Hello,

I'm still troubled by questions with my relationship with my ex and was going back through some of the answers I received within the last 2 wks. Sorry to say I don't have any more clarity in them then I did when I first read them.

To quickly summarize. I was with this man for over 2 years. We have a very deep love and connection on all levels. We had told each other we were the loves of each others lives. But there was always the issue of him being very scared of marriage. He's 40 and has never been married. I wanted it very much...and the few times we argued and broke up in the past it was always about this issue. He was holding back, or still afraid, and I would reluctantly leave b/c I didn't think I could stay in something where I was afraid that it might not go anywhwere. I knew of course that he just wanted me to be patient, but I felt I had given him alot of patience and understanding.

Also, he's a very traditional, alpha-male kind of guy..and stubborn at that. So, the slightest hint at someone telling him what to do or feeling like a decision wasn't 100% his and he would put a wall up.

We broke up 4 months ago and I haven't heard from him since...though my gut tells me we will someday reunite as what we had was so rare and beautiful.

Some of the answers I received from Yi when asking a variation of the questions How do you see things turning out for P and I? or Will P and I ever reunite?

I received these which are giving me trouble:
40.1>54
42.5>27
19.3.4.5>43

If anyone can help that would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
J-

We broke up 4 months ago and I haven't heard from him since...though my gut tells me we will someday reunite as what we had was so rare and beautiful.

Some of the answers I received from Yi when asking a variation of the questions How do you see things turning out for P and I? or Will P and I ever reunite?

I received these which are giving me trouble:
40.1>54
42.5>27
19.3.4.5>43

If anyone can help that would be greatly appreciated.

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you haven't given specific questions so how can these be interpreted...plus haven't you already asked this question here several times before ?

I think you are looking for a certainty that you will never ifnd from the I Ching, you will only find it through commuicating with him.

I or anyone might tell you you will get back together or that you won't but the truth is we don't know. I Ching is not a definitive fortune telling tool.


You've only been consulting a few weeks, thats what you said elsewhere but seem suprised to be confused at the answers. People still get puzzled by Yis answers after 30 years consulting so you may as well settle back and get comfortable and let go the idea that answers you get are really going to settle it one way or the other for you.


Anyway to look at your answers ;


40.1 is a very simple line....there's no error..there's nothing to be corrected. it's okay. i don't know if that means it's okay that you are apart or that its okay things will be resolved. I do have the sense all is just as it should be right now....there is nothing to put right as far as you are concerned. You are operating from a place of integrity...you haven't 'gone wrong' in anyway.

42.5>27 this echoes what i just said. Yi is saying not to fret because you are coming from a truly good place in your heart, Because of this you need have no regret whatever happens. A lovely line to get

19.3.4.5>43 a more compex cast....but the same question. Looks like what you did...made a declaration of your intent (hex 43) what was there looked sweet (19.3)but wasn't going anywhere as you pointed out. Not sure of 19.4 and 19.5 other than i feel again it shows your approach to this is worthy, honest , generous.


So overall you have acted with truth and integrity towards the matter of loving and uniting with a man you wanted to marry ....so you have acted in accordance also with your own highest standards and I feel these answers acknowlege that...You made no mistake in asking for committment here.


Whats he going to do about his own fear of committing....? I feel it really is his problem. I don't feel Yi is saying what he is going to do. hard to believe but what you do is more important here.


Maybe others can see what he's going to do but I certainly can't. Its very sad he has not been in touch simply because you wanted to get married. I do feel sooner or later if he's love with you he will surely call you.....it;'s too hard not to call someone you are in love with ! But thats nothing to do with the casts its just my opinion. If he loves you he is going to keep on coming back.....whatever you said to each other about marriage. If he stays away....it speaks for itself doesn't it ?

If he is alot colder that you thought then let him go...40.1 might refer to that. I do know if he is in love it would be very very hard not to be picking up the phone or something ! You are in the stage of waiting to see what he will do......and its no fun. But I don't think repeated questions are actually going to give you the answer here about what he will do. Maybe he doesn't even know himslef yet but several months is along time to stay away !

Hi Trojan,

Thanks for your replying, and giving such input. I have been here several times about the same subject...and yes, I'm just trying to get confirmation. But the only confirmation that will really suffice will be the one from him. I guess I'm still searching for answering and doubting the answers when I get them. Sorry, I'm sure people like me can be exasperating to you veteraned i Ching'ers

I think whats so confusing about the i Ching is what part of the story it's picking up on and relaying back to you. For instance in 40.1 the line reads:

WIthout blame.
In keeping with the situation, few words are needed. The hindrance is past, deliverance has come. One recuperates in peace and keeps still. This is the right thing to do in times when difficulties have been overcome.

I read this as no one is to blame for where we are now (we were both at fault as I see it) and we won't cast blame on each other. The hindrance (meaning our separation, or what kept us apart) has past and deliverance (the reason for all of this, which I'm thinking means this time apart will be worth it in the end) is here or has started.

Then when it goes to Hex 54:
I take this as meaning he will take me as a wife, and I will gladly go along but it will be under his terms. When HE is ready. This jumped out at me a bit because I know the way with him is to let him be the alpha male and be a bit subservient when It comes to the how and the when of big decisions, like marriage.

