Ow ow ow, just got burnt.

So over the course of this connection I did various castings and I'd like to look back at them, because they set none of the alarm bells off that should have been ringing!!??

Here's the summary.

It's been a very long time since I've really taken a shine to someone, but I recently really did.
When this guy came into my life, I was really determined not to make the mistakes of the past, not rush, feel my fears as they arose, connect through talking, smiling and not get physically or emotionally involved til I felt the other person wasn't just playing games. And til I figured out if they were a person of good character. All things I'd never had the self-confidence to do in the past.

So I was trying not to run away and yet not run into it. It all seemed to be going so well, each time our connection seemed more fun and more in depth, then he turns up to our group of friends with a woman! The intentions on both sides were clear. It was very much in my face. I'm pretty devastated, I feel used and shocked at his lack of sensitivity. Have I dodged a bullet? Or did he misread me?
but it's so v v v v disappointing and hurtful to be treated with such casual lack of care. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing that to him. Maybe he just wants to bed someone quick and can't control himself enough to think about others feelings.

Here are the readings I cast over the course of about two months:

What is the energy here in terms of romance? 52uc
What does he want from me if anything? 52.1.4-30
(I also got 64.1-38 for same question which seems a similar message)
He keeps flirting - What's my best attitude? 27.6-24
Show me a picture of my energies in relation to him..12.4-20
His energies in relation to me? 5.3.5-19
Best attitude 27uc
How does he see me? 36.1-15

What's he trying to tell me by sharing all about his last relationship & life when I didn't ask? 43.1-28
What's my best attitude now? 11.1.2.3-2

And now this sudden turn of events:
What does this say about his real character? 23.5-20
So what was it all about his flirting with me, his getting close to me, did it mean nothing? 56.1-30

I had really horrible dreams last night, I needed to take medication and would die in 24 hours if I didn't, I tried to lock myself into a room to take it, but the door had been wrecked by a burglary. Then a woman was removing worms from my head in an effort to heal me. uch:

Hi Lodestar,

Sorry to hear it turned out this way.

You put in your best effort, and waited to see if this guy is worth it.
Sadly, here is your anwer: he's not the type you're looking for.
From your readings, the guy is a womaniser.
He wants you, but does not want an exclusive steady relationship with you.

It's a large number of questions, so I'll write my opinion on each briefly.

What is the energy here in terms of romance? 52uc
This can mean both stability, and stubbornness. The pattern of it will persist.
None of the two parties will change their point of view.

What does he want from me if anything? 52.1.4-30
No moves, trying to be calm, looking after yourself. He wants you to wait.

I also got 64.1-38 for same question which seems a similar message
Sex, then nothing. So the answer above meant 'wait for your turn', I believe :-/

He keeps flirting - What's my best attitude? 27.6-24
You are the wanted/fancied one (by him), so be easy-going.

Show me a picture of my energies in relation to him..12.4-20
You feel he's your destiny, you look up to him/admire him.

His energies in relation to me? 5.3.5-19
He's seeing others while waiting, eventually he will approach you.

Best attitude 27uc
Hunger is a basic need which compels us to eat. You probably can't resist him.

How does he see me? 36.1-15
He knows you're hurt (by the other woman?) and he knows you're truthful.

What's he trying to tell me by sharing all about his last relationship & life
when I didn't ask? 43.1-28
He's trying to convey the idea to you that he feels he made mistakes in the past.

What's my best attitude now? 11.1.2.3-2
There isn't much on offer, but go along with it anyway.

And now this sudden turn of events:
What does this say about his real character? 23.5-20
He's a womaniser. I've seen this line to mean exactly this many times.

So what was it all about his flirting with me, his getting close to me,
did it mean nothing? 56.1-30
His motive was not strong/solid enough, he's egocentric.

a woman was removing worms from my head in an effort to heal me

Click to expand...

What a nice message from your soul!
It was all in your head, you didn't see the situation clearly.
Please don't take this experience too seriously, emotions will pass just let them.

I was really surprised to see this answer after reading your story.
What is the energy here in terms of romance? 52uc
None! Its heavy, dense, un-moving mountain. A hex about stillness and meditation, one doesn't even feel his own body.

What does he want from me if anything? 52.1.4 - 30
Just a peace of mind, nothing much ('to bed someone quick' (30, fire that quickly burns wood) ), again 52.

I also got 64.1-38 for same question which seems a similar message
I agree with Diamanda here: Sex, then nothing (38 Opposites).

Show me a picture of my energies in relation to him. 12.4 - 20
Your ideals and thoughts are higher, closer to heaven. Maybe that's what is attracting him.

