Dear Hillary,
Maybe you please want to help me.
After two readings I am in total doubt.
For the first time I feel good about a relationship.
One reader says I will get heaven with Ashraf and also he will make me a mother.
And the other one says we are purely platonic.
When I am tossing the I - Ching it only says good things.
Only this last time it suggested a splitting with Ashraf.
Maybe I am not objective.
I hope that you will have the time and the willing to toss for me please.
Thank you already for your time and effort for me.
My best wishes to you,
Elaine van Oeveren

Dear Elaine,

Can you remember the hexagram numbers of the answers the I Ching has already given you? If you can, please tell me, as I'd rather work with those than ask the same question twice. But not to worry if you can't.

Reading about your experiences so far, with the two different readers saying quite different things... perhaps this is because there is more than one future possibility for you and Ashraf? Perhaps it depends on what you both decide to create...?

Anyway, I look forward to interpreting the I Ching's answers for you soon!

Dear Hilary,
My reader tossed hexagram 19 for me.
And the other one was a tarot reading and she saw only confusion.
Also seeing me leaving Ashraf and all problems here in the house.
When I tossed I got twice Abundance 55# Feng.
Maybe you can help me with this.
Thank you very much for your effort already.
My best wishes to you.
Elaine

Dear Elaine,

Thank you for the hexagram numbers!

Hexagram 19 says there is something very powerful and significant in this relationship that is drawing closer to realisation. But the key words here are 'drawing closer': it hasn't arrived yet. You have to watch over its growth with your full attention, taking great care with the timing - and not try to act as if you'd already 'arrived' and everything were securely in place.

Hexagram 55 is a little more complicated. It's also a picture of managing something very strong and full of positive potential. In hexagram 54 (which you received before about this relationship, I think), you were plunged into a relationship that felt as if it could bring the promise of fulfilment, but where you really had no control at all. Part of the meaning of Hexagram 55 is that you are still in the midst of the confusion, an Abundance of opportunity, challenge, energy, pressure, questions, past issues... but that now you have to find a way to see through all this and reclaim some control.

The feeling of 'Abundance' is a strange one: this is right, and 'meant', but at the same time it can become very isolating, just you alone with the challenge of creating your own future. In I Ching history, this is the moment when King Wu had to cut short his mourning for his father Wen and accept the huge signs that he had something important to achieve in his own right (a whole dynasty to conquer, in fact), and now was the moment to do it.

In practice, I think this hexagram comes as advice to you to make a success of the relationship. The potential is there for you to use; now be like the king, take charge, and give your energies to making it happen - not to mourning the past or worrying about the future. The noble one 'cuts off litigation' - that is, she stops the inner arguments, makes her decision and sticks to it.

This may mean standing alone; it may mean going against custom and making your own rules. But when there are great things at stake, this could be the only way through. At the least, you will always know that you gave this everything, and didn't spoil your own chances out of nervousness.

One last thing I have to say: everything I've written is about Hexagram 55 as if you hadn't received any moving lines. If there were moving lines and a relating hexagram, then that could make for a rather different picture.

I hope this helps!

Dear Hillary,
Thank you very much.
Yes there were some moving lines.
The other psychic said that Ashraf and I were heading to a long termed relationship, but we had a lots of things to work through.
The other one with the tarot said that because of all lies and pain I had in the past I am easily satisfied by Ashraf.
Because he is giving me love which I never had.
But indeed the situation is so difficult.
Because he has no job/ papers and also a lot of guilt.
I fortunately have a job now and I will work very hard to make this a succes.
So I can take care of the guilt thing.
But first he needs to proove to me that he is a fighter also.
I cannot live with someone who is lazy or a looser.
So I want him to fight the battle with me and do something.
Yes indeed when I go with him I have to leave my parents, because they don't want muslim men here in the house.
They are not willing to talk to him and they will cut me completely. My father said I will only come to take you out of the gutter.
Also he accused me of being selffish after all(only financial things) they have done for me for 34 years.
So IF I choose for Ashraf I will be alone. So I hope he will be worth it when I choose for him.
I think the I- Ching is confirming the carefullness. I need to watch Ashraf fully to make this big step.
Thank you very much Hillary I think the I - Ching and you were right in this situation.
My warmest to you.
Elaine

Dear reader,
Can someone please help.
I took the I - Ching 44 Coming to meet with a changing line in the second place and the relating hexagramm 33. retreat.
I am under a lot of pressure because I am seeing a man who is not approaved by my parents.
They probably are going to throw me out of the house.
Or I think I will leave this week.
I cannot handle this stress anymore, but I am not going to give up on my man because of them.
I hope someone can please help me with these hexagramms thank you already very much.
Love Elaine

Dear reader,
Also I asked what will happen between Ashraf and me.
Because I am almost desperate. I am so afraid for loosing him. I got the 24.Fu/ Return with a change in the first place and the relating hexagram 2. K'un/ The Receptive. Does this mean Ashraf will stay with me?
I really hope I don't want to live without him.
I truly hope you want to help me with this.
Thank you very much for your effort.
Love Elaine

Hello Elaine, you sound really desperate and your situation sounds quite serious. If your family will disown you because of this man, yet you are not 100% sure you can rely on him, then I worry that it would not be so good for you to base your decision only on I Ching consultation. I certainly would not advise you on the hexagrams you threw, because quite simply I could be wrong. We can't be totally sure our interpretations are ever correct. Although I do consult the I Ching alot I have found that if I'm
very concerned over a serious issue, it is not good for me to keep asking, I only get confused.
Perhaps right now you just need to calm down, take a step back, try to get a bit of space alone
and just think. Weigh the evidence, maybe even write a list of pros and cons. You need to consider Ashrafs behaviour very carefully, think about how trustwothy he is, before you make a move
You stand to lose alot if you make the wrong decision, so give yourself a bit more time.

Dear Louise,
Thank you very much for this advice.
Yes I am about to loose a lot.
But I need to get out of this house, because I cannot breath in here anymore.
It is not because of only Ashraf, but I hate the controlling part of them.
Only Ashraf is causing the speed of deciding.
But thank you for the advice from the I- Ching.
Take care.
My best wishes to you.
Love Elaine