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Why so difficult?

jiang

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I was asking the I Ching why the relationship with someone is so difficult (formal, no or litle communication)?
I got 28.3.4>29
Thank for bringing some clarity here.
 

Trojina

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I was asking the I Ching why the relationship with someone is so difficult (formal, no or litle communication)?
I got 28.3.4>29
Thank for bringing some clarity here.

A quick impression is that it looks under great strain as if someone does not trust themselves. As if they are afraid that if the drop the formal approach they may come out with stuff they'll regret later. It does look like there's some underlying repeating chasms here...emotional chasms presumably, old wounds ? Looks like someone just about managing to hold it together by being civil ?

I'm not a fan of saying what other's are thinking via Yi. It's hit and miss at best as this cast may be advice for you not to ask for more than civility at this point ?


For clarity of understanding it is generally better to ask of your own best response/attitude to the person.
 

Trojina

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Yeah with this cast in your shoes I definately would not be pushing for more than civility at this point. Looks like treading on thin ice to me. if you get through this tricky phase it could be okay for the future (28.4)
 

jiang

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I followed your advice and ask for the best attitude to this person. I got 62.3.5>45
I'm now reading 62 and this already is making more sense to me. I understand that I have to cross a line in a small way, come across the other person with 'little' actions.
I should appreciate it a lot if you want to look at this cast also. Thank you for taking the time and effort to reply. I value your insight a lot.
 

Trojina

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I followed your advice and ask for the best attitude to this person. I got 62.3.5>45
I'm now reading 62 and this already is making more sense to me. I understand that I have to cross a line in a small way, come across the other person with 'little' actions.
I should appreciate it a lot if you want to look at this cast also. Thank you for taking the time and effort to reply. I value your insight a lot.

It seems to reinforce what the previous cast said doesn't it. This really isn't a time to 'push your luck' or attempt great progress. You need to be paying very careful attention to this person's words or actions because there is something unforeseen in the situation that might catch you out or trip you up.(62.3) With 62 one needs to be scrupulously attentive to detail.....as if details were very important. I wonder with 62.3 if you need to be a bit more wary, a bit less open yourself as there is a bit of a question mark over this persons disposition towards you.

You do best to keep the whole situation within frames of reference you can easily handle (62.5). It may be you are for some reason forced to be in proximity with this person, that they or you have or will have limited options about spending time together.
In the end this may prove a good thing but meantime I think it may be a good idea to gather your defenses (hex 45) to collect yourself, and to watch your back (62.3).

There may be misunderstandings that can get sorted out through being together in more mundane ordinary situations, slowly...


In 62.5 the prince hits a bird in a cave......the bird and he are in a confined space....how can he miss. It can be like this for example with colleagues who naturally don't really get on well but when forced to spend time in the same small office each weekday develop a friendship of a kind. How can they not ?

So in general it looks like you need to stay with the protocol of the situation whilst keeping an eye out for things you don't yet know....and in time a more firm footing for the relationship might develop perhaps.

Of course I'm shooting in the dark as i don't know if this is a romantic liason or work or friendship. It looks like a work connection to me because there seems too much distance between you to be intimate but I don't know.
 

jiang

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It is indeed a workconnextion. We shared offices some time ago. The relation was also cool at that time. Now I'm spacial separated, by a corridor from that person and other teammembers. There is less need for them to keeping a 'kind of a friendship'. I'm hesitating between distrust towareds that person and blaming meself for not giving the relation more attention, to come across. It seems that relying on the text of H62 I have to come across, relying on 62.3 distrust is correct. Still have to look at Gathering.
Thanks!
 

Trojina

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It is indeed a workconnextion. We shared offices some time ago. The relation was also cool at that time. Now I'm spacial separated, by a corridor from that person and other teammembers. There is less need for them to keeping a 'kind of a friendship'. I'm hesitating between distrust towareds that person and blaming meself for not giving the relation more attention, to come across. It seems that relying on the text of H62 I have to come across, relying on 62.3 distrust is correct. Still have to look at Gathering.
Thanks!

I don't think these casts suggest you haven't come across enough....I think if you you tried to come across more it may be a little dangerous. I think overall the way to go is to be reserved, careful, polite, helpful etc etc. Looking at the first cast of 28.3.4>29 I wondered if you had accidentally upset the person or something as it does look like you need to tread quite a fine line...between too much and too little attempt at communication with them.

Then again perhaps if they are (secretly) not being so nice to you (62.3) having a little guarded reserve for the time being will be enough. I think probably eventually you can get on well enough, perhaps at some point you will have to work closer again. That would be the 62.5 time.
 

jiang

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Well I believe that I have come across enough but with this confusing behavour of that person I 'm thinking sometimes I didn't (although I can give examples of ways in wich I came across). Did I upset that person? Perhaps. To complicated to tell here. I think your reading: " I think overall the way to go is to be reserved, careful, polite, helpful etc etc." is the best. And also 'having a little guarded reserve".
This afternoon, working on this cast and discussing it with my partner, I had a real breaktrough. Several recent castings came together in this reading and I had a clear understanding of my behavior in some of my relationships.
I thank you again, Trojan, for your time, effort and good help!
Best regards
 

long yi

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Hexagram 28.3.4 to 29

出生时间:年 性别:女 
起卦时间:2012年01月07日01时02分
起卦农历:辛卯年十二月十四日丑时
神煞:天乙—酉亥 福星—酉 日禄—午 羊刃—巳 驿马—巳 桃花—子 华盖—未
干支:辛卯年 辛丑月 丁卯日 辛丑时
旬空:午未  辰巳  戌亥  辰巳


六神  伏神    震宫:泽风大过(游魂)    坎宫:坎为水(六冲)
         【本 卦】           【变 卦】
青龙       ▅▅ ▅▅ 妻财丁未土     ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母戊子水 世
玄武       ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼丁酉金     ▅▅▅▅▅ 妻财戊戌土  
白虎 子孙庚午火 ▅▅▅▅▅ 父母丁亥水 世○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 官鬼戊申金  
滕蛇       ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼辛酉金  ○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 子孙戊午火 应
勾陈 兄弟庚寅木 ▅▅▅▅▅ 父母辛亥水     ▅▅▅▅▅ 妻财戊辰土  
朱雀       ▅▅ ▅▅ 妻财辛丑土 应   ▅▅ ▅▅ 兄弟戊寅木 

hexagram 28
There is nothing in common. There may be a sexual attraction initially, but there is no foundation for a relationship.
There are two females in this picture. You are not the one.
Two males, two females, two relationships in this composition. There may also be a child. Two change lines are at the door.

hexagram 29
This is a conflict hexagram with 3 pairs of lines. There is no hope to be together.
You have to consider the consequences before you involve yourself.
 

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