I am very confused by this reading. I recently had a huge crisis with my estranged spouse and got feedback that I did not deal with this well. So i asked iChing How could I have done better and got 44.1.2.4 > 37. I read the comments of 44 on the site, but cannot grasp this will.

I have absolutely no idea of how to interpret this. I found the following :
1. if I am blocking someone, I should get rid of old resentment because this attitude will cause me loss.
2.fish symbolize ideas, solution. if I am receptive, I will find the right ideas, solution to this.
4. draw out of my subcounscious (fish for it) the mood of goodwill, kindness to gain the co-operation from people. this will prevent loss.

any comments will be highly appreciated.

"How could I have done better?
44.1.2.4 > 37 "

44 "It is necessary for elements ... mutually dependent to come to meet
one another halfway. But the coming together must be free of ...
ulterior motives, otherwise harm will result."

44.1
Hold back, or as time goes on the problem will only get worse. There may be an issue of dependency involved.

44.2
Fish symbolize a candidate, people I think. If he is your ex, although it is understandable you may still have a connection in some way, even still need each other, eventually it serves no good purpose to sleep with him. Especially if either of you has others in your lives now.

44.4
Some people just really need a partner. Keep this in mind, that what is going on shouldn't get in the way of that happening, or the future will not be fortunate for that person.

37
Family does need to be there for each other.

Umm - I could be wrong of course. Best of luck, really.
-LL

You might consider it a comment on the one who gave you the 'feedback' ?

I'm just wondering who would feel qualified to give you feedback on how you handled a crisis with an ex spouse ? Such a crisis is a very personal thing and the 44.2 made me wonder if someone else's interference here need not be really takeninto account.

44 can be about all kinds of intrusions, including others ideas about how we ought to be.

ETA if you just look at the story the 2 hexagrams make it might be intrusion into (44) your home/inner space/family concerns(37). Could be the other way around too as in family (37) intrudes (44).

Just a possibility, it may not fit. Your answer may be direct it's just I did wonder who would look on at a crisis with your ex and say "hmm now you could have done that better". Your kids maybe ? Other family members ? Seems to me what happens between exes is their affair , often emotionally fraught, and you do the best you can given the emotions you both have

Thank you Trojan and Lavalamp, your comments are both extremely valuable.

I don’t really know how to reply to you accept to say that it makes perfect sense to me and as usual, iChing and you are spot on. I wish I had the ability to understand it this clearly every time. I am grateful for your input.

I am 10 years older than my partner and the one who would look for answers and solutions.

When I dug very deep into myself for the truth, I realised that I really need to do some inner work with regard to Chakra3 issues. I am not sure about alterior motives, but I also cannot say with total honesty there is none from my side – I just don’t know what it is. It is not material. After consideration, I also realised that the “feedback” that came from friends, was not direct. So, to be honest, that too may be my own reptile brain’s kneejerk interpretation of that. In other words, my own kneejerk reaction to old patterns and beliefs about myself not doing well enough.

Neither of us have other people in our lives. We are still married and therefore still family. We have been struggling to get our relationship stable and the boundaries mutually agreed for 8 years. I do believe there are dependency issues – not sure who and need to spend time with this. Our relationship is extremely erratic and unpredictable and currently we live separately and see each other once/twice a week only. I am never sure what to expect from her next. 4 different therapists advised me to get out of this marriage – a kineologist, an astrologer, my therapist, a marriage councellor, because it disempowers me constantly. Her mother is the most powerful, negative, intruding, destructive influence in her life. I decided a month ago to end our relationship and will file for divorce.

I realised that both of us struggle with different aspects of chakra 3 issues. This is going to be really really hard work. For now I need to step back from this or it will get worse over time.