how to "part the hedges", so to speak.

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Hedges part through repeated effort. In my opinion hexagram 34, as King Wen used it, refers to the birthing process. The line text by the Duke of Zhou about a goat attempting to break through a hedge (an analogue of birthing) exists for the obvious reason the the hexagram looks like the head of a goat. The hexagram is relevant to your situation because, as a relative told me, giving birth was the most intense sexual experience she ever had. I continue to believe that if you will take more time with your partner and talk instead of just act, she will indeed feel more connected. Further, in time the intensity of the event will decline, and you will feel more comfortable in it. Good luck.

raceecho said:

I don't know why my nerves suddenly decided to kick in with someone I actually care about.

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It could be astrological. Have you ever heard of synastry, or having a reading done of your two charts together? The sexual area is so important in a relationship, so if you could get some clarity on the odd intensity, that would be great.

ginnie said:

It could be astrological. Have you ever heard of synastry, or having a reading done of your two charts together? The sexual area is so important in a relationship, so if you could get some clarity on the odd intensity, that would be great.

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I'm afraid I don't follow. What do you mean by our "charts" exactly? And no, I have not heard of synastry lol. I can tell the potential for amazing sex is there, it's just getting past whatever wall is lying there.

I've actually come to a moment of clarity in the situation. I'm going to see how this goes the next time, except now I won't try to be so conscious of everything. I guess it was the first time I ever thought too much during sex haha. Like I said, this type of chemistry is all new to me and takes getting used to.

I'm interested to understand what you were talking about though. Does it have to do with astrological signs? Cause I am an Aries and she is a Gemini, both born in 1990. Moon signs, I was born under Gemini and she under Libra. Does that have anything to do with what you are inquiring about?

To add, I decided to cast for tonight. I know it's somewhat improper to use the Yi as a fortune teller of sorts, but I had a feeling I might see her tonight and asked anyway.

I asked what type of personal interaction we'd have and got 35 unchanging. I asked how we'd communicate and got 10.1.6

The 47 really doesn't throw me off. The unchanging hex and the lines changing in 10 seem to signify something very positive on the horizon. Let's hope I'm correct lol.

raceecho said:

I'm interested to understand what you were talking about though.

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Synastry is a type of astrological analysis based on superimposing your natal astrological chart and her natal astrological chart. It is a comparison of all planets in the houses and all the aspects that affect relationships, including the Sun sign and the Moon sign, but not limited to these two. Synastry is a branch of astrology, in other words. A skilled astrologer can be highly accurate about the strengths and weaknesses in the relationship between two people, whether it is a romantic relationship or a friendship or business relationship.

See Brad's translation of 34.2 - I think it might be very apt.
www.hermetica.info


I think the key here is 34.2 - you're trying too hard - could you be creating, in your mind, a barrier (to openness), when there really isnt one?

>>What do I have to do to make this work: 21.1.5<<

21.5 - dont let your need for security be the main thing that drives you. Lay all your old ghosts to rest.