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What can I do...?

esolo

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Hi, I'm back with an update about the readings that seemed so positive but disaster followed.

I have not spoken to this man since this all happened back in April. I think he has a drug problem. I think this is what it was all about. He had the signs of someone addicted to coke. In fact, he even told me that explicitly but I wasn't listening. I didn't want to hear it because I had my heart set on a relationship with him.

I think he was involved in an emotional battle between wanting me and knowing that as a drug addict he was not fit for anyone. Out of weakness he allowed me to come visit him and we ended up hugging and kissing. But, that's where it ended. I was crushed, he apologized, looked terribly sad and we haven't spoken since.

Unfortunately, I have had a very hard time getting over it. I am still very attached to him emotionally and miss him terribly. The only positive sign I have seen (from a distance) is that he has removed all his "party" pics from Facebook and is no longer on Facebook for 36-48 hours straight as he was before (coke). In fact, I wondered at the time when he slept. He wasn't. He was high on coke. (I don't have a history of getting involved with alcoholics or drug users so while I knew that it was odd I wasn't FULLY conscious of what was going on)

I'm just so brokenhearted over the whole thing. I feel stupid as well for refusing to hear what he was telling me. "I use cocaine. I say that as a confession. You have to know." It went in one ear and out the other.

Because I'm having such trouble getting over it I asked if there is something that I can do to alleviate my suffering, to get this behind me. I asked:

What can I do to stop feeling this way about him...to get over feeling this way about him?

I got 38.6

Isolated through opposition, one sees one's companion as a pig covered with dirt, as a wagon full of devils. First one draws a bow against him, then one lays the bow aside. He is not a robber; he will woo at the right time. As one goes, rain falls; then good fortune comes.


I think the Yi is telling me,

"You're looking at all this through frosted glass. You don't have enough information. There is nothing wrong here. Put aside your defensive posture and just relax. Everything will be resolved eventually."

Interestingly, I got a similar answer when I asked if there was something I can do to improve my relationship with him. I got 25.5. "Use no medicine in an illness incurred through no fault of your own. It will pass of itself."

Dobro's advice to someone who received this answer:

Here are the main elements of 38.6:

1 You've got a very negative view of the situation or the players in the situation.

2 You feel like you're on your own.

3 You're in a defensive/aggressive mode of reaction because of the way you're viewing the situation
.


That's definitely how I feel.

4 The way things appear is an illusion, however - the forces in this situation are actually your support/your friends/your allies.

5 When the moment passes, you will see your delusion, tension will relax, and good times will ensue.

Here's how to handle a 38.6 situation: don't trust in your own afflicted perceptions and reactions, cuz on the one hand they're not seeing the situation accurately, and on the other hand, if you DO something about it, you'll be acting out of that illusion that they're dirty pigs and you will make the situation worse.


So, the answer is to...do nothing. Wait it out.
 

ginnie

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Maybe he'll decide to kick his habit and you can look forward to happier times in the future. But I think you're right for now. Do nothing. Wait it out.
 

esolo

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Thank you for your input, ginnie.

That's what I'm going to do...nothing. I received two answers basically saying that so I'm not making any moves here of any kind.
 

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