Oh for goodness sake, we have so little in common, yet we have been close for two years. He and I come from very different parts of the forest, have such different life experiences we can barely get thru a conversation any more -- now that the thrill is gone.

He has job stress, I have a sense of my life going down the tubes with this obsessive relationship. He misunderstands me, I misunderstand him. We are far too civilized to explode, but I feel like blowing it up. Maybe I just did while telling him ever-so-politely that he hurt my feelings. And he accusing me of "drama," which I don't think it was. So I walked out his door.

I came home and asked the IChing, Did It Just End? And got 58.5.6 changing to 38.

I have often wished I had the strength to just end it. And then we have these excellent days when we have fun and get along very well. But I'm spending much too much time thinking about him. I need to disengage. My version calls 38 Estrangement. Permanent estrangement? Or? He can sort of track along with the relationship because he's just not as involved as I am. Or he has lower expectations of it. Probably both. How embarrassing.

I am actually sick of myself and how I'm obsessing about this. Does anyone see a permanent end here? I am not thinking clearly about this.

I don't think you are getting a definate prediction here......as it will end if you choose....or don't choose but the 58.5 looks like being faithful or true to something that really is indermining you is actually something you need to stop. It may be hard to stop as in 58.6 one gets pulled back in.


The 38 makes it appear you both see the relationship in different ways that are quite hard to reconcile. it almost looks like this could be quite a good fun relationship if it were quite superficial...but as something that you give your loyalty or your heart to...then it is not serving you well. 58.5 says basically don't give your integrity to things that actually debase it.

did it end ? I don't know but it looks like it's better to be less intimate. 58.6 can refer to the pull of lust...perhaps that is a factor that sucks you back in.

Swimming back to the surface

trojan said:

I don't think you are getting a definate prediction here......as it will end if you choose....or don't choose but the 58.5 looks like being faithful or true to something that really is indermining you is actually something you need to stop. It may be hard to stop as in 58.6 one gets pulled back in..

Click to expand...

Thanks, trojan. In a way I'm happy to hear that this doesn't seem definitive. But this relationship has begun to undermine my self-esteem. Who AM I to be so hung up on this guy? Stopping seems like the only way to go, because I'm still too emotionally involved to turn around and crisply say (and mean) "OK, now we're just friends," and carry on as though that were true. But even friends can hurt each other's feelings -- and talk about it. I think. Or maybe, in the indecipherable language called Male, the definition of "friends" means no feelings, no discussions about them.

trojan said:

38 makes it appear you both see the relationship in different ways that are quite hard to reconcile. it almost looks like this could be quite a good fun relationship if it were quite superficial...but as something that you give your loyalty or your heart to...then it is not serving you well.

Click to expand...

We were once lovers and it was exciting and fun. Now we're trying to be friends and it's more difficult for me than for him. Tho we do succeed some days to just have fun, "quite superficial" seems an unreal goal.

trojan said:

did it end ? I don't know but it looks like it's better to be less intimate. 58.6 can refer to the pull of lust...perhaps that is a factor that sucks you back in.

Click to expand...

Ah. lust. Yes, there's still a tide that drags me under, but then, I'm a strong swimmer. The idea of drowning in an uncomfortable relationship for any reason seems more ridiculous as I think about it and talk it over with I Ching and with you.

Thanks for the amazing insights : ).