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Is anybody out there? Please, help, help, help

S

seeker

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I asked today what should I do now about Thomas? 19 unchanging. How should I approach him, if that is what this means, 45 to 8. This is the second time I have gotten 45 to 8 in 2 days regarding Thomas. I have almost no understanding of either of these hexes. After all this time, am I now supposed to do something? Please help, I think I'm having a heart attack.
 

pam

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Seeker,

I think you should give him a call - tell him you have been thinking of him and ask how he's doing - then let him initiate any conversation after that. I would not email him - it is too easy to ramble on and say too much and if he is still committed to this other woman, you don't want to say anything that you will regret. Easier to be hesitant on the phone. Also, immediate feedback. You will be able to tell if there is still a connection between you and if he is free to explore it.

I did two throws for you when I read this - "should she contact Thomas?" and got 21 - 42. And then I asked if it would result in a relationship between you two and got 5 - 17. I think something will definitely happen, but which way it will go, I can't say. Your throws of 45 - 8 and my throws both sound positive for at least contacting him. In any case, now that you are free, it is better than sitting around writing pitiful letters to the IC forum. You don't need anyone here to support you before you take an action. Just be clear on what you want to say - and for heaven's sake have a little class. Don't beg, plead, or whimper. Be strong and positive and brief. Let him initiate any meeting or contact. If he seems reticent or not enthusiastic about hearing from you, fine. Tell him he was in your thoughts and you wish him well. Be sweet and sign off. Let him wonder if maybe that sweet voice he heard so BRIEFLY isn't someone he misses.

Believe me, this is something that works, IF IT IS SOMETHING THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE. If not, don't demean yourself by giving away your anxious longing for him etc. etc. And don't mention your ex. In fact, don't mention anything negative. That way his thoughts of this contact will have nothing negative attached to them. Can you do that? Practice it first. You don't sound like you are in the right place just yet to pull it off.

I have had very similar experiences to yours, and the above little scenario is much more effective than sitting around wondering what would happen. Remember, tell yourself you are a classy woman and then act like it.

If he isn't free or isn't enthusiastic about seeing you, then you will have your answer. If he is, you will be much happier than you are now.

Pam
 
C

candid

Guest
Seeker,

I'm sorry but I've lost track here and don't know anymore who Thomas is. If you're getting 45 and 8 a lot, you need to reel yourself in, so to speak. Gather yourself and then hold to your center. If you don't, then you spin out of control.

45 = get it together (lake over earth)
8 = keep it together (water over earth)

19 = overseeing general welfare (earth over lake). I take this to mean that your scope of this relationship is to be inclusive of the significant other or others. There's more to this than meets your eyes. Emotions here reside in something greater than what you are seeing. That may be why you are experiencing this sense of urgency. If you gather and hold yourself together, and reside within the security of the earth, the greater will guide you. Then you can let go and relax again. From this, everything proceeds naturally.
 
S

seeker

Guest
Ok, so I asked what if I call him and got 13.1.3.4 to 20 and what if I email him 49.5 to 55. Based on that sounds like the email is better, but I could be missing something, which is why I come here. I have screwed this up twice before by not following Yi's advice (mostly because I misinterpreted it), don't want to do that again. And sorry, did not mean to sound as if I was suddenly losing it, just been a really rough few weeks, and I have waited so long for any indication to go forward and all of a sudden 19. I've had wait and not yet and have patience for so long, the 19 caught me by surprise. Guess I was a bit overwhelmed by panic and excitement
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Anyway, the help is greatly appreciated.

Btw, Pam, I do not beg, and I have a lot of class. Either email or call would probably go something like just had this feeling I should contact you, find out how you are.

Candid, Thomas is the guy I was involved with and am still so in love with that I think about him almost every day.

Thanks again
 

pam

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49 - 55 sometimes means 'way too much revolution'. Maybe she has access to his email. I still think calling him would give you a better idea from his tone of voice and response what he would like to do with the relationship. And btw, Seeker, 'please, help, help, help' sounds like begging to me. That's why Lindsay's advice is so right. Get yourself together and hold it together. Weren't you the one who yelled to a co-worker across the room and when she got offended you told her you sometimes forget who you are talking to (like your six yr. old)? This is what I mean.
 