Also, with 42.5>27. I asked Will P and I ever reunite (I had asked first, instead of ever, 'in this month' and received 44.3>6 - not good! that is for reuniting in January)

I took 42.5 mean that increase, good fortune, is coming. And with line 3

One is enriched through unfortunate events.
No blame, if you are sincere
And walk in the middle,
And report with a seal to the prince.

That we will both be better for this time apart. I know I've done a lot of soul searching and I wasn't quite patient enough with him. He was making big strides and I didn't honor that enough. If I can sincerely tell him I'm willing to trust in him than we will have - success. On to Hex 27 - if we both feed each other with what we need to feel fulfilled we will have success. For him - my trust and patience, For me - Security and Love.

Am I way off the mark here? I know it's been a while since we've spoken...but I still have this feeling that it will work out in the end.

Thanks again for everything!
J-

Hi Trojan,

Thanks for your replying, and giving such input. I have been here several times about the same subject...and yes, I'm just trying to get confirmation. But the only confirmation that will really suffice will be the one from him. I guess I'm still searching for answering and doubting the answers when I get them. Sorry, I'm sure people like me can be exasperating to you veteraned i Ching'ers

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However experienced people are they still can't step behind your eyes and see the answer as it pertains specifically to you. All answers are very individual. So whatever you are told here its just suggestions

I think whats so confusing about the i Ching is what part of the story it's picking up on and relaying back to you. For instance in 40.1 the line reads:

WIthout blame.
In keeping with the situation, few words are needed. The hindrance is past, deliverance has come. One recuperates in peace and keeps still. This is the right thing to do in times when difficulties have been overcome.

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Hmm that is not what Yi says, its a commentary by someone about what they think Yi says. What Yi says, ie what the actual transaltion from chinese says, is from translation in Hilary's book. simply "no mistake". All the stuff about few words, deliverance arriving recuperating in peace....aren't actually there. What you have here is someones, Wilhelms ideas about what it means, and they can be very misleading. All you need here is 'no mistake...' or without blame'. It will help for you to be clear about the difference between the translation and commentaries on translations. Here you are using Wilhelms commentary....his ideas, they are okay as ideas but don't rely on them they won't always apply, use the translation first. The translation is there above his commentary, try to relate to that first. The words are likepoetry , they can be understood a thousand ways according to your personal situation. Commentaries tend to narrow and distort meaning....and also sometimes illuminate it too of course.

I read this as no one is to blame for where we are now (we were both at fault as I see it) and we won't cast blame on each other. The hindrance (meaning our separation, or what kept us apart) has past and deliverance (the reason for all of this, which I'm thinking means this time apart will be worth it in the end) is here or has started.

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Maybe. It might mean that, I don't know. It could equally mean you are fine without him and there's no need to rectify anything. You have to go by your own feeling.

Then when it goes to Hex 54:
I take this as meaning he will take me as a wife, and I will gladly go along but it will be under his terms. When HE is ready. This jumped out at me a bit because I know the way with him is to let him be the alpha male and be a bit subservient when It comes to the how and the when of big decisions, like marriage.

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I find that too literal and predictive....but you could be right if it jumped out at you. You will gradually learn how Yi answers you in particular.

Also, with 42.5>27. I asked Will P and I ever reunite (I had asked first, instead of ever, 'in this month' and received 44.3>6 - not good! that is for reuniting in January)

I took 42.5 mean that increase, good fortune, is coming. And with line 3

One is enriched through unfortunate events.
No blame, if you are sincere
And walk in the middle,
And report with a seal to the prince.

That we will both be better for this time apart. I know I've done a lot of soul searching and I wasn't quite patient enough with him. He was making big strides and I didn't honor that enough. If I can sincerely tell him I'm willing to trust in him than we will have - success. On to Hex 27 - if we both feed each other with what we need to feel fulfilled we will have success. For him - my trust and patience, For me - Security and Love.

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But you didn't get 42.3 you got 42.5 so I'm not sure why you are talking about 42.3 I don't make too much of the second hexagram with just one line moving and i don't see the 2nd hexagram as only the future.....um but anyway you might be right again. It's just what you see as a desirable outcome and good fortune isn't necessarily how Yi sees it. It can be good fortune to break up hence I can't say increase is coming in the relationship. That narrows the meaning down and might even lead you astray if you get more and more sure he's returning becasue you think that's what the answers say you may lose touch with the reality...which is he isn't calling you isn't it.

Am I way off the mark here? I know it's been a while since we've spoken...but I still have this feeling that it will work out in the end.

Thanks again for everything!
J-

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The truth is I don't know if you are off the mark. In your shoes if I had these answers i would be comforted and feel the potential for reconnection with him is quite possible.....but keep one eye on what's happening out there.


Why don't you have a talk with him ? It would be a pity to build hopes through Yis answers only to find he's with someone else or just isn't coming back ...that is worst case scenario anyway. However I can see why its better to see if he makes a move

You might get to the point where you asked so many questions and are so confused you won't be in a good head space uch: what I'm saying is its not Yis answers that are confusing its that you are trying to find certainty from it where only he can provide that.




But you already knew that didn't you

Good Luck