Long story short I've been estranged from my whole family for years - no contact, period.

My mother is the basis of the estrangement really. Anyway getting my piano yesterday has totally touched my soul, as it would, because music has been a big part of my life and my saving grace many times over.
Made me think well, despite all the not so nice things about my mother, at least she gave me the gift of music so to speak, making sure I got music lessons - although it was a very English thing to do back in her childhood, so she said at the time.

I'm thinking with mothers day coming up I might just send her a card thanking her for the gift of life and the music - it's neither here nor there whether I send it as I'm not emotionally attached to the idea nor the outcome. My only concern maybe she might just drop dead from shock or anger cause she is apparently a bitter old woman - I'm thinking she's probably maybe 85 something like that. Still I'm quite surprised myself that I would even bother - weird to me!!

How would it benefit me to send my mother a card after all these years

Hex 8.5>2

I read this as it doesn't matter either way whether I send it or not.

Mothers and Music

Hi, I can relate to your post. I had a similar feeling about my mother, at times, -- though she could be very difficult, it is thanks to her that I was introduced, at an early age, to cultural pursuits: literature, music, art-- all of which feed me deeply to this day.
I have a hunch about 8.5 to 2. I receive 8.5 very auspiciously, in situations where compassion and generosity are called for, from which a blessing will come.
The King's gesture is one of giving freedom and being generous . Such rule is most prospering (and 8.5 is the ruling line of the hexagram, so favorable). The key is to make the gesture without expectations or clinging.
The relating hexagram 2 says that the gesture will be well received or that your kind thought was received from the Tao itself.

I feel you are being told you can benefit from sending a card only if you can do it with the attitude you are not expecting to trigger a reunion or even a response.

I experience hexagram 2 as meaning a complete blank like an ocean where there can be storms and then they vanish and there is no trace of them or sign that anything ever happened. So it seems to say after sending the card your gesture may vanish like a wave on the ocean - may not get any response.

I think in 8.5 you are being encouraged to have an attitude like the king who sends out invitations but coerces no one to come to him.

If you decide to send your mother a card it should say only that you wish her the best and - if you do want to reconnect - your phone number. Say something like, "I was playing the piano today and it made me feel so good. I wonder if I ever properly thanked you for the gift of music you brought into my life? It's meant the world to me. Thanks, Mom!" - and then your phone number, if you want to. If she wants to call she can, if not she is not being coerced. After you send this note don't be waiting for a response - just let it all dissolve back into 2.The Great Unmanifested.

Thankyou Rosada - do you know I sent her the card with words very similar to what you suggested just half an hour ago. It felt right to send it for sure. I didn't put my phone number because I'm not interested in reconnecting with her or anyone else in the family - well maybe my older brother but he's never been part of the bs attitude towards me anyway. He was always pretty quiet and didn't get involved in the family dramas plus his communication skills leave a lot to be desired - a very typical male of that era but he and I had a lovely relationship before mum decided he was to 'old' to be living at home - maybe he was about 21y.o. when she decided that. He was incredibly hurt but said nothing and moved out. Last time I saw him was at my sons wedding in 2009 and we talked for ages but sadly his wife got caught up in the family dynamic of the 'horrible' Melissa. Who knows what will happen in the future, perhaps he and I will see each other one day again. I'm definitely not waiting for a response because I don't want one - I just sent it because I wanted to...period.

Dear Goddessliss,,,it's great you did...
Maybe she really needed your card although on surface would not show...Who knows...
But please I got 2 as well...And it's all about calmness and inner deepest detachment
You know when you sort of see yourself as a spirit only - and all people are just changing decorations...
For real - with some of them you have bonds, but in the end - when talking about emotions and being emotional in detrimental sense - like feelings of guilt etc, it all should just go away..Always..
The more free you feel the better

innertruth said:

Dear Goddessliss,,,it's great you did...
Maybe she really needed your card although on surface would not show...Who knows...
But please I got 2 as well...And it's all about calmness and inner deepest detachment
You know when you sort of see yourself as a spirit only - and all people are just changing decorations...
For real - with some of them you have bonds, but in the end - when talking about emotions and being emotional in detrimental sense - like feelings of guilt etc, it all should just go away..Always..
The more free you feel the better

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Dear innertruth, you're so right - I feel so free of so many things. I'm in my 56th year so perhaps Saturn returning is helping me with 'rebirth' of self. These days I work on on holding no detrimental emotional attachment and whatever issues people have with me, have absolutely nothing to do with me. My mother's issues are not mine, nor is Mr. Tantrum's in my other recent post. It's taken my a long while and many Yi threads to work it out but hey at 55 I am feeling free....

Yeah...Well, family is the oldest battleground there is. But I guess that's where we have the potential to grow to reach our very best - pushing up (and sometimes far away) from under all that stinky manure to reach true independence and freedom of spirit. It just takes a while to wash it all off ... :bows:

topal said:

Yeah...Well, family is the oldest battleground there is. But I guess that's where we have the potential to grow to reach our very best - pushing up (and sometimes far away) from under all that stinky manure to reach true independence and freedom of spirit. It just takes a while to wash it all off ... :bows:

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You're so right topal, thanks for mentioning this. I hold no animosity these days towards them, just compassion if anything and I have no qualms that in my mind I'll never see them again. People who are attached to their own family don't always understand that but I have to say I actually feel so happy and free that I got to thank my mother about the music via a card but how she responds to it just doesn't bother me. I didn't send it for her sake I sent it for mine for whatever reason my heart chose to do it.