New...very new.

I'm an amature muscian. The entire group is learning new music for the season. We just did a small show, its early yet so it was 'okay.' My parts this season are a real challange. I practice, but struggle. We meet soon for our next group practice and I really want to 'hold my own.' I am the least experienced in my section. It stresses me because if I don't 'get this' I could miss out having a spot for the main event 5 months from now... and I desperatly want to be there.

So I asked,

Will I succeed with these runs by next practice? 38.1.2 to 35

Will the instructor ever take time to help me personally (give me some direction/ pointers in achieving this goal)? 16 unchanging.

I hope this is good.

Regarding your instructor taking the time to help you personally, you will need to push yourself to ask him to help you. Right now it is just a dream of yours that he give you some direction. In order to make your dream into a reality, you need to ask him for some assistance.

Regarding your 38.1.2 > 35, it shows that you want to make progress. There is a feeling of being an outsider, of not fitting in, maybe having to deal with people you don't like. But as I said above, if you make a point of getting the instructor's attention and asking for some help, you will have a better chance of creating a real success. Try to catch his attention casually, in an informal sort of way, as if bumping into him in the street. You are highly motivated, so just take that one little step and things will begin to go easier for you.

Thank you Ginnie.

I do feel like an outsider! Its an all girl section and they've been playing a lot longer, they are better, know more...and I'm not "in the social group" of theirs. And that is tough.

Its going to be just as tough to ask "correctly." I don't want to get it wrong.

So I just asked what is the correct approach in asking for help? 37.3.5 to 27. This is confusing because I don't see either one going to the other's residence...we live 2 1/2 hours drive away!

37 sometimes refers to speaking from the heart, not going to the other's home.

Line 37.5 often means that you enjoy the affection of your superiors.

Line 37.3 in the context means, I think, to speak up assertively. You have to tell him clearly that you need his help, that you are considerably behind the others in your section.

Maybe you might call him on the phone or online to express this if it is difficult in person. Find a way that is casual, as if you had just bumped into him in passing. This will set the tone as low-key and friendly. Yet do express how much you need his help. Open up and speak up for yourself!

Well...tonight is practice and they're expecting a full line, which will be fun, but hectic. I've got the day to figure out whether to email (leaning towards that) or wait untill I get there. I'll let you know how it went.

Exhausted today.

The actual practice went well. The instructor was the most forthcoming with information to the group as a whole as I've ever seen him. A shock really. On a personal level, my performance was so-so...but I'm ok with it. Minor stuff. Nerves mostly.

I emailed prior and got no response...I asked about a tempo for a piece when I got there and couldn't get a straight answer out of him. (112-132....wtf?) It felt like sabotage! I know now its useless and he's not going to help. Its a total waste of time on my part. I won't do it again.

We have another show coming up. There's 5 in our section. I found out "they" will be doing a quintet piece but the four of them plus one from another section (who doesn't even play the same instrument, who will need to borrow) are "in the group." My only consolation there was when the section leader ran through the piece with the other 4, they bombed on it. (I know, I know, but it felt good after being openly humiliated.) Its all egos. But its tough. (thank God it all goes away while the music is playing)

So I asked today, Does this guy want me to quit? 12.1.6 to 17 (no idea how to apply this)

And, What is happening here? (next show 2 weeks) 46.1.3 to 19

This sounds positive enough. Almost like there's something hidden (a spirit guide?), I'm not aware of that is good and helping. Also the 8th month thing sounds like I succeed to the level I need to at each meeting, almost at a surprise to the aboved mentioned.

But when I read:

19---"But its surging growth can be disastrously interrupted by ‘reaching an end in the eighth month’.

The eighth month is the month of harvest. If this comes round too soon for what Nears to reach full growth – if the situation demands that you produce a tangible result prematurely – then this means misfortune. Or if you focus exclusively on results instead of watching patiently over developments – if your expectations are out of touch with the pace of growth – then there is misfortune."

Does this mean I will get strung along then get the rug pulled out from underneath me at the last (and most important) show Aug 31? I hope not. THAT would be beyond cruel!