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Trying to cope, please help..

stadt

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I'll try not to write too many things although this post is about several readings and the general gist of a situation.

A few months back I had to deal with a separation, as painful as it was I decided I had to pick up the pieces and move on - I didn't have any say in the matter, anyway, so, there was nothing I could do.

At the time (3 months back) I received hex. 38.1.3.4.5>57, regarding this situation. I just asked for a general outlook: so far I've seen lines 1 and 3, I'm still looking out for the other two, but no luck.

For sometime I was handling the situation just fine, going my way, trying not to think too much and letting things roll. It seems however my subconscious cries for closure or smth and the past few days have been full of nightmares, I'm in a downward spiral all of a sudden and I can't seem to understand why since I've been just fine for 3 months. It's probably some stage of grief that I haven't completed yet and truth is I'm less than willing to linger in this for much longer. I feel miserable.

I did a series of readings, trying to figure it out and find a remedy at the same time:

How can I bring about closure: 46.2>15

What will make me feel better: 56 (this is probably suggesting I should travel, which has been on my mind)

Is there anything on X's part I should know: 50.1.3>38

Is there any chance of communication at this point: 2.2>7

Is there fertile ground for a talk/reconciliation: 36 unchanging (I'll take this as a no)

Sorry to overwhelm you people with all these hexagrams, but I was trying to figure out different aspects all at once, I really need to stop myself from sinking further. My understanding is that there's nothing I can do other than adaptation to the demands of the time, be receptive and hide my light (and perhaps travel). Hex. 2.2 is really bothering me in terms of interpretation and 46.2 as well.

Any further thoughts on this are more than welcome, I really need insight at this point.
 

newlife123

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I can appreciate what you are going through since I have been there and know how excruciating it is.
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The best moments of passion, hope, and intimacy will always remain as memories whose lingering loss will only be frustrating and saddening. Though distance and time can heal the wounds, so too do they obstruct all that was originally attracting, thus obviating any second chances.
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May you have a better understanding of what you want or atleast do not want and may you meet someone you will love more.
 

rodaki

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From what I can glean from your answers stadt, you and your ex have radically different points of view about what happened between you . . 57 takes time to grow, to comprehend, to evolve through obstacles; it's a mild, almost imperceptible, progress at times .. Your 50>38 question is one I often use too, but it takes a clear, insider's knowledge of what is going on to figure out clearly - from where I'm seeing this, it seems to say that your ex has taken on new endeavors which, although not perfect, have produced positive results and that he can't be approached cause he is focusing elsewhere . . 56, yes, it will make you feel better to embark on a journey, to get in touch with totally new situations, but do so tentatively, respecting yours, and others' processes. 2.2 should show you that if a chance arises, it will be clear as day - or, it could mean that you should be able to judge an opportunity as such, because you can see in the distance the shapes that further communication can take at the moment. 36 is a clear reading, imo, that shows you've been hurt and it's wiser to lay low instead of scratching the wounds.

46.2 as to what you can do to bring closure . . that's the toughest of the bunch, for me. I think it could mean that you can afford to push through the steps (of closure) because it agrees with your nature . . take that with a grain of salt though . .


Sending you wishes for happier times
 
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newlife123

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Well as shallow as it sounds, the best thing for closure is probably getting into a better relationship even though this will kill the oppurtunity for self-growth and may cause you to become always co-dependant. But then again, which is more important self-groth or peace of mind? Me, I have had enough self-growth.
 
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mirian

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What will make me feel better: 56 (this is probably suggesting I should travel, which has been on my mind)

Dear stadt,

I just want to add a bit about this question. Based on my personal experience Hex 56 is a great hexagram for change and give your life a new sense of direction. No strings attached, no chains upon your feet, you can take yourself and your life to new places - literally or not. I think that this is what the Yi is telling you - Embrace Hex 56, let yourself free.

Hope that helps:bows:
 

stadt

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From what I can glean from your answers stadt, you and your ex have radically different points of view about what happened between you . . 57 takes time to grow, to comprehend, to evolve through obstacles; it's a mild, almost imperceptible, progress at times .. Your 50>38 question is one I often use too, but it takes a clear, insider's knowledge of what is going on to figure out clearly - from where I'm seeing this, it seems to say that your ex has taken on new endeavors which, although not perfect, have produced positive results and that he can't be approached cause he is focusing elsewhere . . 56, yes, it will make you feel better to embark on a journey, to get in touch with totally new situations, but do so tentatively, respecting yours, and others' processes. 2.2 should show you that if a chance arises, it will be clear as day - or, it could mean that you should be able to judge an opportunity as such, because you can see in the distance the shapes that further communication can take at the moment. 36 is a clear reading, imo, that shows you've been hurt and it's wiser to lay low instead of scratching the wounds.

46.2 as to what you can do to bring closure . . that's the toughest of the bunch, for me. I think it could mean that you can afford to push through the steps (of closure) because it agrees with your nature . . take that with a grain of salt though . .


Sending you wishes for happier times

Dear stadt,

I just want to add a bit about this question. Based on my personal experience Hex 56 is a great hexagram for change and give your life a new sense of direction. No strings attached, no chains upon your feet, you can take yourself and your life to new places - literally or not. I think that this is what the Yi is telling you - Embrace Hex 56, let yourself free.

Hope that helps:bows:

Thank you both very much, for your insight on the hexagrams, it really means a lot right now. It is true that we were, at the time, seeing things from a completely different point of view.
I'm not sure about the 50.1.3 interpretation - oh the irony, I've heard news from him today through a friend and he's not doing all that well nor is he over the relationship.

