(EDIT: Title should read: 35.3.6 > 62 & 64.2.6 > 16)


Hi I ching community!

First, background story - I made two threads about a one year relationship that failed. There was lots of inner conflict but also lots of love and happiness. It ended badly, he got back with his ex (of 4 years before we met) rather quickly and didn't handle it in the most ethical manner, so it was a big betrayal. (We had never crossed that line or had any infidelity type of problems.) Anyways, after some time apart we finally decided to see each other again, as friends, but he quickly asked me to reconcile. I quickly said yes but I'm afraid it was too premature (the I ching had even warned me 'it may be too soon to rejoin another' not long before then, but I had misunderstood the answer at that time, I was NOT expecting him to want to reconcile that night). Apparently him and his ex (whom I do NOT trust at all) have a lot of unfinished business, in fact, they are going to have a serious in person talk (probably by now already had it a couple of hours ago), the first one since him and I reconciled. The I ching warns me that there's lots of danger and I/we will face conflict and an obstruction in relation to his ex.

This is pretty delicate. Although I don't excuse what he did, I rightfully feel a lot of guilt for my part in why and how the relationship failed. I was very imbalanced in the past and made a lot of mistakes. So I feel extra cautious now because of it in terms of how I handle situations, I try not to take impulsive actions or be quick to judge. I used to want to know if it would work out or not and when instead of looking deep into the lesson behind things. I feel I am also putting myself in very vulnerable position because of this - for example, before I was too mistrusting and now I am flexible. I'm afraid he'll take advantage of that and my guilt or because he is still hurting he will still do something impulsive. Since we reconciled our relationship has been going smoothly until last night, she kept calling him and we had an argument in which I honestly feel he overreacted. I can sense she is a threat to our relationship and the I ching confirms it but I'm not sure what to make of it so your insight would be greatly appreciated, please.

I asked where does it all (the obstruction between us) lead us?
The answer was 35.3.6 > 62

Then I asked will he and I (as a couple) be able to overcome the obstacles and obstructions?
The answer was 64.2.6 > 16

Oh, and I sorry this one wasn't in the title but if you could please help me interpret one more. I asked what should I do right now regarding my relationship?
The answer was 52.5 > 53

"What should I do right now regarding my relationship?"
Answer 52.5>53

52- still yourself, center yourself, find your grounding and balance. Meditate.

Line 5- don't speak on impulse, wait for the flow to come to you, so as to say what's meant to be said. Enjoy what progress you've made. You have your man back after all. Is this not what you want?

53- good relationship hexagram. Possibility of marriage in the long run. Take one step at a time. Watch the progress unfold, appreciate all the good. Be proper, take the right steps to continue making progress.

Blue_Angel

"Where does all the obstruction between us lead?"
Answer 35.3.6>62

35- make love. Advance. Multiply what you have by working on it.

Line 3- keep developing, yourself, and your relationship. Come to an agreement.

Line 6- still yourself, be happy with what you have.

62- perhaps you've made a small mistake or been a little excessive. Who can blame you. But keep to small tasks so you can make a little bit of progress at a time. Pay attention to the small details. You may be overwhelmed, while you are, its best to keep a low profile, and not get all worked up.

Blue_Angel

"Will he and I as a couple overcome the obstacles?" Answer 64.2.6>16

16- use your excitement of this fresh start in this relationship to help you, Its all very unpredictable. Why? Because it takes two, life changes daily, our actions play a big role in how it all unfolds.

64- you've crossed the river successfully, you are back together.

Line 2- don't allow this issue with her to cause the two of you to argue.

Line 6- enjoy each others company and do everything in moderation, there is still work to be done, like any relationship.

Best wishes,

Blue_Angel

Thank you very much Blue_Angel!

I have a question about your last interpretation. "64- you've crossed the river successfully" Isn't 64 the opposite? You ALMOST cross the river but something is holding you back?

Also, if you could please help me decipher 2 more.

What effect will the obstruction have on our relationship?
6.3.5 > 18

And I asked again what I should do regarding my relationship.
40.3 > 32

Do you think that retreat means give up on the relationship since there's a 3rd person (not sure to what extent but she is clearly the obstruction) or simply disengage myself from the issue and retreat to myself while the problem works itself out?

