This is my first visit, so first I'd like to say hi to everyone on here. I have been friends with the IChing for a long time but there are occasional readings that throw me. Especially where one hex is negative and a seemingly positive (opposite) appears in the lines. I recently chatted with and met a lady. We were on an adult site. The place where one might meet for sexy fun. I asked two questions initially but thought they were a bit vague.

So I asked another. Would there ever be a real world sexual relationship between me and X.

I chatted and had some fun on cam with this lady, who was so keen to meet me that I had her begging. We met after 2 and a half months of chat/cam but she then said I wasn't the one. However, we still keep in touch but the online relationship is stagnant, although she does flirt with me every now and then. It's less often now but she's an extremely busy lady - so that's not surprising, given what I know about her -and I do know quite a lot.

The reading came back as 23, with a moving line at 5, the hexagram then changing to 20.

23 Seems bad. About a situation coming to an end. And yet line 5 seems to indicate a sudden change to what seems the opposite. Sarah Denning's interpretation says ' An unfavourable situation is now beginning to change for the better. Those who have been at odds with each other decide to co-operate for their mutual benefit. Success is now possible.

I use The Everyday IChing by Sarah Denning, as it's easy to understand, and The Pocket IChing (The Richard Wilhelm Translation). I also always read the various interpretations online as well. To help me get an accurate overview.

Could anyone shed light on this for me, especially in regard to the moving line. I'm quite thrown by it and it doesn't seem to make sense. And more importantly, does it suggest that she may be changing her mind it relation to the question I asked?

Thanks in advance. Any help with this will be really appreciated.

Your motive is not right. You have underhanded thoughts regarding a relationship with a woman.
23 is one of the worst hexagrams, especially for relationship indeed. Line 5 is good in a sense of old chinese context, where the king is surrounded by concubines (fishes). In a serious relationship, I don't think this is a good line. In chinese proverb: "catching fishes with two hands" meaning flirting with 2 people at the same times. Be careful as you might not be the only one she's talking to on that adult site, she's looking for "the one" among men, thus the image of "shoal of fishes", and you could be just one of them.
20 is contemplating, which could depict her choosing among the fishes that she hooked.

Thanks for your insight altair139. I know as much that she's flirting with others to find the right one. That often happens on these sites, as of course we all want to find the best of the bunch. My thoughts re moving line 5 were that she might re-consider, or be reconsidering, if she eventually realises/deems me to be the best of the catch(fishes). I take on board your warning and have been aware of it.

May I invite other members to share their comments with me regarding this hexagram.

It's finished with her and she's contemplating hooking up with someone else.

Thanks Cornucopia63 for your valuable insight.

I take it line 5 doesn't relate to me and her in the context of the question. Would that be right? That it's talking about others - not me when it says 'An unfavourable situation is now beginning to change for the better. Those who have been at odds with each other decide to co-operate for their mutual benefit. Success is now possible'. I took 'those who have been at odds' to mean me and her. Me being interested and her not right now. With a possible change of heart being the import/implication of moving line 5.

May I invite other members to share their comments with me regarding this hexagram and in particular the ruling line.

Hi LuckyGuy,

Sorry but I'll have to agree with the other posters.

You quoted this text:
'An unfavourable situation is now beginning to change for the better. Those who have been at odds with each other decide to co-operate for their mutual benefit. Success is now possible'

Please keep in mind that this text is NOT the I Ching text for this line.
This text is just a commentary, i.e. this is how the writer subjectively interprets the line.
It's much more helpful to read the original I Ching text, and see what images it evokes.
This is what the original text of the line more or less says:

23.5
Take string fish, palace person favour. Nothing not favourable.

As altair139 pointed out, the image of "many fishes" can mean many partners (eg 'plenty more fish').
With the result of 20, viewing, one has a lot of partners to look at and choose from.
So, as Cornucopia63 pointed out, she's already looking elsewhere.
The answer does not mention a one-to-one real sexual encounter.

What we don't know is if you are one of the ones she's viewing.
But, since she's already told you you're not the one, it's logical to deduce she's after others.

Well... she bluntly told you that "you aren't the one"... that's pretty clear. 23.5 is reflecting on what happened and asking to accept it. I think 20 is asking you to contemplate WHAT exactly lead to that decision.

It seems that the physical meeting was a deal breaker. Unfortunately, internet based relationships allow one to build a fantasy about the other person and also to play up to your partner's fantasies. Chemistry over Skype is very different to chemistry in reality.

I've been in this situation. Where the guy seemed confident, sexy, etc. online. The second I met him in reality, it was like meeting a completely different person. Not someone I'd be attracted to if we met in a club.

Hello, This line is showing your present state of mind and what you hope to achieve. It's not an actual happening. Hexagram 20 is advising you to look at the whole picture from a higher standpoint. You are at the stage of thoughtful preparation for an important move. Contemplate it very carefully and what it involves first. Listen and learn. That is the key to your current situation. You are only viewing her from a distance through a computer screen. This is hexgram 20. Viewing from a distance without involvement.

LuckyGuy said:

Thanks Cornucopia63 for your valuable insight.

I take it line 5 doesn't relate to me and her in the context of the question. Would that be right? That it's talking about others - not me when it says 'An unfavourable situation is now beginning to change for the better. Those who have been at odds with each other decide to co-operate for their mutual benefit. Success is now possible'. I took 'those who have been at odds' to mean me and her. Me being interested and her not right now. With a possible change of heart being the import/implication of moving line 5.

May I invite other members to share their comments with me regarding this hexagram and in particular the ruling line.

Click to expand...

Thanks MoonCatcher and all who have contributed to the interpretation of my hexagrams. I have a clearer view now. I think it's time to go with the flow. If line 5 has any import indeed of an actual/literal change, then I'm sure I'll be the first to know. If it does, I will of course post it here. For the moment though, I will take a step back and take time to ponder what's happened, and try learn from it. Thanks again everyone!

I find Nigel Richmond's commentary useful for emotional and relationship readings, 23.5:

A string of fishes. Favour alike to being at court.
All is advantageous.

Fish are often used to symbolize our identifications (which nourish identity) in the uncharted waters of the whole reality. Here is a string of fishes, on a common thread and the fish are caught, so our identifications threaded together are captured.
A court is where the ruler is ruling, and the ruler of identity is the identifying process, so here this act of catching identifications brings favour and advantage in every way.

In this tao our identifying leads us astray and our intuitive feeling which is the basis of our identifying is rejected by our inner being. Here our identity gives up following the feeling, seeing it as being in error.

Give up your false feelings, the desire and then you will be able to listen to your soul/pure heart. And that will bring happiness. Heart and desire are at a conflict now, that's what Sarah Denning's text was meant to say I guess.

And thanks to diamander (apologies for not mentioning you earlier) and Nigel as well for the additional insights.

How did this story end?

Thanks for prompting me black milk. The story ended with me not being 'the one'. The fishes interpretation was correct. She was chatting to other men at the same time as me. But I wasn't really for her. I took other readings about this question/relationship and was reprimanded by the I Ching on two occasions. However. On the second, the I Ching did say that if I actually met this person I could learn a great deal. I did actually meet this lady and learned that she was more interested in physical attraction than anything else. Which makes sense in relation to my question. Thanks to every contributor on here! Helping me make sense of the situation put my my mind to rest.