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63.2 (confusing answer to my question) Please help!

weather

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Dear all,

I had a potential relationship developing slowly but lately the man in question seems to have lost interest. I wanted to know "what behaviour from my part has made x lost interest in me?" and got 63.2

Lise says:
6 at 2: A wife losing her veil (- of the carriage?). Do not pursue it. The seventh day you acquire it.
Do not lose your dignity by chasing after your dignity. Just wait, and the things you deserve will come to you, because they belong to you.

This seems to say if I don't purse him, he will come back but as I asked WHAT BEHAVIOUR FROM MY PART...I wonder if it is saying that I was too detached or aloof (which I might have portraid due to the fact I wasn't sure about his feelings towards me) and due to this he lost interest?

I asked clarification about this answer and got 5.1
Initial 9: Waiting at the field altar. Harvest: benefit of steadiness. No fault.
People need a place with culture, but without any demands, for mutual contact. It becomes the center of their country, their people. They will know where they belong and feel at home, and who they are.
(Changes to hex.48)

Which seems to confirm my second interpretation but I'm not sure.

What do you think 63.2 here means? Don't pursue and he'll be back or you were too aloof and he has departed?

Please help!!!
 

angelatlantis14

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HI weather,
I do no not think that the reading is telling you that you did anything to make the other person loose interest. Rather I think it tells you that there was no big potential in this relationship - essentially you got as far as this combination of people could go, and after that things will dissolve. 63 is From Order to Chaos or After Completion. The potential of this relationship has been completed, and now it is disappearing again.
But this is not as negative as it sounds as both the moving line 2 and the changing Hex 5 tell you that this process is natural - it was not meant to be, it makes no sense to run after it. If you stay calm and confident in waiting, then good things will happen - maybe with the same person, but I personally doubt that. I think it more likely that a new impulse will come into your life.

best wishes

maui
 

weather

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Hi Maui,

Many thanks, your interpretation does make sense to me looking at it from where I am now.

It seems like we killed the strong feelings we had for each other by not being able to handle them or develop them in any way possible. It's a pity, because had the circumstances around us been more conducive, we perhaps could have had something good.

I have struggled thinking there was something I could do to make it work due to the intensity of the emotions involved in both parts but due to cirscumstances (very long to explain) there wasn't much I could do and when I actually tried a couple of times something small to get us to communicate more it created the opposite effect and the gap between us became bigger and bigger.

We see each other regularly (less regularly now) in a social setting and we are not speaking any more, just the conventional hi and bye when we bump into each other. It has been painful for a while but now I'm accepting this is how things are and there's not much I can do at this point. Letting go has calmed me down but I still feel we have some sort of unfinished business and wonder if we'll have another opportunity in the future or at least, if we're going to be in speaking terms again.

So following what you said:"....If you stay calm and confident in waiting, then good things will happen - maybe with the same person, but I personally doubt that. I think it more likely that a new impulse will come into your life. " I asked if there was any potential of good things happening between x and i in the future (13.1.2.4>57)

Initial 9 : Union of people at the gate. Without fault.
Real union is only possible when one’s mind is free. Without presumptions, convictions – outside one’s house. The highest degree of freedom is a Buddha-soul, which has no ‘yes’ and no ‘no’ (see Joshu’s dog)
(Changes to hex.33)

6 at 2: Union of people at the ancestral temple. Distress.
Simple contacts, flexible, open and casual, make people know and love each other. Restrictions and mores - putting people or things in a box - prohibit them to be genuine and true and to appear like they really are.
(Changes to hex.1)


9 at 4: War-chariots against a rampart. Not able to attack. Auspicious.
Create strong boundaries and clear ethics for yourself, which cannot be shattered. They are just as essential for good contacts as the ability to be open. You decide yourself when to give your riches to others but you should never let them be taken.
(Changes to hex.37)

Again, it doesn't seem very positive, does it? Line 2 is probably describing the cirumstances in which our exchanges took place and the negative influence of others in what was going on between us, so does it mean this will continue happening? Is line 4 advising me to keep him at bay?

x
 
B

blue_angel

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This doesn't look good for a relationship at all. Especially one that is in the beginning stages. It seems very complicated, is there other family members involved here or is he married? Its hard to interpret without the background. Only you would know.
 

angelatlantis14

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Hi Weather,

that is an interesting second reading you received! I agree with Blue Angel in that is seems to be not exactly positive for a relationship. Blue Angel is interpreting the fellowsip of Hex 13 as possible family connections that are in the way. That is a very real possibility and for you to know if its true.

Another possible interpretation would be that you have mentioned that the two of you see each other in a social setting - so I interpret that as common friends or a common group of people like a club or similar. If that is so, then the reading might be saying you might be sucessfull as friends within the group setting - common goals create a strong bond betwen people.
However, you will be less successfull if you try to create a more private bond within this group setting (LIne 1: "The beginning of union among people should take place before the door. All are equally close to one another.) This might lead to humiliation (Line 2: "There is danger here of formation of a separate faction on the basis of personal and egotistic interests.") I do not think that you have eogistic interests :) but the overall tone seems to warning of developing a personal 1-on-1 relationship within this setting.