Blue_Angel, do you agree with my interpretation of what it ALL means:

I think we fed a lot of negativity into our relationship in the past, which rooted the mess in which we are now. I think the I ching is telling me to stop doubting and fearing fate, life, the Creative, (and as a religious person I include) God. I think it's telling me to continue with what is right. In this case, continue with the relationship with genuine intentions, focused on the path (rebuilding a proper relationship) and not the goal, after all, the obstruction hasn't come to light yet, I can't act prematurely. I truly don't believe he is the kind of person who would want to continue 2 relationships at the same time so I don't think this state can last long. The conflict is NECESSARY, for all of our sakes. If he truly belongs to me then I shouldn't fear, and thus retreat to myself, let things work themselves out. If he DOES NOT belong to me, I shouldn't be afraid either. This 2nd chance has been a gift from God, without it I'd feel shame and guilt and wonder what could have been but at least now if something goes wrong I know I gave it my best effort but it didn't happen because it wasn't meant to be, and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship in which the state we're in is permanent anyway. The best way to receive this ultimate blessing (freedom from the obstruction, whether it be his exgirlfriend or whether it be my relationship with him itself) and enjoy it to the fullest is to follow the I ching's advice in not indulging my doubts and fears but remaining modest, detached (detachment is the one I have the hardest time with), and independent.

I truly believe that is what the I ching is trying to tell me. But... I would like some affirmation.

My apologies on 64. Yes, you've almost crossed the river, and yet you are stuck in the middle, you worry about this other woman (I think is you soaking your tail). Yes, I think you have a good understanding of your readings. He has broken up with her right? And now you and him are back together? One thing I noticed here, is you've had a 53, 35, and 32. There's hope of a good relationship here. Do not create a third person if there isn't one. Be confident, have faith, be trusting, enjoy your relationship. Do not allow her to be your focus. I think your reading of 40.3>32 points to this. Allow these problems to dissolve, dismiss it from your mind. Do not carry this unnecessary weight on your back. You have endured, your relationship is lasting.

Blue_Angel

Their break up is rather bizarre, I can't get into it without going into post twice as long as this one already is and I'd rather not bother you with the details, you've been super helpful and I see you helping others a lot, I'd rather use up as least of your time and energy as possible. But in short, it was suspicious, he changed details, and ultimately he said they just stopped talking without a real 'talk'. (I honestly believe he went to see her the night we had a fight.) Not sure if he is saying that because he has her on hold or because it's true or because he just doesn't want to talk about it with me right now. He will have to talk with her (assuming he really hasn't) eventually. I don't think I've mentioned this but they have a baby together. He said he would let me know in advance when he goes to see his baby. I will know if he really does tell her he and I are back together because she will call me like crazy. She's one of THOSE girls. That's how I found out they got back together after him and I broke up, she started calling me to harass me. I tried being the bigger person and wished her well in her relationship and she said nothing but hurtful uncalled for things that I didn't care to know about (and a lot I suspect were lies). That's why I don't trust her, she's deliberately and directly tried to hurt me. I know I'm not impartial here But I sincerely think she's the kind of person that wants what she doesn't have just because she doesn't have it and the kind of person who does things for external reasons (like they feel someone owes them or to hurt someone or etc).

Hex 53 is positive but mostly I get hex 25 and hex 36 and the obstruction hex. I do believe I should see this relationship through, whether it leads to failure or success, with genuine effort. And you're right, I shouldn't focus on her, especially right now since she (or whatever the obstruction is) but instead focus on what is in front of me. The I ching has been confusing me lately, it advices me to go with the flow, continue on the right path, not talk about her much, etc. but when I directly asked if I should just "stop talking about her and give him my full trust while I focus on the relationship" and it gave me a very strong NO. I have come to the conclusion that it is telling me that if things become amiss I should take action, but until then just do my part, take things one step at a time (like you said, everything in moderation), and remain alert.

Whatever the obstruction is, I am sure it is going to come into the light pretty soon. Today I asked again "what can I expect to happen in my relationship in the near future?" Answer - 7.5 > 29 - Something bad will come out into the open soon! And it'll mess with my/our emotions. I asked about his feelings for me and got 36.3.4.5 > 17. I think it means the over-romanticized hype of having me back is wearing off. I know he loves me, I suppose it's 'darkening' because its returning to the reality - him still having resentment for me and holding back because I hurt him in the past. Overall I feel there's potential or a foundation or something already there that isn't being tapped into properly.

Blue_Angel, if it's not too much more trouble could you please help me decipher the following 3?

I thought a lot about what you said and considered what if the obstruction isn't her (she probably will be one if she isn't one yet) but it's him, emotionally. So I "what is holding him back from me?"
31.2 > 28
I vaguely remember someone saying something about hex 28 meaning the man isn't ready to commit. Not sure if 31.2 is hopeful or not, the interpretations I've seen seem to speak of both misfortune and good fortune.

I decided to be more straight forward and asked "what is wrong with my relationship?"
3.1.4 > 45
Not sure if it's just pointing out what's wrong or guiding me on how to continue. Also, I can't help but notice it said to appoint helpers, in one of the other readings I posted it also mentioned helpers... Hmm...

"What should I do to move our relationship forward (to become a serious, honest, meaningful relationship)?"
33.2.4 > 57
I'm fairly confident I understand this one correct but because it's important I'd really appreciate affirmation. I think it's telling me to take things slow (like you said everything in moderation), not give up but just approach the relationship more gently, proceed as the way opens up. ...Right?

Sorry, I've been overwhelmed. I'm very afraid of messing things up again. And I'm terrified of the unexpected (like maybe this time I'll do everything right and HE will take advantage and screw me over). I bet it's messing with the relationship itself too, I can't be relaxed, I feel like my guard is always up. I have to remind myself that as long as I am true to myself and proper principles, WHATEVER happens will have a noble purpose (I really do believe it but I have to keep reminding myself because I keep forgetting). I trust the I ching is either trying to guide me to a successful relationship or deliver me towards freedom from the kind of remorse and guilt that would keep me from moving on when things (anything, not just a relationship) fail. Anyways, I won't ask any more questions (at least not until the obstruction comes to light! @_@) but rather focus on the wisdom the I ching has already offered me and live it out... unless of course you have a suggestion of a clear and direct question Blue_Angel?

Hi,

I'm sorry you are in this tough situation. Has he made a commitment to you? Did I misunderstand? I thought you and him were back together? You ask what is holding him back from you? Why do you ask this? Is he distant or not communicating with you? Do you not see him on a regular basis?

I really wouldn't ask the Iching what anothers feelings are. Its hard to know if we are given the answer. In most cases the Iching is speaking directly to us, about us. Our feelings, our actions.

Sometimes it can give answers about the future but a lot of times its about right here. Right now. Especially when we are worried or unbalanced. If we ask question after question to the Iching, our answers will become very muddled. We wont see clearly anymore. A mess becomes a bigger mess. Best to read Hilary's sticky on relationship advice, right underneath shared readings.

When asking, I would be as calm and balanced as possible. Meditate first. Are you doing this? Then when you receive the answer, don't allow it to make you want to ask another question, instead ponder over it for a while. Maybe til the next day or a couple of days. See if you can match what's happening in life with your answer.

Are you happy with this man? If you take a deep breath, allow all the negative thoughts to dissolve, are you happy? Are you compatible? Do you enjoy your time with him? Do you love him? Is he caring? Understanding? Loving? Kind? Humorous? Not that you need to answer me, but yourself.

You don't have to be in this relationship. If your instincts are telling you its not good for you, trust yourself, let it go. Whenever we are on any path, we can take another direction. There's nothing that says you have to stay. Is there?

Is this worth it to you? To go through these issues with her? They will always have a connection, they have a child. You will all have to come to agreement. Everything will have to come to the light, be out in the open. Have you talked to him? Has he told her he is back with you? Are
there friends and family members that know? Has this been made
public? Again, you do not have to answer me. But yourself. If you're determined no matter what to go on with him, then some questions to the Iching would be for yourself. "What action should I take now?" "How am I doing?" Have you asked "what is a current image of (name) and I?" Or "how are (name)and I doing?"

I will take a look at some of your questions and answers, and give my insight to the interpretation as soon as I can. Take care of yourself.

Be blessed,

Blue_Angel

Actually... "what should I do right now, regarding my relationship?" Answer 52.5>53... this is a great question and a great answer... why are you not simply following this advice? Do you not have trust and respect for this answer? Not in how I interpret it, but the actual answer.

Yes, he made a commitment to me. We are officially back together. Sorry, I should have explained why I asked. Like I said, recent readings have given me the Obstruction and Standing Still and Darkening of the Light Hex. We see each other regularly and talk every day, family is aware, neither one of us is very social and don't do social network so that isn't very applicable, but yes, there's no question about us being back together. Something just feels off... I suppose it's normal for most relationships that 'reconcile' that things aren't the same, especially at first. It's easier to make sense of it from the outside but from the inside I don't know what to make of it. I also asked 'what is holding him back from me' hoping it would show me the obstruction it was referring to.

You're perspective of why we shouldn't ask of others feelings makes sense to me, thank you. Hilary's post was one of the first I read when I started following this site, I suppose it's time to reread it and refresh my memory of it.

I try to be calm, yes. I suppose I do 'meditate' to some extent, thinking about my question carefully. I pray (so that I may have the strength to understand, accept, and implement the wisdom I receive) and I talk to God.

I definitely want to be in this relationship. I care about him deeply. He's my best friend. I'm not going to hold on no matter what cost but deep down I don't think right now is the time to let go, I do see potential. And I do think perhaps a lot of the issues are just me. It's always me. I give up before I'm ready in my heart to give up or hold on too long. I overthink things. I am very insecure in myself and although I know better I keep expecting the worst and in doing so I know I am mistrusting in the process itself. My instincts aren't telling me that HE is wrong for me or that the relationship is doomed. My instincts are just telling me that there's something wrong or off and I have to be careful because it can potentially be (or become) something significant. And that scares me.

Actually... "what should I do right now, regarding my relationship?" Answer 52.5>53... this is a great question and a great answer... why are you not simply following this advice? Do you not have trust and respect for this answer? Not in how I interpret it, but the actual answer.

Click to expand...

This is actually my most recent reading so I wasn't sure how to put the other ones into perspective with this one. I have been trying to put it into action as best as I can since I received it (last night or the night before that) but because it's so important and because I do feel a bit unbalanced I was hoping you could emphasize on the advice through your interpretation. Although I can see it's so straight forward it's a bit difficult to not get caught up in it (I've looked up different interpretations of the lines and the imagery and stories throw me off) and wonder if I'm missing something or if I got it wrong.

I think I just made a connection within with 52.5>53.

It's telling me what you've been telling. It's telling me the same the something similar to what it told me when I asked "what is wrong with my relationship?" 3.1.4 > 45. It's telling me something I have acknowledged in myself again and again. I know what I'm doing wrong now - overthinking it. As I was doing my readings a part of me was hoping I'd get 'splitting apart' or hex 53 gradual progress (especially hex 53! ). Even the Marrying Maiden hex. NOT because I want the splitting apart or marrying maiden hexes, I know I'd be upset if I got them, but because I keep looking for a definitive answer instead of living out the experience. I think I'm looking for a definitive answer to AVOID living out the experience, so if the relationship is going to bring unexpected humiliation for me I will be prepared. But that is only cheating myself out of receiving the full benefits of the lessons life is offering me. And of being true to my heart.

You're right, my readings aren't so bad, nothing is a guarantee but they offer hope. They're very accurate and more positive than my fears. There's real hope and real danger. I think the I ching is telling me to take things slow with myself, to protect myself without losing out on the experience or lessons behind it, and with him because reconciliations are delicate and he is obviously still iffy about me. I think it's telling me to do what I feel is right if and when the moment comes to act. Until then, it's telling me to calm down and stop getting ahead of myself, focus only on what's in front of me. Take small steps. Only by taking one step at a time do I have a REAL chance at rebuilding my relationship properly or, if not, a chance to benefit from this experience and the lesson behind it with the least harm done to me as possible.

So I will calm down.

Yes, in 40 line 3, it speaks of unnecessary trouble that is self made. So you may need to take into consideration that the only obstacle that exists right now, is you. Your own fears and doubts. Meditation and the Iching can really help with understanding yourself, where your fears stem and how to let them go, dissolve. You could also take into consideration the full moon we just had. Some of us are extra cautious, our emotions run high around the time of a full moon, and pay attention to your own female cycle, if you don't already. I pray as well, when I meditate, I always start by giving thanks for all of my many blessings. Some say the more we focus on our blessings and our appreciation, the more blessings come. If we focus too much on what problems will come, they will surely appear. When you receive a reading that says there are obstacles, pay attention to how you are feeling. See if you are creating the obstacle. Blockage in your mind. If you get 36, hiding, wounding of the light. Remember that's not its only meaning. It seems to say you are protecting your light, but should hold onto your goals/aspirations, that way when the time is right, you can allow your light to shine. (Right timing can simply mean, when YOU feel safe/free of doubt).

Blue_Angel

From what you've said here and from your readings, I do not think it is HIM that is still unsure of you. It is YOU that is unsure of him. In 33 you want to retreat, you're scared you will be eaten alive. Who can blame you. But your lines 2 says hold onto what you desire. This healthy, loving, fulfilling relationship. Line 4 says something along the same. Act with the timing, act with moderation. Step by step. If things are good, allow them to be so. Carry out the relationship as planned.