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Maybe the key to my inter-personal problems? Need suggestions please... 15.5->39

ragini

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Today, I asked the YI

Will inter-personal relationships in the future be more joyous and fulfilling than what I have experienced in the past, or will they remain the same? 15.5->39

I read this as there is an obstruction, and the neighbors are selfish (or maybe just that there is a disconnect), but the situation is not hopeless. There is work to be done, which will bear fruit.

I wasn't sure what that work is. A thread here (sorry I don't have the link right now) suggested going out and looking for people who I can connect with.

So I asked what I could do - what would be right effort for me? 52.1->22

This seems to suggest - don't go out in search of anything. I think it suggests cultivating my own inner stability, kind of being rooted so that circumstances or people cannot sway me and throw me off balance.

I think this is the key to my problems. I do get thrown off-balance very easily. It's as if I don't have a sense of 'self' which wants anything, and so I pretty much give my energy to other people very easily. This ends up in resentment and I end up behaving like 42.6 after becoming resentful.

It's nice to know - but I am still clueless about how I can develop this inner sense of self. I have started meditation and spiritual practice and maybe that's the answer. I'd really love some suggestions about how I can develop this inner sense which has clarity and is not swayed by circumstances or the reactions of others (especially after having many negative experiences that they have in a sense left me groundless).

I really need to do this - :stir: But how? :confused:

:bows:
 

ginnie

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Will inter-personal relationships in the future be more joyous and fulfilling than what I have experienced in the past, or will they remain the same? 15.5->39

This seems to imply that you need to learn how to stand up for yourself properly. A modest person needs to become assertive; never be a push-over.

what would be right effort for me? 52.1->22

It is saying to stop right now before you make a misstep. It's great that you are practicing meditation, and if I were you I'd keep right on with that!
 

ragini

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This seems to imply that you need to learn how to stand up for yourself properly. A modest person needs to become assertive; never be a push-over.


It is saying to stop right now before you make a misstep. It's great that you are practicing meditation, and if I were you I'd keep right on with that!

Thanks ginnie. I'll continue with meditation.

Standing up for myself without becoming unnecessarily aggressive is a hard one. I have too much wrong conditioning to deal with. Not even sure how to begin right now. Perhaps meditation will help.
 

moss elk

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So Ragini,

I don't know your history but, I know people fairly well.

You made a comment about having to become aggressive to stand up for yourself. Taking that and considering the readings, 'stilling yourself/staying home' and 'not enriched by those neighbors', makes me want to ask:

Have you fallen in with the wrong crowd of people?
(It surely happens)
I mean, are there certain people that you find yourself feeling the need to be aggressive around?

Let's say I wake up in the morning and meditate (using the term broadly and loosely) and find myself feeling calm, alert, and energized after. Then I take a walk in the park.
There are a group of toddlers having a play date and it is just joyful to sit and watch them for a while. (They make for pretty good neighbors)
After, I walk to the other side of the park and a vicious dog jumps out of the bushes and charges me. (This particular dog is not a good neighbor) I become energized and active, aggressive even, in order to defend my life. I may yell, or If there is a club laying around I may ward the dog off with it or run and climb a high fence to get away.

I dunno, am I off the mark here?
 

ragini

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So Ragini,

Have you fallen in with the wrong crowd of people?
(It surely happens)
I mean, are there certain people that you find yourself feeling the need to be aggressive around?

Hi Moss Elk,

I have in the past fallen in with the wrong crowd in the past (you are certainly not off-mark), but right now I am pretty much detached from all groups - detached more out of the need for self preservation. Unfortunately the wrong crowds have happened more often than the right ones, and well even the right one's have at least a few wrong kind of people :rant:. So my perspective is a bit skewed right now.

Maybe I need to heal for a while and then look out for the right kind of people.

Thanks :bows:
 

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