S

seeker

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The help help help was just the sense of urgency I felt. I had this very strong feeling I needed to do whatever I am going to do very soon, and lately there has not been much response here. I was afraid the response might come too late. I don't know why I feel that way, its just a gut feeling. When 19 came up, I had this instant response, Its Time!!! The reaction I had was like I had gotten something directly from him instead of just an I Ching reading, it was that strong. I should also tell you that this comes on the heals of my doing a send it back spell. I had gotten answers that indicated my husband, who is a witch, had done something to me before he left. Also a friend had mentioned that he told her before that he wanted me back and knew he would have to spill blood to do it, and I know he did a spell involving blood before moving out, but he denied it having anything to do with me. When I finished the spell last night, I felt like this pop in my aura, thats the only way I can describe it. At one point today, I suddenly felt like the wind had shifted, that something major had changed in my life. It might have nothing to do with Thomas, but the 19 answer seemed like it did. Anyway, still contemplating what to do.
 
S

seeker

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So I decided to get a little help from the Tarot to clarify things. I asked about emailing and got 2 of cups reversed, calling and got the world, so I called. I got his voicemail. Left a simple message: called because I just had a feeling I should, if you want to return the call, my number, if not, hope you are doing well and have a merry christmas. will let you know what happens.
 
S

seeker

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Well, he called back, but he did not know who he was calling, he did not fully understand the message I left (cell phones, what a marvel). He is still with his girlfriend, but was apparently not with her tonight. He also talked about building his own house after season, and said he would be living alone as he was tired of roommates. He asked how things were going and if I needed to talk about anything. But nothing has changed for him. I asked Yi, so what now and got 21 unchanging, which interestly was part of Pams answer for me earlier. I then asked what the prospects were for us now and got 38.1.3.4.6 to 46. 21 seems pretty self explanatory. Not sure if the lines for 38 refer to me and him or me and someone new. Not sure if this whole thing was supposed to make me move on finally or let him know I was still hung up on him (which he didn't know). Another interesting note, when he asked why I had not found someone, he asked if my ex was causing problems. Not sure what this all means or was supposed to accomplish, but maybe it doesn't matter. This time I followed the advice I got, and at least it sounds as if things will be improving. Guess only time will tell.
 
S

seeker

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So I decided maybe it was time to let go. I sent him an email thanking him for talking to me, he was very concerned and compassionate, and I have no doubt that even now, if I really needed him, he would be there. He is the kindest, most honorable person I have ever met, is it any wonder that I love him? I told him how I felt, and that if things changed he knew where to find me, but I would be deleting his email and phone # and not contacting him again. I have every intention of letting this go now, but oddly when I asked Yi one last time what to do now, hold on or move on, I got 31.8 to 64??? I saw in a thread on the divination board where Candid described this line as it isn't over until the coyote sings. I've also gotten the army in another reading about a dream I had, and in Dennings interpretation it talks about needing to feel enthusiastic about your goal in order to keep going. I honestly don't know if I can anymore. I don't know if I can take any more heartbreak, but I have also gotten the line that says something about the greater the suffering the greater the reward. Well, then I should be getting a heck of a reward real soon
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Anyway, so this is where I am, not sure where I will be tomorrow, but today just trying to make it through.
 

stuart

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Seeker i feel that if you trust that the i ching actually works and trust me it does; it may pay to check out hex 4.I say this with the greatest respect and in regards to your romantic area of your life.One days patience can avoid a year of worry.Focus on the timing,sometimes what we desire happens to us when we are ready.Maybe you could meditate with the understanding of your error of asking too many times about your relationship situation.See what this throws up.Hopefully this may clear the slate.Ask again about how the situation with you and x looks for the long term future.This reply may be the important one you can examine in detail,and work upon.
 
S

seeker

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Ok, I could swear I answered this earlier, but now it is not here. So I will try again.

I do believe the I Ching works, when it doesn't its usually the same as a computer not working, operator trouble. It is not a problem with Yi, just a problem with me not understanding it or my ability to see what I want to see.

As for timing, I could not be more ready to have him in my life, but it occurred to me that as Candid pointed out, there are other people involved that 19 might be referring need to be taken care of, so maybe you are right, but it is timing, not for me, but for someone else in the scenario.

I did take your advice, cleared my head and meditiated for a few moments on how I ask too many questions, or ask too often or sometimes, I want a clear answer right away so keep asking questions instead of medititing or researching for the first answer I got and how it fits. I asked to wipe the slate clean, forget all the readings of the previous few days and get a definitive answer to my situation.

I then asked the question, what does the situation look like for me and Thomas long term? 46.5 to 48. As this is one of the most auspicious answers I have ever gotten, I do not dare to hope that I am interpreting it correctly, though I can find no major differences in Wilhelm, Denning, Huang, Karcher or even Lise. I am going to meditate on it and research it further, but would appreciate any thoughts from anyone with more experience, especially if you have direct history with this response. Thanks Stuart for your thoughts and for giving me a different perspective.
 
W

waveringdragon

Guest
well you have passed through 38.1 and are still passing through 38.3, the time line seems to be moving quite rapidly, but be warned, when he reveals himself you will still encounter an obstruction,

blessings to you,

paul
 
S

seeker

Guest
Hmmm, thanks for that. I guess I have been so thrown that I missed the progression. But looking at the last 2 readings, 38 to 46 and then 46 to 48 when I asked about the future. So there is an obstruction I have to work through to get to 46, makes sense. For a while now I have thought that if comes back, he will, at least initially not want anything serious, so maybe that is the obstruction, or perhaps the obstruction is my expecting this. Line 6 talks of mistrusting people who actually mean well. I guess that could mean that when he comes back he will be ready to be with me, but I won't trust it. I think at this point I am going to step back a bit, let things take their course for a while. It's difficult for me, but I am now working on letting go of my expectations, and just take things as they come. Maybe that has been the lesson for me in all this. So maybe Stuart was right, maybe the timing thing is for me, that I can't be ready until I can learn to accept what comes to me and stop trying to make it the way I want it, trying to orchestrate my life and relationships and just enjoy the ride, up and down. I am still focused on outcome. I thought I was moving beyond that, but I have realized that that isn't the case. I still want to know what will happen, don't want to wait unless there is something to wait for. I have had opportunities to meet other people, but I keep thinking what if he comes back, I don't want to get involved with someone else if he is going to come back. But then I just stagnate, because what if he doesn't. Guess I need to stop focusing on what if and focus on what is. Thanks again
 
W

waveringdragon

Guest
interesting progression involving 46, likewise 46 is a progression of 19, where it all began and of course 48 is an organic progression of 46, from the tree pushing upwards out of the earth to the growing tree reaching back down into the earth for sustenance, all in all a lot of progress going on too, you must be learning something from this whole experience
to me 48 has a number of meanings, in one context it represents the i ching itself, in another context it represents the deepest levels of human nature while the nourishing aspect of the hexagram represents educating one's self in both of these,
my interpretation of this would be very similar to what both your self and stuart are saying, i would wipe the slate clean, start again, i would stop approaching the i ching asking questions relative to particular aspects of your life but instead i would approach the i ching openly seeking guidance for your life as a whole, let the i ching direct you to the aspects of your life that require attention and how to deal with them, it may well be that you are not quite ready for the relationship that is right for you, there may be other aspects of your life that need sorting out first or some inner attitudes/priorities may require tweaking a little,
it takes time but after a while you will find that the various aspects/people in your life come to be represented by particular hexagrams which will be both interesting and revelatory to you but the really great benefit of approaching the i ching in this open objective manner is that, no longer confused by what you want, you will come to understand the readings you receive with much greater clarity and the understanding that you develop of the i ching, your inner self and life and whatever else there is will stand you in good stead for years to come

5.2.5, be patient, hide your light, take it easy on your self, don't force anything

best wishes and blessings to you,

paul
 

jte

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"I think at this point I am going to step back a bit, let things take their course for a while. It's difficult for me, but I am now working on letting go of my expectations, and just take things as they come. Maybe that has been the lesson for me in all this."

"What do I need to know now? 5.2.5 to 36. Yep "

Agreeing with your agreeing, Seek.

You know, this love that Thomas brought out in you is something YOU have. Other people bring it out, but ultimately it comes from you.

So, although it probably doesn't seem like it, really, you have it with or without him. It seems like it's FOR the other person, but it's A PART OF you.

Just food for thought...

- Jeff
 
S

seeker

Guest
Thanks to you both, and I am trying. I have at least decreased the numbr of questions I ask, so maybe that is progress. I still don't know what to think about that 46.5. I hesitate to read too much into it, but then I saw a post in the archives where Hillary said we should trust Yi to answer our question directly as 90% of the time it does. But guess only time will tell. Maybe that patience thing is the lesson I am supposed to be learning. It is so not my strong suit. But at the moment, what else can I do???

Yes Jeff I know that love is a part of me. A friend of mine recently gave me a great compliment, she said that thomas did not know what he was missing as I have the greatest capacity for love of anyone she has ever known. It's just that there are only certain people who inspire me to share it, and love is meant to be shared. It just feels wrong to have all this inside me and not have anyone to give it to. But I won't give it to someone who is not worthy. Already did that with my husband, and look how that turned out
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