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Which one is more favorable? 55.1.3>16 or 15 unchanging

vikk

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Hi all!
My husband I am in a confusing relationship with(I want to stay together, he cannot make a decision to stay or leave, we live separately now) asked me if I wanted to go to his sisters house for Christmas.
I asked "why he asked me if I want to go?" The answer was 4 unchanging.

Then I decided to see what IChing thinks of me going and received 55 1.3> 16
After I asked what iching thinks of me not going and received 15 unchanging.
So what is more favorable going or just canceling on him even though I agreed.
Thank you!
I appreciate your insight!
Vikk
 
W

watergoddess1

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The answer 4 unchanging means - he was being nice in his offer. So you guys can forget your problems for a few days and maybe discover some refreshment in the relationship.

55.1.3 > 16 .... I think this means that the christmas magic may weave its spell for a few days, but it's a temporary state - underlying issues will still be prevalent and you're urged not to indulge too much in the fantasy that christmas brings OR in the dramas of your relationship. But going is not a bad thing.

15 unchanging - this hexagram is about being humble. Is not going the most humble and modest thing to do? Or is it an act of ego?

If you put it into perspective, it's a privilege to be invited for Christmas by a person - and probably an opportunity for something positive. And going back to hex number 4 - I think his intentions are good willed.
 

rosada

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4. He has invited you without considering whether this has any far reaching implications for your relationship.
55.-16. Sounds like a good party.
15. If you decide not to go you should opt out without making a big deal about it.

So, you've been invited to a fun party but you are under no obligation to go.

Personally I think you should go because you've already said yes and because I think if you don't go that will make a statement about your relationship that you might not want to make - although the IChing seems to say you could bow out without creating a scene. I wonder if you could go in separate cars? That way you have honored your ties with the family but wouldn't have to fake some show of togetherness you're not into right now.
I hope you'll let us know how it plays out!

Rosada
 

rosada

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Thinking about 15..
The trigrams for 15 are Mountain under Earth. It suggests restraint - mountain - and something that covers it = earth. So I get the sense of something that is there, conscious, but is so silent as to be almost undetectable. Thus a person getting 15 might be being advised to be so quiet that they are able to observe everything without their presence being felt. Like, keeping one's one ego quirks so under control that the person can fit in anywhere. I got 15 when I asked the I Ching for a comment when my sister died. It seemed to be telling me that her consciousness was still here, I just couldn't see her. Another person with a bubbly personality asked for advice for a job interview. As it turned out, the people liked her but she wasn't the right fit for the team.
Perhaps she should not have been so out going. So that's why I think in your situation 15. is saying if you stay home, bow out gracefully - don't let your decision to not go be a Statement. In fact, if you decide not to go, I suggest you do it so smoothly so the others only thought of you is not, "What a grumpy person she is for snubbing us, " but simply, "Gosh, we missed you - hope you can make it next time."
 

vikk

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Thank you guys!

I will let you know how it plaid out.

I am very much reluctant to go - exactly how Watergoddess1 said too scared to get lost in the festivities and think that our spending time on Christams with his family means that our relationship are going back to normal. But I donot think they will. But at the same time i will hate being on christmas by myself knowing that i could be with him. I am torn. It is like it hurts not too be with him, but also hurts be there with him and knowing that it is not changing anything between us.
 

Grandma

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I just got 15 for my holiday plans also!
 
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vikk

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Hey everyone! Just wanted to give you an update!
I decided to go! So I'm with him right now and feeling very abundant! 55 really did kick in!!!
Wrapping presents, marinating pot roast, getting wine is very magical indeed! Or maybe it is the silent night silenced everything in me now!?
Anyways, I'll keep you posted on the "broken arm" state soon!!! Getting ready for that! Trying my hardest to keep 16 (be realistic) in mind!!!
Merry Christmas to you all!!!
Vikk
 

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