Line 4 seems to me a recommendation to stay true to yourself, and not let yourself be drawn into a fruitless endeveaour where you need to compromise your principles. "Unable to attack" could mean that any steps taken to mount the wall right now will be unsucessfull.
The overall tone of the Hex is mirrored in the changing Hex 57 which says that only small improvements can be made right now.

I am not sure if this says categorically that there will or will not be a personal relationship between you and x ever - but it clearly seems to say that right now, it is not possible, and it would be better to focus on the whole group you are with.

Hope this helps

maui
 

weather

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Yes Blue Angel and Maui, it is a very complicated and negative situation:
his behaviour has been erratic and went from total desperation to make contact and talk to me to a long period of anger and resentment towards me (by me being a bit reserved, as I was weighting what was this all about), then guilt and wanting contact again.

All this in a club were loads of rumors about us were flying around and I was all the time being observed by people although I kept my composure and never talked with anyone in there about us although it was evident. But he did talk, first maybe innocently asking advice to his 'mates' but then it escalated and became a silly situation very uncomfortable for me, during this process I was trying to calm things down talking to him normally about trivial things which I hoped would normalize the situation but that's when he got angry and our conversations were strange and short as there was tension in the situation, by the time it got a bit too much I walked up to him to say I'd like us to have a conversation about our strange relationship to which he replied:"there's nothing to talk about" and we never spoke again.

I think he has been very childish but maybe there is some misundertanding going on and I hoped I could clear that up but I'm stuck now. I keep going to the place doing my thing on my own and waiting to see if things change. I'm not stared at by all as before but I'm aware he and his friends still look at me when I'm in but I don't pay them attention as it is a stale situation, if we don't talk, only the confussion will continue and I don't want that.

About your interpretation of 13.1.2.4>57 Maui, all of the lines are spot on: I am a reserved person and when I attend this place I go there to do my thing with my headphones on and don't socialize much (although I do talk to some people sometimes), I'm not the only one who does this, many people do, but then there are others who go there and talk a lot which is all good but in this situation it felt like going back to a school playground, this time full with adults! So being one of the gang isn't in my nature and when this situation developed with this man I wanted to have a normal exchange within the place with him as I have sometimes with some people (for some reason that made him upset although he never presented another option). When all this gossip started and I was being stared at I thought maybe I was coming across as too stand offish by not talking to people and I made an effort and started smiling, saying hi and trying to be more approachable but it all continued being ME HERE, THEM THERE if you understand what I'm saying. So yes, now it is not possible to have a relationship with x but FOCUSING ON THE WHOLE GROUP as the IC has replied isn't possible as well, I've tried and it didn't work.

To clarify what to do now I've asked what path to follow so as to x to talk to me again (so I can clarify this situation): 1.2>13

9 at 2: The dragon appears in the field. Harvest: seeing great people.
Whatever one shows or does or even thinks should be genuinely and truly himself. Only oneself appearing is shining. Associate with people of value, good and bad are both contagious.
(Changes to hex.13)

This answer is also confusing: I have been myself so far but my genuiness wasn't well received by this group, so I'm not sure I've shined that much. It seems like there's someone of value I should associate with but I don't know who...Or maybe is saying that I should avoid bad people? As my question was about him, is the IC saying he is the one of value I should associate with or is it saying he is the bad one I should avoid?

x
 

eastern_girl

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Hi, Weather,

63.2 shows a lack of trust and respect from his part. It also has to do with gossips and public life. He might already think you are chasing after him or trying to draw attention. This opinion could be influenced by his friends. You say yourself that they are observing you. The line strongly advises not to throw yourself away, or you will lose your dignity. Time for some pride here. :) I'm sure you deserve better.

All the best,
Eastern Girl
 
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blue_angel

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Hi,

Thank you for sharing, that all makes a lot more sense now. I will take another look at the lines. I believe you have shined :) I'm sorry the situation feels uncomfortable right now... They wouldn't be observing you and talking about you, if you hadn't shined. You've made some kind of an impression on them, you must be pretty important to them.
Perhaps, you will be the leader. I'm being both serious and a smart ass. I don't like people to be inconsiderate or make others feel uncomfortable. I do think things will turn around for you. This is a good reading. Be yourself, continue to be yourself, they do not matter all that much, do they? If you find one that's friendly and sincere, great, you can make friends. If not, there will be others. But definitely stay true to who you are. Your light, creativeness, will naturally shine through, as you do. Stick to your path. As for the above reading, what's meant to be will be. If he's meant to be with you or talk to you, he will. You will not have to leave your path to chase after him. You may very well connect again. Just stay true to yourself. In the meantime I don't think you need to worry too much. Just let it go. Do your thing. What makes you happy. Either they will come around and it will all have been one big misunderstanding or you will make new friends and find a new boyfriend that will be worthwhile.

Best wishes,

Blue_Angel
 

angelatlantis14

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Hi Weather,

that's quite a wonderful and accurate answer you have recieved from Blue Angel, and I second that!

