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55.4 changing to 36 relationship please help

Osenia

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Hello there,

I am quite new to I ching and my head sometimes doesn't seem to get round an interpretation relevant to the situation so maybe you could help me a little bit more to see into the readings.

To put the long story short I have been involved in a relationship with my current flatmate. Yet we have recently split up and now he is away. The reason for the break-up was mainly him not being ready for relationship and the complication with us being flatmates and good friends. It is not the first time that we have a conversation and decide to end things (mainly initiated by him) and then get back together as the attraction to each other is very strong. He said that he really likes me and was very sad to finish things, yet it is too complicated, he is not ready to commit. He is away now and I tried withholding myself from writing to him, but didn't succeed. After I said that maybe I was too serious about either carrying on a proper relationship or finishing it and that i missed him, he said that it is ok to be serious. He sounded like there was a hope again and he said that we will chat when he comes back properly. However, I am not sure if I can carry this 'in-between' state relationship as I am falling in love and I'm afraid to get hurt.

I have asked two questions
1. What shall I do to make our relationship last? I got 26, which I assume means that I just have to wait for things and don't take any impulsive actions. Just let him have a bit space...and by being patient I could get somewhere.

2. What shall I do to make this relationship work? SO here I got 55.4 changing to 36, which is very confusing for me as what advice shall I take from it..

I really hope that anyone could just give me a bit more insight into these readings related to the situation.

Thank you so so much!
 

Osenia

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Does 55.4 to 36 means that I should face my fears and darkness from previous relationships that are causing insecurities right now, focus upon myself to strengthen my self confidence etc. and trust that everything will work our eventually for the best? So confused.. But im not sure if I should take any actions as the hexagram 26 contradicts that
 

kincadefoster

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26. Holding firm. To me this says do not settle for anything less than what you really want.

55.4>36 Everything is in a state of abundance, but like the sun at midday won't stay so it changes to 36 protect your inner light

Maybe make him buy the cow to get the milk? Don't give in easily without at least making him prove he wants you as much as you want him I would say...
 

canislulu

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Marijan, I think kincadefoster's words may be helpful to you but thought it might help for me to also add another perspective.

Your questions seem based on an assumption that there is something you can do to control the situation. You can only hope to control your part of the equation. I think you are on target when you say:

focus upon myself to strengthen my self confidence etc. and trust that everything will work our eventually for the best?

I think this actually could be a description of advise for H 26 and I am not sure why you think H 26 contradicts it. Perhaps because it says "not eating at home, good fortune." But I think of "strengthening" self confidence as related to H 26 's advise to "accumulate de". Perhaps H 26 is telling you not to focus on the relationship for now but to focus on areas of life "outside the home" --- like your work in your world. Being solid in that may help you to have a lasting relationship. Perhaps you are already solid in your life outside the home; But to me H 26 says to develop yourself.

55.4 may indicate that there is something hidden in the situation. Perhaps the abundance will come when that is brought to light.
 

angelatlantis14

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Hi Marijan,

I quite agree with jumpingmouses take here. Both your questions presuppose that this relationship is fundamentally workable, and that by actions of yourself you can make them so.
For your first reading of Hex 26 I see it similar to jumpingmouse - it is really a statement about yourself, saying that you have great strength inside you. Not eating at home, crossing a river - that can be encouragement to think outside of the box, not focus yourself on the home situation with your friend.

Your second reading too, points into that direction, only it points out clearly that your inner strength is hidden right now:

"The curtain is of such fullness
That the polestars can be seen at noon.
He meets his ruler, who is of like kind.
Good fortune."

This I read as that the situation is right now so that you cannot see your own qualities - the rejection of your friend clouds your self-esteem. However, once you find your inner self-esteem back (the ruler of like mind) good fortune will follow. The changing Hex 36 says essentially the same thing, your inner light is hidden right now.

So based on your readings, take heart, don't hide your light in a relationship where the other person cannot see your qualities. Go out into the world, and look for someone better suited to you!

best wishes

maui
 

Osenia

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Oh guys thank you all so much for your answers! Jumpingmouse the reason why I thought that H 26 contradicts the idea of concentrating on the self is because I assumed it has to do with stillness and no action as opposed to any actions towards making the relationship last. It is kind of complicated situation as we both happen to go to the same work and the same university and as a cherry on the top - live together!

Funny you said that 55. 4 means there is something hidden because my friend has done tarot card reading for me yesterday and said that there is something I don't quite know , maybe another women or maybe not, but there is definitely something hidden to found out! Maybe I will bring this up next time and if we chat about this.

It seems from the other readings about H 55.4 that eventually everything will come out. Also, my intuition does say that I should focus on myself, no one is really attracted to a miserable grumpy person anyways haha

Anyways, thank you so much again! Will see how it goes - he is coming back tomorrow and we meant to chat, but not sure. Basically, I am not gonna rush into any drastic decisions and just take things a little easier, give both myself and him some space and maybe eventually it will work.
 

Osenia

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Help,If anyone still reads this thread maybe someone could advice me with the new reading in relation to the old ones? H55.4 to 36 and H26
So as these questions when why how and what spin in my head, I decided to ask a quite direct question

Will me and X going to get back together?
I got unchanging H64


The person got back home and we been having nice time around at home, yet I didn't have to guts to speak about our relationship. There still seems to be a spark and sort of flirting from both sides, but maybe I am just living in illusions. I am gathering my strenght to strike a conversation during the right time, but currently he is in a bit down mood, stressful and complicated position with university, new place, assessments, etc. So I am not sure if it is a good time at all.

So when I got H64 I assume the answer is to wait... In relation to the other hexagrams it seem to strengthen the point of focusing upon myself and he will come back when the time is right? Or should I make first moves as in start the conversation? the H64 seems to suggest that we could come back together, but I should not push it or make any rushed decisions otherwise the is a risk of everything ending badly?

Ufff just sharing my probably not such an exciting relationship story online, but I hope someone could throw me some advices :)
 

canislulu

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My advise would be to look at the Exploring Divination forum section and see if it gives you any more ideas about H 64 UC. What do you hear when you read about hexagram 64 in terms of what to do in a time of "not yet across?"

Perhaps Yi doesn't know if you will get back together or not. I think H 64 is just telling you what is happening. Either the "relationship" is really not completely across to being "split up" or you are not yet across to accepting that.

Sometimes it helps me to think about what Yi does not say. Yi did not say H 5. Perhaps if you asked Yi, "What is the next best step in this relationship?" Yi might tell you H 5 or something else.

Try asking Yi something about "How to proceed?"
 
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Osenia

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Thank you so much for your advice jumpingmouse, I have been reading similar interpretations on shared readings bit as well. I have also listened to your advice to toss the coins one more time with a question "what should be the next best step in this relationship?" and got 8.3.5 to 15, which, for me, in a way fits with other hexagrams that i got, that again implies inner strenght and maybe letting things go naturally, rather than imposing myself so much, imposing my pride or my emotions over other people (the person of question) to control the situation, the person feels quite low himself so I suppose what I can do is just support him and listen to him (what i assumed that H15 suggested as well). As understood changing line 5 suggests keeping close but having distance and so to say "air to breath". Maybe it is a very good advice. It is funny - I have never really used to look into the answers so much or believe that Iching could reflect the situation so well! Thank you all for your help!
 

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