I have to say that the break-up was very sudden and completely out of the blue. My whole world crumbled at that point (I also received hex. 51 at the time, to be precise) and this is probably why I felt the urge to quickly move on, which is backfiring right now, since I need to go back and finish with the grief. I've always had the feeling that it wasn't a well pondered decision, it was abrupt and I never got the chance to talk about my own feelings or thoughts on this. He completely cut off and disappeared, no ties, no common friends. Nor was I ever given any kind of valid explanation other than obvious excuses. This is why I have this strong feeling that I need closure in order to move on.

Having said that, newlife123, I appreciate and understand your advice, though I don't think I can go through with it. I've never been able to cope with situations that have not been brought to a conclusion by forming a new relationship. As a matter of fact, whenever I tried it, the past came back to haunt me pretty soon.

This is also the reason that 56 the way mirian describes it eludes my mind. I strongly feel that the circle is not complete yet and it's very hard for me to even try and bring about something new - whatever that may be. Of course I've been working on myself and the rest of the aspects in my life, but I feel really stuck with this one.
 
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bradford

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Sorry to overwhelm you people with all these hexagrams, but I was trying to figure out different aspects all at once, I really need to stop myself from sinking further.

What you are doing is overwhelming yourself instead of looking deeply into one question at a time.
This is not the way to approach the Yijing.
Craft a really good question and go slowly and patiently, using several sources, until you get it.
Broad, quick and shallow is just going to leave you more confused.
 

rodaki

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Thank you both very much, for your insight on the hexagrams, it really means a lot right now. It is true that we were, at the time, seeing things from a completely different point of view.
I'm not sure about the 50.1.3 interpretation - oh the irony, I've heard news from him today through a friend and he's not doing all that well nor is he over the relationship.

hi again :)

see, the thing is, I'm not sure for ANY of the interpretations I post, most of the times (that's why I fill my posts with 'imo', 'perhaps', 'maybe's' and all such expressions). I think that that is the nature of the beast when it comes to offering interpretations in a context such as this . . I don't think it's much of a problem though, as long as both parts acknowledge the circumstances - giving an unfit interpr. can, often, be as illuminating as a fitting one, in the sense that they both help to clear the air and make your own voice more distinct ;)

In large part I also agree with what Bradford wrote . . it's good to be able to focus on one question and stay with the answer till it lights up all the landscape and gives you true insight. Yet, I say so while knowing from experience, that it is often the hardest thing to do when our minds can't stop turning to myriads directions at once - sometimes, I think, it's good to let the monkey do some jumps and runs around, get tired, so then we can turn back to getting grounded . . it's all good as long as we don't become too hung up on it, imho
 

stadt

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You're both probably right :)

I don't usually go off just asking questions one after the other and in this instance I felt these were very important ones that's why I went ahead - leaving some space in between the questions. Perhaps it was wrong, I don't know what to tell you, time will tell.

:bows:
 
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mirian

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Thank you both very much, for your insight on the hexagrams, it really means a lot right now. It is true that we were, at the time, seeing things from a completely different point of view.
I'm not sure about the 50.1.3 interpretation - oh the irony, I've heard news from him today through a friend and he's not doing all that well nor is he over the relationship.

This is also the reason that 56 the way mirian describes it eludes my mind. I strongly feel that the circle is not complete yet and it's very hard for me to even try and bring about something new - whatever that may be. Of course I've been working on myself and the rest of the aspects in my life, but I feel really stuck with this one.

Dear stadt,

I understand how you feel. You see, it is easy for me to interpret Hex 56 the way I have done because I am looking back on my experience and how things have panned out. With hindsight everything is easy, isn't it?;) I am not saying that my interpretation is 100% correct in your case, I could never say such a thing. The point that I am trying to make is that as far readings are concerned you have to keep an open mind because sometimes the Yi is telling you things that you cannot see at the moment or even don't agree with. By looking into your posts and your readings I can see that they are are carrying important messages to you, but it is a lot to take in at once. So, yes you need to take your time.:bows:
 

stadt

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Dear stadt,

I understand how you feel. You see, it is easy for me to interpret Hex 56 the way I have done because I am looking back on my experience and how things have panned out. With hindsight everything is easy, isn't it?;) I am not saying that my interpretation is 100% correct in your case, I could never say such a thing. The point that I am trying to make is that as far readings are concerned you have to keep an open mind because sometimes the Yi is telling you things that you cannot see at the moment or even don't agree with. By looking into your posts and your readings I can see that they are are carrying important messages to you, but it is a lot to take in at once. So, yes you need to take your time.:bows:

Don't get me wrong, I'm seriously considering what you wrote, it is not clear to me, however, how I will be able to do this. It's more of a "trying to find the way" situation rather than "I wanna stay put" ;)

Sometimes even a key word someone mentions is enough to ring some bells, so your insight is surely a very positive thing.
 

newlife123

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Like i said in my first reply, it's all about time. What choice do you really have in this matter and what kind of power do you have to create closure?
 

stadt

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Like i said in my first reply, it's all about time. What choice do you really have in this matter and what kind of power do you have to create closure?

I think the only thing I can do is write the things I feel are left unsaid on my side. It's the only way I can think of that will ensure a dignified exit. I know for a fact that any effort to meet him is not gonna work.
 

Trojina

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The idea with 56 unchanging is often that you need to understand the situation is temporary that's all. I have certainly known it to mean that over difficult situations.....they pass. I've known 56uc to show up for transient illnesses and transient noisy dogs ! I remember being worried over a noisy dog next door, wondering if I should complain. Got 56 uc and it turned out the dog was the traveller not me and similar with virus. For you....to feel better ? Just know whatever you are going through right now it's temporary
 
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