Dear all

I am experiencing trouble with a friend whom I have known for a long time. She always had a tendency to demand my time and love whenever she found she needed me, which can be a bit suffocating at times. Despite her strong, claiming personality I maintained the friendship because underneath all the drama I do recognize she is a beautiful person. Through the years I learned how to keep my distance and still maintain an honest friendship with her.

Recently I made a life-changing decision to go back to school. To me this is a dream come true, I never could afford to combine work and studies. But through an arrangement with the Belgian government I was admitted to a special program for people who want to re-orient themselves through college into social work. At the end of my studies I will have my bachelor’s degree and throughout my studies I can combine an internship with classes. So as of September I will be a student! Ever since I got into this program I have been walking on air, I am so grateful and happy for this opportunity :bows:

So, in all my enthusiasm I told my dear friend a few weeks ago about my new endeavor. Last week I happened to bump into her and she casually told me she took all the same steps I did, so as of September we will be classmates. She is even trying to get into the same institution as where I will be doing my internship. I went to some trouble to find out how to get into the program and finding the perfect place for my internship, and now I find out she took everything I told her, followed my exact footsteps... The whole situation just isn't sitting well with me. I get the feeling she is just piggy-back riding along with me, while I just want to focus on my upcoming studies. The last thing I want is someone who will almost certainly demand at least 25% of my focus every day of the school year.

I hope I am not overreacting here, and I certainly wish my friend all the best in this world, I am just really taken aback by the way she has been dogging me around lately.

So I asked
What to expect from X if she joins me for lessons and internship orthopedagogy?
Hex 34 2.3 -> 51

I think it says to cool down a bit, refrain from a strong reaction, yes expect there to be troubles but overall if I remain true and calm all will be well.

I would certainly appreciate the insights of the folks here in Clarity, because my emotions about this are to strong at the moment to remain objective

What to expect from X if she joins me for lessons and internship orthopedagogy?
34.2.3 > 51

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I suppose it's like having a little sister following you around. Nevertheless, the casting suggests to me that she will be an aid to you in the end.


I do not know the definition of "orthopedagogy".

Hi Poccosin

Your comment about 'little sister' put a smile on my face since she is 10 years my senior.

I used to look up to her and idealize her but I have done a lot of growing up since we met, I guess you could say the tables have turned. I feel like I am the 'caretaker ' these days.
She used to be an example to me, back in the day when I was still a wild child. She showed me how to stand up for myself. I will always love and respect her, even though our rolls have changed troughout the years.
Thank you for reminding me of something so sweet.

I was looking for an adequate translation for the word 'orthopedagogie' but I couldn't find a decent one. I would describe the profession as a teacher of some kind, to assist people back into society who have a troubled background, ranging from mental to physical disabilities.

Poccosin,

Do you mind explaining to me how you derived her being an aid to me from this reading?

So I asked
What to expect from X if she joins me for lessons and internship orthopedagogy?
Hex 34 2.3 -> 51

Click to expand...

Well take comfort from the fact that surely if she is doing it just to copy you she is in for a nasty surprise when she realises there is a lot of work to do ! I feel she may reverse her decisions...not follow through. Look at 34.3 charging with horns and getting entangled.

I mean this seems to have motivated her in some way but surely she needs to have a very clear and firm career goal to follow through...Looking at the change patterns the yang pattern is 46 and the yin pattern is 25. My guessing is if she does start she is soon going to want to leave and she'll regret getting herself entangled in the process and want to disentangle....in fact I think she may pull out before it even starts

This is rather wild guessing on my part I suppose but either one has the calling for this or one doesn't.
I reckon when the work starts coming in, essays etc, she will be looking to get out.

I could be wrong as I'm not going entirely by the cast but also my own view. I think she is being daft and will come to see that and get eggy faced and look even dafter, when she realises she has put herself in a position she doesn't want to be in (34.3)

dancingfox said:

Poccosin,

Do you mind explaining to me how you derived her being an aid to me from this reading?

