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My ex wife
- Thread starter marcio
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Well, I would say that you have to get over her. That you are not confortable with this situation of not being able to stop thinking about her (line 3), but you will get over her (line 6).
And you will be fine (31).
You may even fall in love with someone... Nice idea, no?
In the mean time, focus on loving yourself. You CAN be happy independently of whoever. Can you do that?
And you will be fine (31).
You may even fall in love with someone... Nice idea, no?
In the mean time, focus on loving yourself. You CAN be happy independently of whoever. Can you do that?
Hi deusa, and thanks for your reply. I was afraid I would have to hear that, as it is a confirmation of what my rational side has been telling me for quite some time. However, this vision is tinged with feelings, memories and other things when you are emotionally involved in the situation and there is where conflict issues. Yours is a very simplistic way of seeing the situation, I guess due to the simplistic way I exposed it and to your point of view as an observer, but hey... maybe the answer to what seems to be a very complicated problem is the simplest one.
Anyway, to expand a bit on my situation, I would like to add that I would be over her by now if it wasn't for the fact that we have two beautiful children and I am forced to see her often. You are right when you say that I will HAVE to get over her, but it seems that HAVING to do something against your will sometimes just triggers an opposite reaction against the very thing you HAVE to achieve. Can you see the conflict more clearly?
Another thing that worries me a lot is that 4 years is too long to get over someone. I mean, people I know just move on when facing similar situations, whereas I seem to be stuck in this situation without finding a way out and which seems that will last forever. Maybe the next question I should ask the I is how do I get over her?
I much appreciate your interest and help.
Thanks again.
Anyway, to expand a bit on my situation, I would like to add that I would be over her by now if it wasn't for the fact that we have two beautiful children and I am forced to see her often. You are right when you say that I will HAVE to get over her, but it seems that HAVING to do something against your will sometimes just triggers an opposite reaction against the very thing you HAVE to achieve. Can you see the conflict more clearly?
Another thing that worries me a lot is that 4 years is too long to get over someone. I mean, people I know just move on when facing similar situations, whereas I seem to be stuck in this situation without finding a way out and which seems that will last forever. Maybe the next question I should ask the I is how do I get over her?
I much appreciate your interest and help.
Thanks again.
M
mirian
Guest
Dear marcio,
What I miss in your post in the exact question that you have asked the Yi. Because 12.3.6 as interpreted in isolation represents the point in which the stagnation comes to an end. If you are stuck things start moving, if you plans/aspirations are blocked they become possible to materialize/achieve, etc... So, you could interpreted this in different ways depending on the question, you see. In principle, I would say that your luck is about to change, but how? What have you asked?
:bows:
What I miss in your post in the exact question that you have asked the Yi. Because 12.3.6 as interpreted in isolation represents the point in which the stagnation comes to an end. If you are stuck things start moving, if you plans/aspirations are blocked they become possible to materialize/achieve, etc... So, you could interpreted this in different ways depending on the question, you see. In principle, I would say that your luck is about to change, but how? What have you asked?
:bows:
Hi Miriam
To be honest, I didn't ask anything in particular. I just wanted to tell the I how I felt to get some insight. I do that sometimes, especially when my emotional crisis reaches a point so low that I can't see clearly and which stops me from living my day-to-day. I guess that deep inside I wanted to know whether there is something I can do to recover my family or if I should just accept that it is over. The latter has proven to be the hardest challenge I have had to face in my life (it's 4 years since we broke up), to the point where I am starting to wonder if I am obsessed with the idea. I also thought the I was telling me that my luck was about to change, but in which sense? Does that mean that I am about to fall in love with somebody new or maybe there is still a chance that we might forgive each other and restart a new life together? After all hex. 31 applies to either, does it not? Anyway, the latter sounds a bit like obsession or wishful thinking to me, but that is my dearest desire right now.
Thanks very much for your time btw.