Also maybe that last question was not what you should be asking - after all you have tried to clear up the situation between the two of you and got refused to listen, right? So there is no more need from your side to clear anything up. Let him think what he wants. Its his problem, not yours.

Maybe the last reading gives you quite different advice: that this group is not the right one for you and that you may need to look for another one, where your personality is higher regarded ("Here the effects of the light-giving power begin to manifest themselves. In terms of human affairs, this means that the great man makes his appearance in his chosen field of activity.) Since the changing Hex is 13 again, this might hint strongly that you need to find a fellowship with men more similar to yourself, a group where you can achieve good things with others.

Good luck !

maui
 

weather

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Thanks for all your replies.

Yes, at first having his friends attention wasn't what I wanted, it felt childish he would be speaking about me around but it seemed he was very interested so I saw the good side of that but afterwards the whole thing became negative attention and uncomfortable.

I know he has been disrecpectful and I've been letting go knowing I deserve better. However, a part of me wants to know what have I done wrong for this situation for it to turn the way it has, as him or they might have seen something in me they judged uppon and the whole thing became sour. As I said before I thought it might have been my aloofness and I tried changing that but I didn't succeed. Somehow, I feel guilty, as if I have made a mistake, although I don't know what could that have been. I need to know what have I done to make this situation sour:
53.2.3.4.5>64
A mix of contradictory lines within a Relationship hexagram (53) with Before Completion as the background...Can't relate this to my question.

What will the outcome with him / this group if I just continue being myself:
59.4>6
6 at 4: Disperse one's group, great auspiciousness. Dispersion finds accumulation. Common people would never think of this.
When a group has no strict rules or borders, no dogma’s, it is open for many people. Trust others to take responsibility themselves, and reckon with their way of thinking, then existing contacts will improve, and many new contacts are made possible
(Changes to hex.6)

It seems to say, they will finally come around? I asked for clarification and got 48.5>46:

9 at 5: The well is a clear cold spring. Drink.
Do not try to find inspiration, it cannot be summoned. Just make your mind and heart and soul clear, and it will well up in plenty. Be like the well itself, its inside is empty, open to receive the lavishing waters.
(Changes to hex.46)

It keeps advising me to be myself and the outcome will be good.

For the moment there's nothing else I can do anyway, I did what I could and have been refused to be listened, so letting go and being myself is the only thing I can do now, as all of you have said.

I hope things turn around puerely from a human perspective, although this is a silly situation it has been nasty and unfair. I can see how we humans can be so negative and come to destroy each other in wars were the stakes are high, normally economic, when you see the dark side of people in the most mundane circumstances.

From a romantic point of view, the pureness and magic are gone before they could have manifested so more likely than not this is not an option any more, unless a big positive transformation occured but so far I haven't seen this kind of energy from his part, quite the opposite.

Hugs
xxx
 

weather

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Thanks for all your replies.

Yes, at first having his friends attention wasn't what I wanted, it felt childish he would be speaking about me around but it seemed he was very interested so I saw the good side of that but afterwards the whole thing became negative attention and uncomfortable.

I know he has been disrecpectful and I've been letting go knowing I deserve better. However, a part of me wants to know what have I done wrong for this situation for it to turn the way it has, as him or they might have seen something in me they judged uppon and the whole thing became sour. As I said before I thought it might have been my aloofness and I tried changing that but I didn't succeed. Somehow, I feel guilty, as if I have made a mistake, although I don't know what could that have been. I need to know what have I done to make this situation sour:
53.2.3.4.5>64
A mix of contradictory lines within a Relationship hexagram (53) with Before Completion as the background...Can't relate this to my question.

What will the outcome with him / this group if I just continue being myself:
59.4>6
6 at 4: Disperse one's group, great auspiciousness. Dispersion finds accumulation. Common people would never think of this.
When a group has no strict rules or borders, no dogma’s, it is open for many people. Trust others to take responsibility themselves, and reckon with their way of thinking, then existing contacts will improve, and many new contacts are made possible
(Changes to hex.6)

It seems to say, they will finally come around? I asked for clarification and got 48.5>46:

9 at 5: The well is a clear cold spring. Drink.
Do not try to find inspiration, it cannot be summoned. Just make your mind and heart and soul clear, and it will well up in plenty. Be like the well itself, its inside is empty, open to receive the lavishing waters.
(Changes to hex.46)

It keeps advising me to be myself and the outcome will be good.

For the moment there's nothing else I can do anyway, I did what I could and have been refused to be listened, so letting go and being myself is the only thing I can do now, as all of you have said.

I hope things turn around puerely from a human perspective, although this is a silly situation it has been nasty and unfair. I can see how we humans can be so negative and come to destroy each other in wars were the stakes are high, normally economic, when you see the dark side of people in the most mundane circumstances.

From a romantic point of view, the pureness and magic are gone before they could have manifested so more likely than not this is not an option any more, unless a big positive transformation occured but so far I haven't seen this kind of energy from his part, quite the opposite.

Hugs
xxx
 

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