Click to expand...

My pleasure. Your casting was 34.2.3 > 51. In the Duke of Zhou's interpretation, 34 is the hexagram of entanglement, based on the goat visual, but in King Wen's interpretation it is a woman giving birth. You are pursuing a new course in life, a sort of new birth. 51 Judgment and Image (Wilhelm):

Shock brings success.
Shock comes-oh, oh!
Laughing words-ha, ha!
The shock terrifies for a hundred miles,
And he does not let fall the sacrificial spoon and
chalice.

Thunder repeated: the image of Shock.
Thus in fear and trembling
The superior man sets his life in order
And examines himself.

In the Judgment the person does not make a mistake. In the Image, the person sets life in order. Again, does not make a mistake. When someone is looking at us, we take extra care. This is why, whether there is direct intervention or not, I think X will contribute to your success, no matter how annoying she may be at the moment.

Trojina

Well take comfort from the fact that surely if she is doing it just to copy you she is in for a nasty surprise when she realises there is a lot of work to do ! I feel she may reverse her decisions...not follow through. Look at 34.3 charging with horns and getting entangled

Click to expand...

It wouldn't surprise me. The same issues keep returning in her life. She has trouble keeping a job because of her strong personality. She believes in always speaking her mind even when at odds, something I respect but has put her in the path of troubles before. She is the kind of person that thrives in the footlight and she tends to pull all attention to her, creating strong mixed reactions in her enviremont. Women get jealous, man get cocky when she's around. I wonder how she will fare with that attitude, cause there's gonna be alot of teamwork involved. As an orthopegogist the key is working succesfully from within your team, at least that's what I think I understand about it. That's why I was a bit stressed out at the thought of having to work together with her, I know from personal experience what a destructive force of nature she can be. I also know how she came to be that way, and I know that underneath all the boasting what a truly sweet, nursuring and caring woman she can be. But you do have to look, beyond all the drama. I feel a bit torn, because I think she deserves a chance in life just like me, I am just not sure if she is quite ready for this particular chance.

Will keep you posted an how things work out

Update

Turns out after all that my friend did not get accepted into the course. The coach had her doubts about her motivation. She needs to set a few things in order in her personal life, if she can make the needed changes in her private life, she can commence the course after six months. It's a setback for her, but also a reality check.

The life long friend in this reading slowly faded out of my life. Going back to school was a life changer for me. In the beginning when I had my small successes my friend was there to cheer me on. After a while she became negative about my blooming career, she believed I was selling myself out to society, becoming 'one of them' and whatnot. She gradually started shutting me out of her life. We haven't spoken eachother in more then a year. Looking back I can see the toxicity in that friendship. I still care for her and I prefer to believe she still cares for me to. Because of chronic illness and severe abuse in her youth it is almost impossible for her to get ahead in life. Our pathways have split, but despite what happened I will always remember her fondly.

dancingfox said:

she believed I was selling myself out to society, becoming 'one of them' and whatnot.

Click to expand...

I had a friend with this "us against the world" mentality. I used to consider him my best confident for a long time. His personality & our story are different from yours, but toward the end of our friendship I sensed our paths were about to split. While he pretended to love all humanity- and I guess he really saw himself as very humane- he was really averse to mainstream successful people.

marybluesky said:

I had a friend with this "us against the world" mentality. I used to consider him my best confident for a long time. His personality & our story are different from yours, but toward the end of our friendship I sensed our paths were about to split. While he pretended to love all humanity- and I guess he really saw himself as very humane- he was really averse to mainstream successful people.

Click to expand...

Sounds familiar... I used to share her views, a long time ago. Nothing wrong with being the underdog or supporting those in need at the marges of our society. But I have found that experiencing true connection with people makes your heart and your world only bigger. Not smaller

My experience shows that by being & sympathizing too much with the underdog you risk to ignore your potential to form a better life.