Peace
To be honest, I didn't ask anything in particular. I just wanted to tell the I how I felt to get some insight. I do that sometimes, especially when my emotional crisis reaches a point so low that I can't see clearly and which stops me from living my day-to-day. I guess that deep inside I wanted to know whether there is something I can do to recover my family or if I should just accept that it is over. The latter has proven to be the hardest challenge I have had to face in my life (it's 4 years since we broke up), to the point where I am starting to wonder if I am obsessed with the idea. I also thought the I was telling me that my luck was about to change, but in which sense? Does that mean that I am about to fall in love with somebody new or maybe there is still a chance that we might forgive each other and restart a new life together? After all hex. 31 applies to either, does it not? Anyway, the latter sounds a bit like obsession or wishful thinking to me, but that is my dearest desire right now.
Thanks very much for your time btw.
Peace
precision grace
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Hi marcio - have you read lise's commentary for the 12.3.6 lines? http://www.yijing.nl/i_ching/index.html
I believe your reading was talking about a situation of standstill that has come about for reasons of non compatibility and you are taking some time to understand this because of the attraction you feel for the situation/person.
12.3 changes to 33 (retreat) and 12.6 to 45 (group issues) so I think that either you feel excluded from your "group" i.e. family or you think that the important member (i.e. your ex wife) is not in the group which is causing lack of progress. 31 is about influences of affection but even there, lise talks about having to severely evaluate whether those things that seem so attractive on the surface actually bring real value into our lives.
So perhaps you are stuck because you just cannot accept that you and your wife are not good for eachother because perhaps on the surface on things it would appear differently?
I believe your reading was talking about a situation of standstill that has come about for reasons of non compatibility and you are taking some time to understand this because of the attraction you feel for the situation/person.
12.3 changes to 33 (retreat) and 12.6 to 45 (group issues) so I think that either you feel excluded from your "group" i.e. family or you think that the important member (i.e. your ex wife) is not in the group which is causing lack of progress. 31 is about influences of affection but even there, lise talks about having to severely evaluate whether those things that seem so attractive on the surface actually bring real value into our lives.
So perhaps you are stuck because you just cannot accept that you and your wife are not good for eachother because perhaps on the surface on things it would appear differently?
I don't understand 12 as standstill but as moving further apart; just the opposite from attraction and union of the same two primal forces, demonstrated in 11. Heaven's direction is upward (skyward), earth's gravity is downward. Once the uniting is completed, separation naturally follows. Reuniting doesn't happen by itself. Bringing an end to the direction of separation requires magnetism, demonstrated in h45. In 45, you must be prepared to deal with the undesirable, as well as welcoming what furthers all.
Macio
You have no ideia how i FEEL what you write!
I also got a 12 unchanged when I asked what would be the best action towards my ex.
It is allmso confusing, so many years together, so much intimacy and sharing and at the same time so many issues that were not addressed and so many painful words and deeds...
I don't even know if I would be ABLE to forgive.
And, at the same time, there are the kids and how nice it would be to be all together, and the feelings of guilt for the ruptured IDEA of the family and the sadness because this was not what I thought my life would be, i thought our family was so strong, so unbreakable...
You have no ideia how i FEEL what you write!
I also got a 12 unchanged when I asked what would be the best action towards my ex.
It is allmso confusing, so many years together, so much intimacy and sharing and at the same time so many issues that were not addressed and so many painful words and deeds...
I don't even know if I would be ABLE to forgive.
And, at the same time, there are the kids and how nice it would be to be all together, and the feelings of guilt for the ruptured IDEA of the family and the sadness because this was not what I thought my life would be, i thought our family was so strong, so unbreakable...
M
mirian
Guest
Dear marcio,
As you didn't ask a specific question I agree with others here in a sense that the Y is addressing the situation as it is and possible reasons why the situation has come to this point.
However, what I have experienced with Hex 12 line 6 is that things do not just change by themselves (as in other hexagrams and/or lines in which the change happens regardless of our own actions).
In 12.6 we do need to do something about it to make it happen, to bring to an end the situation that we are stuck in. I am not saying that you have to work hard
What I am saying is that your attitude, frame of mind, different approach, change of tactics, whatever, is what makes the difference. So, as you don't have a question I cannot tell you what it is that you have to do, or even if there is any chance at all of you two getting back together (apart from your own wishful thinking).Take care :bows:
steve
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Hey
You are stuck, line 3 mentally like a sadness or a neglect in yourself in hexagram 12 the 6th line says you can be free if you choose
31 not so sure but I see the hexagram as being a positive or a negative influence, are you picking up too many bad vibes?
