Since this weekend my partner and I have been going through a very rough patch. I feel somewhat blindsided by him as this all seemed to come out of nowhere for me--I can see the sources of his upset feelings, but to me it seems that his reaction is quite disproportionate and that he is not seeing the entirety of the situation, only the negatives.

He has said that he thinks he wants to break up with me, but is considering not breaking up with me as well. In the mean time, he does not want to interact as a couple and wants me to leave him be while he thinks, and he does not know how long this will take. This is quite difficult for me as we live together and like I said, I feel blindsided, like I was never given a chance to address the issues he is now bringing up.

I have been conversing with the Yi Ching about this. I did one reading in which I asked what the situation will be if on Friday I ask him how he is doing in regards to this, and I got 5.2.3 > 3. 5.2.3 seems to encourage waiting through this "purgatory," and advises against anxiety pushing me into action prematurely, so perhaps I won't ask on Friday. Yet I am unsure how 3 comes in. It also appeared as the transformed hexagram in another reading I did about this. Could this be a new beginning for us as a couple or a beginning of another stage in our individual lives?

I wasn't sure how to interpret the repeated 3, so I decided to ask a slightly different question. I asked what our relationship will be like if I do give him the time he needs to think and if I do not interfere. I received 55.5 > 49. I am also confused on how to interpret this in terms of a relationship.

55 seems to suggest that our relationship will be "abundant" but for a short period of time. I am not sure what abundance means in this case. Could this mean that we will stay together for the moment, but that it will be only short term? This would not surprise me, as we decided that our intention for living together this year was to see if we should do long distance when he leaves for graduate school in the summer, or break up when he leaves and not attempt long distance.

I am not sure what line five specifically means in this case. It seems generally positive but beyond that I'm a bit lost.

I'm also confused about what 49 means in the context of our relationship. It seems to indicate a transformation, but I could see this meaning either transformation in terms of a break up or transformation within the relationship. I am having a hard time relating it to the previous hexagram, which I feel could point me in one of those directions.

Any thoughts? I'm not yet that skilled at using the Yi Ching and this is obviously an emotional subject for me, so it is hard to intuit meanings at the moment.

5.2.3 > 3

Yes, I think you seem to have grasped the essentials here. H.5 shows that waiting it out might be what's required with "difficulty at the Beginning" as your background hexagram - things aren't decided yet. Space is needed.

Line 2: Let things be for now and respect his space.

Line 3: Lots of emotion boiling beneath the surface so don't do anything that may lead to a confrontation at this time as things could go from bad to worse.

Overall, though there is no indication that this can't be worked out - or at least a place can be found where an arrangement can be made that is best for both of you. Either way, a transformation is on the way if you can allow it to emerge without interference. This appears to be confirmed by 55.5>49 where a preferably a joint command decision is made leading to some type of transformation in your relationship. This line is auspicious for eventual clarity and resolution of this limbo state.

Whenever I've had this line it has always been a welcome stage after some struggle where some kind of promotion or reward is in the offing. This can be an expansion of awareness or a tangible meeting of minds. It's almost like a test in some situations - do you have what it takes to get to this point? So, there's reason not to get caught up in anxiety: "Be not sad. Be like the sun at midday." To me, it's an overwhelming confirmation of your intuition in that you do indeed need to give him that time for both your sakes. It's a difficult thing for sure, but this will benefit you both I think.

hypnogogick said:

Could this be a new beginning for us as a couple or a beginning of another stage in our individual lives? [...]
I'm also confused about what 49 means in the context of our relationship. It seems to indicate a transformation, but I could see this meaning either transformation in terms of a break up or transformation within the relationship. I am having a hard time relating it to the previous hexagram, which I feel could point me in one of those directions.

Click to expand...

You are quite right 49 does suggest a metamorphosis into something else entirely which could go either way but could mean a positive outcome for both of you regardless. In other words, a parting of the ways or a break which would allow you to be more yourselves. Alternatively, this could indeed mark the beginning of a greater sensitivity towards each other and moving the relationship to a higher level of understanding. Judging from the advice of H.5 I think it probably means the latter. So, if you play it carefully during this tense and delicate time you can receive the gold medal of 55.5>49 and take your relationship to that higher level of awareness thereby creating a stronger bond between you both.

Others may have a different take, but I wish you all the best. Keep us informed how it goes.

(P.S. Your "Hypnogogick" monkier is a strange one. I hope you don't have any odd problems sleeping....)

Thank you so much, topal! I really appreciate you taking the time to look this over for me. I was wondering if my desires about the situation were interfering with my interpretation, but it is quite a relief that you also find that there is at least some possibility of reconciliation.

I actually decided to run this by the tarot as well (a medium I find easier to interpret, if not as enlightening), and received similar advice: to step back, trust the foundations we have built thus far, and create a safe atmosphere.

And yes--I actually do sometimes have hypnagogic hallucinations/sleep paralysis experiences, but oddly enough, they are never threatening! I actually have some funny stories of things that I have thought I overheard people in the house saying.

I just wanted to follow up briefly since topal was kind enough to help me with this reading, and also in case anyone searching the forums in the future finds it helpful.

After about a week of giving my partner his space, we were able to find an equilibrium, reach a better understanding of ourselves and the relationship, and come back together as a couple.

In retrospect, I can see 49 pointing to not only a transformation in our relationship but also an inner transformation, as this experience has renewed my motivation to focus on self care and my spiritual path.