His energies in relation to me? 5.3.5 - 19
You are stuck in his muddy waters (.3), while there is a feast going on (.5) which you could attend to.

--
He keeps flirting - What's my best attitude? 27.6-24
Realize that you are the source of nourishment for yourself, and for him.
An Yi advises to return to yourself, break up with him.

Best attitude 27uc
Again, watch what you feed yourself with. Do you really need this type of outer experience?
Be careful with 'the food', choose wisely.
--

How does he see me? 36.1 - 15
Hmm, as someone who is tired and doesn't require much energy to pursue, and a good person.

What's he trying to tell me by sharing all about his last relationship & life
when I didn't ask? 43.1-28
He hasn't let go of his past yet. He is not ready for a new connection

What's my best attitude now? 11.1.2.3-2
11.1 → 46.2 → 15.3 → 2 Richmond:
11.1. When grass is pulled up earth comes up with it. Going forward brings good fortune.
Following our circumstances willingly is always good fortune.

46.2. Genuine involvement in the sacrifice. No error.

15.3. The superior man of established merit brings things to conclusion. Good fortune.
This action completes itself and leaves no karma, no part of it attached to the personal self.

You saw the upside (grass) now look at the downside (earth). Accept this (46) and move on(15). Thank this man for the lesson and forgive yourself for 'making a mistake'.


So what was it all about his flirting with me, his getting close to me,
did it mean nothing? 56.1-30
56.1 Yes, just a one night stand. And 30 Fire again.
But also it was a lesson for you to be more careful and not get too attached quickly.

Wilhelm 56.1:
The humbler and more defenseless his outward position, the more should he preserve his inner dignity. For a
stranger is mistaken if he hopes to find a friendly reception through lending himself to jokes and buffoonery. The result will be only contempt and insulting treatment.

Thank-you both so much for your support and feedback on my readings. It's incredibly helpful.

I've had this experience a million times and each time it's been utterly devastating. It's something very deep in me. People see me a mile off, now at last im starting to see them.

I've theorised and understood the dynamic intellectually for years, but when it's in your bones you've got to live out the learning, because the repetition just keeps on..


52 was not very illuminating to me at the time. But as a conscious goal of mine is integrating my errant psychic energies, and the masculine/feminine aspects of myself - in that context it makes sense. (rather than achieving a romantic goal - though that was my query?) I see it now as awareness, listening to, seeing and responding to the present - taking my desire and will out of the picture so I can see. Ashteroid your interpretation of the 11 hex really seems to resonate with that. Definitely this was a casting off of an old old karmic pattern. However I surely won't be thanking him! :demon: I learnt my lesson but not through any act of goodwill on his part, I'll thank the heavens but not him. Though I get your point and I love your highlighting of 'making a mistake'

Meanwhile another suitor has popped up out of the blue and I've a date next week! Bizarre. This guy seems totally solid, mature, direct, very open and very clear. I guess that's how energy works

Actually I would love input on one more thing in relation to this!

I really struggle with the concept of manifesting our reality.

If I was more positive, more assertive, more 'go for it' - would I have manifested a different experience?

Or - does the manifest experience already contain it's own nature?
And my job is simply to discover and accept? I don't believe positivity can over-ride the unconscious..only mildly influence it over time.

My current stance on it, is that yes conscious positivity can influence to a degree but most effectively when directed towards the self and not towards willing a situation into being. Ultimately it is only an influence and it is the unconscious that has the most power. 'Positivity' as a stance is too active - Receptivity is needed to see. In retrospect I have got myself into all sorts of trouble by 'being positive'

Any thoughts?

Sometimes I'm left with a terrible feeling of responsibility and failure, that if only I was more positive, the other person would behave/treat me totally differently.

I'll ask Yi, would the nature of this dynamic have been different if I had been more 'positive' ?

(..or does the dynamic have a larger more powerful meaning that is not really changed in any fundamental way by positive thinking, you either choose it or walk away, you don't change it.)


61.1.2.5-23 inner truth - stripping away

.5 Lise - Who is true also recognises truth in others. He can make a real and deep contact and avoid all harmful and needless influences.

Emmm

On the flip side, just reading 47.1 related to a separate question and of course negativity can be blinding too. Both negativity and positivity - as neither are 'seeing'.

We must firmly resist doubt and hopelessness to restore open-mindedness


But what are we seeing - our beliefs? But a belief isn't inaccurate - it's your emotional truth how life keeps presenting itself to you.

I guess I believe there is a truth beyond belief.. then it's touching on deeper energies not constructs of the mind, soul truth, archetypal truths

Would anyone like to contribute their perspective?
:bows:

Would the nature of this dynamic have been different if I had been more 'positive' ?
61.1.2.5-23 inner truth - stripping away

All of the lines speak about unity of purpose and will, Wilhelm:
1. The more reliance he places on the support of others, the more uneasy and anxious he will become as to
whether these secret ties are really tenable.

2. Where there is a joyous mood, there a comrade will appear to share a glass of wine.

This is the echo awakened in men through spiritual attraction. Whenever a feeling is voiced with truth and frankness, whenever a deed is the clear expression of sentiment, a mysterious and far-reaching influence is exerted.

5. ... the ruler who holds all elements together by the power of his personality.
Only when the strength of his character is so ample that he can influence all who are subject to him, is he as he needs to be. The power of suggestion must emanate from the ruler.

The law of sum of forces works inside you and also outside in the world. All the people have free will, and they must not contradict each other.
All the parts of you, all the facets of your soul must be aligned too. (Here are these doubts and fears etc.)
If you are whole and united inside, your intention is great and sincere. And if it doesn't contradict other person's will - it will happen.

You can read more about practical examples in books by Florence Scovel Shinn, e.g. "Your Word is Your Wand".

"I GIVE UNTO YOU POWER" Luke 10 : 19

God's gift to man is power; power and dominion over all created things; his mind, his body, and affairs. All unhappiness comes from lack of power. Man imagines himself weak and the victim of circumstances, claiming that "Conditions over which he had no control" caused his defeat. Man by himself, is indeed, a victim of circumstances; but linked with God-power all things are possible.

Through a knowledge of metaphysics we are discovering how this can be done. By your word you contact this power. Then, miraculously, every burden is lifted and every battle is won. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Watch your words with all diligence. You are continually reaping the fruits of your words. And he that overcometh and keepeth my works to the end, to him will I give power and dominion over the nations." Overcoming means to conquer all doubts, fears and negative vibrations. One man with perfect peace and perfect poise, filled with love and good-will, could dissolve all negative.


You need to stop limiting yourself and remember that you are a leaf on a branch, but that branch is also you, and that tree is also you, and the Earth that this tree grows from is also you.
Here Earth = God = Universe = All of our souls united = Power.
Remember that you are not just a leaf but also a part of this whole, that will allow you to use and direct that power, which the leaf by itself doesn't have.

would the nature of this dynamic have been different if I had been more 'positive' ?
61.1.2.5-23 inner truth - stripping away
Someone cunning, someone in love, someone honest, and the whole thing collapses.
I'm guessing here he was the cunning one, and you the loving honest one, by how you sound.
No matter how 'positive' you would be, a cunning/womaniser is a cunning/womaniser.
I've known a few, and they simply don't change for no-bo-dy, no matter how great/confident the lady.


My perspective on this whole 'positivity' theory changed many years ago, mainly by these 3 factors:

1) I kept noticing, just like you did, that being 'positive' not only had no effect, but it actually got me into trouble quite a few times.

2) I read in a book (sorry can't remember which) that if we expect justice from life, we will go through our lives being eternally disappointed, simply because there isn't justice in life. Meaning that, if we are positive, and then we feel entitled to a good outcome... well, guess what, positivity simply doesn't guarantee anything.

3) The most remarkable thing I've ever read on this subject was this:
… At first, my method/attitude/evaluation with others was to listen to what they said, and expect them to act accordingly.
Now my method with others is to listen to what they say, and then observe what they do.
(Confucius, Analects 5:9)


My conclusion is that it's of no substantial use to be positive or negative.
Much better to be realistic and observant - this gives us neutrality, and thus better judgement.

And to summarise it even further, with a cliche, which is strangely very true:

May I have the energy to change the things that can be changed,
the strength to accept the things that can't be changed,
and the wisdom to know which is which.

Once again - thank you both sincerely for your time and feedback.

Ashteroid, what I get from what you say is that my core energies of my doubts and fears (as opposed to positive/negative thinking which can be transient) influence situations and influence the people I'm attracted into relationship with. Of course my outside world is where I can encounter all the fears I can ignore when on my own. It's the great testing ground. My core energies become visible to me and they talk back to me 'all the world is a stage' indeed. Yet getting to that point of faith, self-worth and self-love believing we deserve to be here at all, is a long road for many of us. But I am making progress :hugs:

Diamanda I'm with you in the whole positivity/negativity thing... I see them as a sort of mental will-power, but if I nourish myself and act rather than think my way along.. I get much better results.

Now I'm feeling not angry at all, even a little excited that I could travel through such a traditionally 'loaded' area for me and recover so incredibly quickly. It got me thinking about Ashteroid saying to thank him for the lesson and I thought - yes - and if I am learning one thing from this he is learning another.