Steve
You are stuck, line 3 mentally like a sadness or a neglect in yourself in hexagram 12 the 6th line says you can be free if you choose
31 not so sure but I see the hexagram as being a positive or a negative influence, are you picking up too many bad vibes?
Steve
WOW!
When I started this thread a few days ago, I honestly wasn't expecting this... I mean so much interest from so many different people. Thank you so much, all of you! Well where do I start?
Precision Grace: Thanks for the link. It's a very interesting site. As for Lise's oppinion, although I've been using the Iching for some time now, I am not at all familiar with this kind of reading. I'll defenetily read more about it, as it seems to offer a much more detailed insight. You are right on when you say that I feel excluded from my family (and somehow from the world) and that it's been reallly hard for me to accept our incompatibility after so many years sharing our lives.
Meng: Your comment on hex 45 is also spot on. In my situation it means I have to bite the bullet and do what is good for everyone concerned, especially the children, despite my feelings.
Deusa: I have read your thread and got the feeling that our situation were very similar. I hope this makes you feel you are not alone, just like it made me feel. I wish you all the best. Thank you so much!
Miriam: In my current situation, just changing my frame of mind itself has proven to be very hard work already. I also believe that a proper reading starts with a clear question: the clearer the question the clearer the answer, right? Maybe I was unconsciously asking what the underlying cause of all my problems is? Anyway, supposing that I had asked if there is a chance of our getting back together and got this same reading, what would you make of it? (apart from my wishful thinking?) Also what does it mean to bring the situation I am stuck in to an end? Getting over her and moving on or keep hopping that I can recover my family and working really hard to achieve it?
Thank you all again, and may you all be blessed.
When I started this thread a few days ago, I honestly wasn't expecting this... I mean so much interest from so many different people. Thank you so much, all of you! Well where do I start?
Precision Grace: Thanks for the link. It's a very interesting site. As for Lise's oppinion, although I've been using the Iching for some time now, I am not at all familiar with this kind of reading. I'll defenetily read more about it, as it seems to offer a much more detailed insight. You are right on when you say that I feel excluded from my family (and somehow from the world) and that it's been reallly hard for me to accept our incompatibility after so many years sharing our lives.
Meng: Your comment on hex 45 is also spot on. In my situation it means I have to bite the bullet and do what is good for everyone concerned, especially the children, despite my feelings.
Deusa: I have read your thread and got the feeling that our situation were very similar. I hope this makes you feel you are not alone, just like it made me feel. I wish you all the best. Thank you so much!
Miriam: In my current situation, just changing my frame of mind itself has proven to be very hard work already. I also believe that a proper reading starts with a clear question: the clearer the question the clearer the answer, right? Maybe I was unconsciously asking what the underlying cause of all my problems is? Anyway, supposing that I had asked if there is a chance of our getting back together and got this same reading, what would you make of it? (apart from my wishful thinking?) Also what does it mean to bring the situation I am stuck in to an end? Getting over her and moving on or keep hopping that I can recover my family and working really hard to achieve it?
Thank you all again, and may you all be blessed.
I'm glad you found it useful, however I'd like to be clear that there was no should or shouldn't, no judgement on my part regarding your obligations concerning 45, only that should you decide to let him wash back into your lake, for the good of all, you must also prepare to deal with the less-than-desirable elements too. That's your call. You are in control of your participation in a relational revolution, or else to close the lake's gates/dikes/dams, which may also be best for all. But that's for you to determine.
M
mirian
Guest
Dear marcio,
I can only interpret your reading as I would do for myself if I had your hexagrams/lines and based on my own experience. In answer to your question, I would say that the Yi is telling me to move on. In my view, the reading is indicating a situation that is stagnant and stale, I cannot honestly see in your reading indications that the Yi is suggesting re-construction, reunion, working on getting you back together. I might be totally wrong (and I would be glad to be, in this case) but I think that you somehow has to bring yourself out of this.
Please take care:bows: