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Should I Proceed With This Relationship? 39.4.5 to 62, 57.5 to 18

trueblue

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Hi Everyone,

I've been seeing a man for about 4 months and am uncertain whether to continue with the relationship. In a nutshell, we have extremely strong chemistry in all the key ways (physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual) and I like him more than I've like someone in a very long time. However, he's in the midst of dealing with a serious betrayal by his father and some subsequent financial trouble (he will probably have to file for bankruptcy), and he's expressed that he feels like he's in limbo and not sure he wants a serious relationship right now. He's very hurt, wounded and uncertain at the moment, and still figuring out how to piece his life back together.

At the same time, we seem to be slowly getting closer despite his stated resistance to a relationship. The last time I saw him we had a long talk about it (again), and he said he has realized that he's just so happy when he's around me and could totally see us together under better circumstances, that he's now really confused about whether he should hold off or proceed with me. However, that was a week ago and aside from some light texting this week, he hasn't tried to make plans with me or anything. So, although I'm sympathetic to his situation I also am getting frustrated with the waiting, and am wondering if it's better to just cut my losses at this point and move on.

I asked the I Ching to paint me a picture of:

What is the best relationship arrangement for X and I? (e.g friends, romantic partners, etc)?

39.4.5 Obstruction --> 62 Preponderance of the Small

-and-

How much longer should I stay involved with X romantically/sexually?

57.5 Gentle/Penetrating Wind --> 18 Work on What Has Been Spoiled

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on what I should do. Thanks!
 

ginnie

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57.5 Gentle/Penetrating Wind --> 18 Work on What Has Been Spoiled+

This is a very powerful line. As Hilary says, "There is a real opportunity here to change everything for the better."

One enters in to this situation slowly, over time, and there is a change on its way that will be very significant. Perhaps this is his bankruptcy proceedings, which will clear his debts. After that he will be free to start over again.

The way you described your positive feelings for this man, I think it would be a shame if you couldn't hang in there for him over the long term. I know he said he's not interested in a relationship right now. But it is not always wise to go by what people say, because people are often confused. Maybe if you can reach to the heart of the matter you'll be able to make a good decision.

I think it is interesting that the I Ching hardly ever tells us what to do. It has just said in your case something like: friends will come to help you, and "constancy, good fortune, regrets vanish." Apparently, if you can hang in there, you will experience good fortune.
 
S

sooo

Guest
Hi Everyone,

I've been seeing a man for about 4 months and am uncertain whether to continue with the relationship. In a nutshell, we have extremely strong chemistry in all the key ways (physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual) and I like him more than I've like someone in a very long time. However, he's in the midst of dealing with a serious betrayal by his father and some subsequent financial trouble (he will probably have to file for bankruptcy), and he's expressed that he feels like he's in limbo and not sure he wants a serious relationship right now. He's very hurt, wounded and uncertain at the moment, and still figuring out how to piece his life back together.

At the same time, we seem to be slowly getting closer despite his stated resistance to a relationship. The last time I saw him we had a long talk about it (again), and he said he has realized that he's just so happy when he's around me and could totally see us together under better circumstances, that he's now really confused about whether he should hold off or proceed with me. However, that was a week ago and aside from some light texting this week, he hasn't tried to make plans with me or anything. So, although I'm sympathetic to his situation I also am getting frustrated with the waiting, and am wondering if it's better to just cut my losses at this point and move on.

I asked the I Ching to paint me a picture of:

What is the best relationship arrangement for X and I? (e.g friends, romantic partners, etc)?

39.4.5 Obstruction --> 62 Preponderance of the Small

-and-

How much longer should I stay involved with X romantically/sexually?

57.5 Gentle/Penetrating Wind --> 18 Work on What Has Been Spoiled

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on what I should do. Thanks!

It can be interpreted figuratively, but also quite literally. The "best way" isn't possible right now, it's obstructed. It's back to you.

The X romantic thingy, gentle penetration.. stir up a good gust against the obstacle; penetration happens slowly.

We may lose and we may win though
we will never be here again
so open up, I'm climbin' in,
so take it easy - Eagles
 

trueblue

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Thanks, Ginnie and Sooo! Both of your responses are very helpful, and along the lines of what my instincts have been telling me about the situation. Slow and steady wins the race, and that there is definite potential for a turn-around in the situation (the first signs of it are already showing). In the meantime though, I should go on with my life and take care of myself while the obstruction clears.
 

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