What was this experience teaching me about myself?
52.6-15
Acceptance of self
The individual has the entire thought process under control, including input from the unconscious
You can penetrate the true meaning of things from your inner stillness
When you can look beyond Maya illusion, u find your strength and truth

What is X learning about himself through swopping to this new connection?
3.1.3-39
The person who is guided by his own ego is limited to self knowledge in the conscious realm, beyond this terrain yields himself blindly to urges of the unconscious.

If I have these right, it's certainly comforting and does seem to tie in with the readings that have gone before and the work I've been putting in to meditation and conscious choices.

I was saying that you can manifest anything you want if you remember that you have the power (you are part of god) and you have a strong will to direct it. Being positive can produce real results, but you have to be positive on all levels of your soul. Inner fear can negate any wish of the mind.

Concerning that particular person, yes you are working out your karma, your fears, accumulated probably from previous lives. And you are doing a good job

Some inspiring words from a higher soul ('J' under hypnosis) ( Dolores Cannon 'D', The Convoluted Universe 3 pg.537):

J: And again we come back to the importance of the individual doing meditation and strengthening their body as much as possible – eating good foods and feeding their minds, and being with people of good heart and good vibration.

Janet’s karma is to overcome the trauma of what people did to her in other lives, face it again and come out the other side better to survive it. Many times, that’s what karma is.
If you’ll notice, there’s a pattern. It’s not always one doing to the other and then the return. It is facing up to the same tyrant and saying, “This time you will not crush me.”
And it’s not about a power struggle. It’s about the growth within the person overcoming the fear, which is tremendous because the death was sometimes horrendous. And then there are multiple emotions about authority and power and who’s in charge, and abuse and corruption. All those are rolled into one, and it’s overcoming that. And of course, the body and the emotions and the mind can only handle so much at a time, or it’s damaging. So the person has to face all those again,and come through it and be different than just oppressed again or harmed again in the same way.
This is why many people may have 20 or 30 lifetimes, and they have the same issue over and over and over again. It’s because it’s the same fear-based issue, or it’s the same lack of trust that’s been created, and they have to work at overcoming that because it was such a traumatic thing.

D: And it must be worked out before they can progress further.
J: Because that’s where their abilities are, yes. And so they are suppressing a part of themselves. We murder people with our words. We can harm people on so many levels. There’s a violence when you condemn somebody or make fun of somebody. That’s a form of violence. The Master has to
keep growing. But they have to be in a body that can handle these energies, and you have to build that body.
And that’s why we’re trying to get the message out to people who want to be healed. You have to help build the vehicle that allows it to be healed. That’s meditation work, and taking care of
yourself, and watching your environment. And how you speak and how you act and how you talk and who you’re around – all those things have an effect. But your work is to watch the body, and meditate and take care of the body. It’s all levels, levels and levels and levels and levels. We have levels of fear. So you’re working through all these levels of emotional issues and struggling through them. And as a spiritual student, you invite those. She has done things that have intentionally brought on many of the things she’s dealing with because she wanted to clear them. She is really pushing for soul growth this lifetime.

D: I know we bring things into our life that we fear so we can confront them.
J: Exactly. But then we’re not happy when we do it. (Laugh)
We want to blame somebody else. And so her soul path is, once she gets started, like with meditation, you can’t stop. And if you stop, you get stuck because you want to keep growing and clear these issues.

pg. 540
J: This is where you, as a planet, awaken out of the dream of thinking you’re alone.
That you’re all that is. Your Earth is evolving. You are all evolving. All eyes are on Earth right now, anyway. This is the big one. Many fought to be here. Even children that come in, even for hours. You’ll all carry that, the badge of having been here.

D: Even for a few hours?
J: Absolutely. To have been on this planet at a time of this kind of evolution. No planet has ever quite evolved this way before, this uniquely. If you were going to have the option to carry the identification of having been on a planet that will be known through the multiverse, even if you can be here for a
few hours, that you could say, “I was on Earth at the time of evolution.” Why not?

D: Is this what I call the new Earth? (Yes) That there will be an old and a new, and then a separation. (Yes.)

Thank-you Ashteroid - being positive on all levels of the soul.. well that's the big ask
But that's so true - a harmony within is essential for anything to manifest.
The body in health and harmony, a core part of that.

Oh but the pain of going through the 'clear out' - I've suffered a lot physically this year and wonder when I'll get my health back. It's definitely of an emotional cause and certainly brought me on a journey of re-prioritising and having to live week to week, moment to moment. Ask for help from a higher source.

The thing you've mentioned that most effects me is about 'power, who's in charge, abuse, corruption' facing them again and saying this time you 'will not crush me' - but that being about growth and not a power struggle. Pretty much sums up my journey..