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Relationship issues (distance) hex 42>58

S

sweetdisposition

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Im finding it quite difficult to understand what im being avised to do here. I asked the I ching what does x want from me? I have been involved with this man for about 2 and a half months and has been very intense. He was living here and we spent all our time together since we met aside from going to work. Unfortunately he had to leave unexpectedly due to working commitments, london way (6 hour drive) from me. I cant move near him as he travels a lot with work and he isn't willing to turn down a well paid job to be with me, here. Which is fair enough. I've tried long distance but I don't feel I have the strength for it. I haven't seen him for two weeks now and it's really depressing me. I don't want to feel like this, so I figured it's probably best to break it off and try to move forward. He wants us to stay together, however he is very casual about things and doesn't talk much about our future like he used to. He thinks it's silly and i'm giving up on the first hurdle, although there has been quite a few ups and downs.

I got hexagram 42.1.2.5.6 > 58 any opinions to help me understand would be much appreciated.

I then asked what if i leave the relationship and try to move on from x?

I received hexagram 7.1.3 >11

Finally, I asked do you have any general advice for me regarding x?

I received hexagram 40.1.5 > 58
 
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long yi

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Game over.

Hex 58: there are two females. It is a six strike hexagram, meaning the relationship cannot solidify if you do not know each other long enough. At one time, there may be intensive intimacy, but this cannot last and result in a marriage. You upper hand is eroding away because there is another female involved.

Six line method analysis is required to see the detail of each party's role in this relationship.

Hex 11 means chaos after a time of honeymoon and peace between the male and female.
 
S

sweetdisposition

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That is very interesting. I've been feeling quite sick over the past couple of weeks, questioning his intentions but of course naturally I want to believe him. I'm owed money from him as he came down from london for two week to be with me, after losing his job so I happily lent him some money in the belief I would get it back the next week. Three weeks later, I still don't have it (won't go into detail) but late payment was apparently down to other workers not him, he wants me to go and see him this weekend to meet his mother who he is staying with at the moment. Although he doesn't know what time the money will be in his bank tomorrow (there may be yet another excuse). I told him i'm not booking a train until the money is in my bank. I guess I've been holding on because I do like him, think we click and have understanding etc.. I'm quite naive when it comes love, and still question his intentions. It was only 100 quid I lent him but still..

I confronted him about another woman being in the picture and he said I don't know what you're on about and brushed it off. I've not been able to see his reaction in person though. I feel it could he his ex who he claimed to be with for 10 years. He did bring her up a few times. It could be someone new though, he's got the gift of the gab, comes across very confident and can be arrogant sometimes.

I consulted I ching again and asked for guidance on my bad gut feelings about x that are causing me anxiety and again I cast hexagram 54.1.3

I think line 1 is saying I am being used for his advantage, I can help with his needs. There is an interpretation "although in a weak and powerless position, you can still render to the service at work" it also talks about a background position, i'm guessing that means the other woman or whatever it may be has first priority. I don't feel very wanted, only when I say I don't want to talk to him any more, then I go back to feeling trapped and useless like I do now. We spoke earlier for about an hour and he is eager for me to go and see him.... So confusing!

Line 3 the ego encourages improper desires and self indulgences. I gather it means to attain my desire (him) it will be necessary to compromise myself and be unhappy?

could somebody help with that?

Hexagram changed to 7 the army - this means anything will result in arguing? He does have a short fuse....
 
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S

sweetdisposition

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I asked if he's lying to me and got 6.2.5 > 35

Seems he may be but it will be hard to prove as he has an answer for everything.....
 
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RindaR

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not based on anything specific in Yi:

The first stage in abuse is to charm the target. lots of positive energy, flattery, etc.

The second stage is to isolate - includes financially- make the person as dependent as possible, get them away from family and friends, reduce emotional and social resources.

The third stage is to test the target's reaction to intimidation and/or threat of violence.

The forth stage is outright abuse.

This progression does not stop in an abuser without direct intervention - the target leaves or there is counseling, etc.

Run, don't walk away from this relationship. it sounds like the loan serves two purposes, ties you to him with your expectation of repayment and reduces your own resources.

Ask me how I know.
 
S

sweetdisposition

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Thanks Rinda. I dread to think you went through that. Deep thoughts have been plaguing my mind about it all. I've been in an abusive relationship in the past for three years and know the signs, I wouldn't let myself get into that state again and would never let someone abuse me physically. I believe everyone has arguments and can say things in the heat of the moment so I can't figure out if he intends on making me a victim or if he has some internal conflicts going on which leads him to be quite short tempered but if that's the case, i'll soon know...
 
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RindaR

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Does intention matter if the pattern feels the same? just asking....
 

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