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42.1.5 to 23

greenegrets

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Hi all,

(Longtime lurker, first time-poster!)

I'm still really sad about a relationship that ended badly almost a year ago. I made it worse by mailing an accidentally angry, selfish and deeply personal letter two months afterwards in the angriest phase of mourning. He didn't acknowledge it, and then my grief over the whole thing got even worse. I tried apologizing in a goofy email a couple of months later, but nothing. I think it's pretty hopeless. I don't know how to move on, though I wonder if writing a decent apology and wishing him well is a good idea. He doesn't love me, or think of me, obviously.

My questions:

Will we get back together? (What the hell): 42.1.5 to 23

This has previously looked auspicious, but maybe it just means an increase in the existing split.

What'll happen if I send the apology?: 61.1.6 to 29

The truth will flow out.

What'll happen if I don't?: 55.4.5 to 63

This just sounds like moving on, that it's already over, that the abundance is elsewhere.

How does he feel about me?: 34.1.3 to 40

He's let go.

How will he feel if I send the apology? 5.2.6 to 37

Don't expect anything.

Go gold turkey and move on: 14.2.3.4 to 27

Sounds like I should, if I would just stop crying all the time...

Sorry, I know this is the most tedious question of all time. But i would really appreciate your help! :blush:
 
D

diamanda

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Hi greenegrets and welcome :)

Sorry to hear it's so painful and unfortunately I'll say that I think you're spot on in your interpretations.
I'll just add to them some extra notes that come to mind.

Will we get back together?: 42.1.5 to 23
You are a remarkable doer and kind person, but no (although it's not your fault).

What'll happen if I send the apology?: 61.1.6 to 29
Yes the truth will out, and 29 is not promising for a good outcome.

What'll happen if I don't?: 55.4.5 to 63
55.4 - you'll be with him in your thoughts? or, you'll meet someone else?
55.5 - finally the light will return in your life
Hidden line 36.5 and resulting 63 are very promising that your 'prison' will end.

How does he feel about me?: 34.1.3 to 40
He stalls and plays games then finally splits. Does this sound like him?

How will he feel if I send the apology? 5.2.6 to 37

He will not answer, then he will attend to guests and family - sound like he's with someone new :-/

Go gold turkey and move on: 14.2.3.4 to 27
Amazing how, for such a question, 14.2 speaks exactly about moving on, moving all your 'valuables' elsewhere. I think this question and answer have the most substance here. The overall feel is you go from "having a lot" (14) to "having nothing and being hungry" (27). I guess it just describes the cold turkey phase. Or, seen another way:
14.2 - move on, move to another place
14.3 - offer what you have to someone who deserves it
14.4 - in another place, not where you are right now
27 - heed your hunger - where there is hunger there needs to be food, look for someone else, a replacement to ease the craving of cold turkey

I really feel for you, I've been where you are, a long time ago, and it was pure hell. But, guess what. It finally ended, and now it feels like a bad dream. Fingers crossed for you for a swift recovery!
 

greenegrets

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Thanks for this - I didn't respond because it was so painful, all those years ago. I did send the letter, maybe six months later - I'm glad I did it for my own peace and because I wanted to try to tell him what I felt, whatever his response. He never replied, but that helped me to let go for good.
 
D

diamanda

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Thanks for updating the thread! I'm glad to hear that this situation is well behind you now.
 

Lavalamp

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I tell my sons that we all have things inside us we don't know are there. They only come out in our relationships with other people, and when you are young it can be surprising and you may not not like everything you see in yourself, So we need to be gentle with each other, go slow, be forgiving because it takes time to learn about what from the past we are carrying, and takes time to change what we do not like about ourselves.
It is very important to teach young people to be kind to others - and to themselves - I think.

- LL
 

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