I am struggling through my husband's infidelity which I discovered last December 2012. He had been having an affair with a younger woman for over a year and has consistently lied to me about it, until I saw his intimate text message to her myself. My husband said he has broken it off immediately and has apologized and made amends to me and our seven year old son. After much soul-searching, I have decided to give him another chance, but I have trouble trusting him and I have my good days and bad days when I just feel so angry and hurt for the unfairness of it all.

I am new to the i ching and would really appreciate your insights. I asked two questions: "should I end my marriage" and "how can I move on and not be angry all the time" and I got the same reading: Returning to Shock (24.4 > 51).

Please help me make sense of this guidance. Will appreciate any comment. Thank you.

What a tough situation to be in. No wonder you're struggling to make sense of things. I hope the following can help a little.

Wilhelm says about this line:

Six in the fourth place means:
Walking in the midst of others,
One returns alone.

A man is in a society composed of inferior people, but is connected spiritually
with a strong and good friend, and this makes him turn back alone.
Although nothing is said of reward and punishment, this return is certainly
favorable, for such a resolve to choose the good brings its own reward.

My own feeling is that it is telling you to let go of your hurt and anger because the connection you have with your husband is strong. To return to the connection you both had before this incident.

The "inferior people" here might be your hurt feelings rather than your husband. Often in readings, there are inferior people mentioned, but they are just as likely to be your own attitudes or mind states as they are to be other people.

It sounds like the decision you made to stick with this man was not an easy one and you deliberated greatly before going ahead with it. That is why I'm thinking that this moment of doubt is the negative state of mind that you need to move away from and back to the decision you originally made.

I guess some people on this forum might read it as completely the opposite, though, so it's important to be aware of both options and see which ones rings true to you.

This happened to me to and the first thing I did was ask myself what was my responsibility in why this would happen, why would he turn to someone else.
Under no circumstances am I saying it's right that your husband turned to someone else.

Line 4 suggests by fixing the problems in your marriage can help towards dissolving his need to look elsewhere.

Hex 24 is Turning Point to this is a chance to do what Line 4 suggests and Hex 51 is Shake up so in my mind this reading is saying the shake up is to turn your marriage around.

- Liss

Thank you, kash. Your interpretation rings true to me. I have been in a relationship with my husband since I was 19, he was 30. I'm 44 now and he is 55, so we have gone through a lot together, which is also why it has been very, very painful to me.

I will try my best to heed the i ching's advice, though the trust is a difficult issue. In the first months, it robbed me of my peace of mind and the ability to trust anything he says. I am much better now, thanks to friends and older women family friends who have helped me sort through my feelings and bottomline for this relationship. My only hope is for time to pass quickly and for me to move on.

Hi, Liss. I am sorry to hear that you experienced this, too. No one should ever experience betrayal by another; it's a very heavy cross to bear emotionally and physically.

I'll try to work it out with my husband and hope he has indeed learned his lesson. Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts.

I realize this is an older post, but I am commenting to possibly clarify or add my perspective to the line. I am still a beginner to the I Ching and so I don't claim to understand the line better than anyone else, but it seems to me the line is very clear about separating from inferior people and going forward alone. My ndersandng of this line is that it would benefit to separate from the husband and go forward alone. I also send my heart out to you because that is tough and I'm sure hurts a great deal. Hopefully since this was a year ago things will have become more clear and gotten better for you, dear, and please take care <3