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Trojina

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We can't just give 'a meaning' with no question especially since you asked the same question here at the end of this thread so this is about the same woman.


http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?22210-No-good-deed-goes-unpunished


Even without the I Ching it's clear this is not someone to seek a relationship with and I don't understand why you think you can :confused: She's a recovering alcoholic or aiming to be and frankly she will manage that a lot better without trying to sustain a relationship at this time. You can't expect much of her as her priority right now is her, not you, as you recently found out. Your first answer on that thread was a clear message to retreat from this. Your unwillingness to do so is shown in the 21 answer and the 24 answer I think.

If you want to be self sacrificial you can try to be her friend but nothing more as if you do it will surely backfire on you. She doesn't have it in her capability to treat you well at the moment so don't expect what she cannot give.

Your initial answers were clear

What now? 33 unchanging
My best course of action? 28.2.6 > 33

...and I think you got clear answers on that first thread. You need to retreat in order to save yourself...never mind her, Yi seems to be saying you need to look after you first and you aren't looking after you if you try to have a meaningful relationship, even as a friend, with an alcoholic. They choose drink over everything else so until she gets absolutely serious about not using alcohol then she cannot really be your friend. Her loss. Tough.

You give the impression that you are hanging on for her but how about you withdraw and let her hang on for you ? If she gets and remains sober and can be a good friend maybe you might treat her as a friend otherwise you just don't need this in your life and you quit with her. In some ways I see this as more of a self esteem issue on your part, that is your loss here more than her. If she wants you she needs to get and stay sober for you otherwise you really cannot afford this as 28.6 shows.

I think you are better to refuse helping her now if you have feelings for her. If she needs help then she will have to go to her female friends or male friends who don't have the feelings you have.
 
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Tim K

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21-26
Lines show eating meat that gets harder and drier, with 26 acting as a brake.
The older the meat - the more nasty surprises it contains, from poison to bone to metal.
'Stop eating this old stuff'

24-5
Here we see someone returning to his good old ways, although he has made a number of relapses, trying to do something 'bad/unnecessary'. In the end he understands the error of his ways and gladly gives up the idea.
h5 - enjoy what you have right now, eat/drink and be happy.

In light of Trojina's post I guess this is about some woman you are interested in, both readings say 'naah, forget it'.
 

Trojina

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It's not just 'some woman' it's the same woman in the thread I linked to which you answered over there, the one with the alcohol problem..
 

kincadefoster

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Sorry everybody I just wanted answers to the current situation.

Yes I told her to leave in a nice way as I cldn't help her. If she is angry w me all the time,(and somehow I have a way w her where she gets less angry w me than anyone else. Also I have a way of getting through to her when others don't, this is why she even went to rehab and had 120 days sober) then I can't really get through to her, so we both agreed she would be going to a halfway house and I was going to take her.

But then sh** hit the fan partly because of 3 deaths in her life that week and the fact she was already scared to do what she knew she had to and leaning on me for support, and she panicked and left, grabbed her stuff the next day saying she had another ride to the halfway house, hugged me a long time, we parted on good terms, then suddenly she blocked me from social networking, stopped talking to me and now Im at a loss...

And there is a lot more to this story but I'm not posting it on here

Oh and she didn't go...

For the record it was a few weeks ago we rekindled our friendship after a falling out. In the weeks before we ended up coming together again, I was thinking about her and if I cldve done anything differently and asked if our friendship could be rekindled and got 40.6>64
And after our first fight while she lived w me, this was before I started this thread I didn't know what to do and got 24.5>3 line 5 never feel inferior from having to return from an error and coupled with 3 I knew this meant that I did the right thing by becoming her friend again. She made up w me the next day. I think everything was right about us coming back together, but her choices f**ked it up...
I don't necessarily want answers for 40.6>64 or 24.5>3 I know what they meant I think...

Thank you for your time everybody...
 
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Sixth Relative

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Hi kinkadefoster

I agree with Tojina: you got pretty clear answers once and again; but you doesnt seem to accept them. Of course, that is your right but then why bother to ask? are you just looking for reasurance from the Yi?

I know you always picture yourself as helping her; but it seems like you are having a codependency issue here. Please, don't take offense; I honestly think that it would be better for you to discern about YOUR own feelings/needs that about her or about getting a relation with her. Codependency can be really hurtful for the one "caring for the needed".

Wish you the best
 

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