Hello there,

I've always find this forum very helpful and a great place to learn, so I came here looking for insights as always. I'm in tricky situation right now, see.


1) What should I know about myself in regards to S?
Hexagram 23 lines 1 and 6. Who is the one undermining the house? Me or her? Eventually it will pass on it's own (line 6), but at what cost?

2)How should I behave in regards to S?
Hexagram 26 lines 2 and 3. I read it as S has upper hand and you're can't do anything now. Wait for the right time to act? When further asked I also got Hex.13 line 3 - gathering information from careful watching.

3) What should I know about S in regards to me?
Hexagram 52 line 4 - I didn't quite get this one.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

What should I know about myself in regards to S?
23.1.6 > 24

The situation isn't clear to me. Perhaps you want an intimate relationship with S, and she hasn't been open to your approaches. Perhaps the issue of honor comes in because you do not want to be perceived as needy and begging. The Judgments of both 23 and 24 suggest non-action. Allow more time for a relationship to develop. Taking the uneaten fruit of 23.6 as the unfulfilled relationship, the award of a carriage suggests that honorable conduct toward S will eventually be rewarded.

Thanks for the reply pocossin

I did put a really long explanation, but deleted it and I don't have the copy of it, but, long story short, this is about problems with my stepmother whom I have no interest in dealing with, but unfortunately is very adamant on being a pain in my ass. I don't want to resort to less than savory tactics to deal with her, but I'm locked in and can't simply ignore her because it will be seen as inconsiderate of my part from my father.

indigo said:

Thanks for the reply pocossin

I did put a really long explanation, but deleted it and I don't have the copy of it, but, long story short, this is about problems with my stepmother whom I have no interest in dealing with, but unfortunately is very adamant on being a pain in my ass. I don't want to resort to less than savory tactics to deal with her, but I'm locked in and can't simply ignore her because it will be seen as inconsiderate of my part from my father.

Click to expand...

What? Does she want to chat on the phone or invites you over for lunch occasionally?

Was that what you/your kids were pissed off about yours?

Thanks for the reply anyway.

indigo said:

Was that what you/your kids were pissed off about yours?

Click to expand...

Indigo, I have never been in your situation, and I have never put anyone in that situation. No one has ever been betrayed by me, but often I am sure that I do not live up to others' expectations. I think you feel anger and resentment toward your stepmother, and I doubt that she is singlehandedly responsible for disruption in your family life -- if that is what has occurred. At Clarity I have encountered the other side of the coin -- the stepmother who is disrespected and ignored by stepdaughters with whom she desired a friendly relationship.

Hey there, My sympathies, I know how it is...

52.4 perhaps it would help to look at Lise's interpretation:
"Finding oneself starts with the mind. The first step is always insight or inspiration. Nobody manages to stay entirely clean, like a newborn baby, so one is not oneself just like that. Life is on all sides surrounded by Maja, illusion. One of the greatest rewards is when one looks beyond illusion. There one finds one’s strength and one’s truth."

I think basically that a) you can't win this and b) knowing who is right or wrong won't make much difference.

Perhaps part of growing up is accepting when we have to act in ways that are contrary to our core beliefs in order to protect ourselves. Don't change who you are, but find ways to appear as if you are reading out of the same prayer book - if that makes sense?

23.1.6 results in 24 so I see it as you trying to dig deep and strip away everything possible in order to return to a previous state - maybe when things were close with you and your dad.
26.2.3 speak about dealing with set backs and taking responsibility for our decisions.

Hope that you find a way to make it work.

pocossin said:

Indigo, I have never been in your situation, and I have never put anyone in that situation. No one has ever been betrayed by me, but often I am sure that I do not live up to others' expectations. I think you feel anger and resentment toward your stepmother, and I doubt that she is singlehandedly responsible for disruption in your family life -- if that is what has occurred. At Clarity I have encountered the other side of the coin -- the stepmother who is disrespected and ignored by stepdaughters with whom she desired a friendly relationship.

Click to expand...

Isn't it so easy to generalize it seems. What is my situation? Do you know pocossin? Well, I'm sure I could go on forever inferring incorrectly and conjecturing what ifs, but that is not my interest here. Sure, there are many stepmothers who are friendly and have good faith, for them I wish all the best. But there are two sides of this coin as you put it yourself.

And as you are more familiarized with the other side of the coin it seems, so I don't think there can be much I can learn from you from standing here on this side, but thank you for your time either way.

precision grace said:

Hey there, My sympathies, I know how it is...

Click to expand...

Thanks precision grace, it seems like I'm caught between a rock and hard place!

52.4 perhaps it would help to look at Lise's interpretation:
"Finding oneself starts with the mind. The first step is always insight or inspiration. Nobody manages to stay entirely clean, like a newborn baby, so one is not oneself just like that. Life is on all sides surrounded by Maja, illusion. One of the greatest rewards is when one looks beyond illusion. There one finds one’s strength and one’s truth."

I think basically that a) you can't win this and b) knowing who is right or wrong won't make much difference.

Click to expand...

I guess I'm caught in this too. I can't stomach the way she acted so underhanded and got away with it while I was upfront about it and ended up being put into a deadlock. I readily took responsibility and she used this against me. At the end of the day, I will have to deal with all the responsibilities of making a decision which doesn't concern me only.

Perhaps part of growing up is accepting when we have to act in ways that are contrary to our core beliefs in order to protect ourselves. Don't change who you are, but find ways to appear as if you are reading out of the same prayer book - if that makes sense?

Click to expand...

It makes perfect sense! That's life. But I childishly am I'm so resistant about. I think that if I go back to treating S nicely like I did before (before I caught her bad mouthing me) then I would be fake and would be betraying my values, but the whole point is there is no way I can stick to my beliefs when this is literally a question of survival for me. Plus, she continues to behave deceptively and I don't want to have to resort to voice recording her speaking ill of me behind my father and my back, just to prove that I was telling the truth.

If I protect myself = ruthless
If I don't = gonna be eaten alive by S's ruthlessness.

Hilariously enough I feel like I'm doing the chick flick version of Hamlet

23.1.6 results in 24 so I see it as you trying to dig deep and strip away everything possible in order to return to a previous state - maybe when things were close with you and your dad.
26.2.3 speak about dealing with set backs and taking responsibility for our decisions.

Hope that you find a way to make it work.

Click to expand...

I hope so to. Thank you.

sometimes being ruthless is the kindest thing we can do to ourselves and others. If you have a way to record her bad mouthing you I'd say go ahead. You needn't ever use it or show anyone, but it may make you feel better in yourself.