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Old Friend, Weird Encounter Hexagram 38.2

ariel13

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Hi all,
I recently had an experience that has left me kind of swirling in a mix of emotions, and I just really needed to get it off my chest and get some advice or insight.

I went to see a band that two of my old friends play in. I haven't seen either of these guys in years. But I used to work with both of them back when we lived in in another state (far away). I haven't seen either of the guys in question in years, one in about 6 years and the other in maybe 8 or 10. I decided to go and see them, because I was kind of prompted by another mutual friend who plans to visit soon. The friend that is coming to visit will be staying with me and wanted to see one of the guys in the band also— I'll call him Fred. I also keep running into Fred on the street and the subway! Because he very randomly moved literally right down the street from me recently. So we keep bumping into each other and saying we need to grab a drink.

Long story short, I decided to go and see their band play as a kind of icebreaker for reconnecting.

Just as an aside— part of my trepidation in reconnecting with these guys before is the fact that they are both now in serious relationships. And it made me a little uncomfortable, like I didn't want to be that girl that's like hey! I'm trying to hang out with your boyfriend! or whatever. Also, the one guy— I'll call him Joe — used to have a big crush on me. Years ago! So really I felt awkward about hanging out with him but at the same time ended up putting this aside bc I thought, oh come on. Big deal. He was a kid then (early 20's) and probably is happily married and has forgotten all about it.

Boy was I wrong!

Everything was fine at first, and I was having fun. We had a lot to talk about and catch up on, and I had brought some friends too. So everyone was drinking and dancing and having a good time. I met both the fiancé and the wife, of Joe and Fred, and they were really sweet. I was talking with Fred's fiancé quite a bit actually. I really like her. Then I met the wife of "Joe" briefly. She was super nice too. And it turned out we knew some of the same people from back home so chatted about that briefly.

Then Joe's wife decided to go home. And then things got weird.

At first Joe and I were just chatting up a storm and having a lot of fun. And then he wanted to buy me a drink (with the band's free tickets). So of course, I was like— great! I'll have a beer. Then we go to the bar and all of the sudden my beer is "our" beer, and we are sharing a beer. Which in my book has always been a creepy way for a guy to figure out if you would kiss him or not. A guy told me this was a ploy a long time ago, and since then I have noted that it is almost always the case. BUT. I still wasn't thinking anything of it, bc this guy is harmless right? He's married! I would never in a second have thought he was hitting on me, maybe flirting a little. But that's all.

Then he brought it up. He said, "Hey... so I don't know if you ever knew. But I used to have a HUGE crush on you." And I was like.."yeah, I knew.." But then I made a big mistake of telling him I felt the same way. I had always liked him... I kind of thought of him as one that got away. In retrospect I realize this was a BIG mistake. In my mind though, life is so ****ed up. Full of ups and downs and so many upsets and heartbreaks that I can't count. So this just seemed like another dumb thing that happened. Like, oh well. It wasn't meant to be. So I thought it was fine to chat with him about it. Even a load off maybe! Like there could be some mutual ego stroking and then cie est la vie! We both move on.

But he kind of freaked out about it a little. Like OMG NOOO!!! Like he could not have imagined that was the case, and that it was a big deal to him. We kept chatting though, and I thought we kind of opened ourselves up and chatted through it, and it wasn't a big deal.

But by then, almost everyone had cleared out of the bar. And Joe and I, two of my other friends, his band mate Fred and Fred's fiancé were all that were left. Fred started insisting that they all needed to leave, because they needed to grab a car and go drop off their equipment. Joe asked me if I wanted to come, because they were headed closer to my house. I was like, no it's not really that close to my house I'll just stay with my other friends and find another way home.

So then they all left. And I had a moment to go WOAH! Did that really just happen? Did we really just have that conversation?? It was so crazy to me bc so many years had built up to finally talking about the mutual crush we had. Just as I was telling my friend about it, Joe appears again. He ran back down the stairs to talk to me. He kept asking me if I wanted to go with them, and I kept saying no, because I didn't think it was a good idea but also was confused bc they weren't going that close to my house, and I thought they were all headed home after that. He keeps badgering me and looking sad and wounded and practically begging me to come along. I just kept saying no. I was kind of like saying goodbye and consoling him. I was really drunk.

Then all of the sudden he kissed me! Ahhhhhh! I was like NOOOOOOOO YEEEEEESSSSS no, no, no no nonononono. It was the worst and best feeling. So then I told him again that I couldn't go with him. He left and went up the stairs. About 2 minutes later. HE CAME BACK AGAIN! Then he started kissing me again. And then finally, Fred stuck his neck out the door to the stairwell and said COME ON!

He finally, finally left.

I have felt SOOO bad about the situation and also so good about it ever since. So many emotions. Part of me wishes that he would break up with his wife and run away with me. Another part of me just really wants to be friends with the whole group and is super embarrassed about the whole thing.

Another part of me is just like, okay *shrug* it's no huge biggie. We were drunk, and nothing serious happened. But I am nervous bc I'm afraid I will have to stay away from him for his own sake, and I don't want to. Like I really wanted to reconnect with all of them as a friend group, and I don't know how to feel about it. And I also really like him. And I like his wife. And I also think OMG what if he WAS the one who got away, and they are on the rocks, and they will break up. And it will be for the best, and we will live happily ever after :rofl:

I don't know. I asked the iching a bunch of questions as per the usual.

But today I got 2.5>8 when I asked "How does he feel about what happened?"

And I got 38.2 > 21 when I asked "What am I intended to learn or gain from this encounter with Joe?"

I also got 63 > 64 when I asked "What will be the future of our relationship?"

I know this was an epically long story. And maybe it didn't need to be. But there was something cathartic about just typing it out. It doesn't help that I can't stop thinking about this whole thing partly bc the guy passed along a nasty cold/sinus infection to me, so everytime I blow my nose I think of him bahaha

But anyway, I know it's a lot to read, but I hope it was an entertaining story for you guys! I tried to make it funny. I would love your insights.

Thanks in advance for your responses!


:bows:
 
W

weaver

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Hi Ariel! Great story, and you told it well. Sorry about the sinus infection - eek. To me 38.2 says 'it happened, it was a chance meeting'. 38 in general says you two are not looking for the same thing and 21 I would take if I'd had this reading as a sign that you should be clear with yourself about that.

Maybe life was just tying a bow on two loose ends and it's done now?
 
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Hi, 38.2 to 21 indicates a brief or chance encounter, in the context of estrangement. Here, it seems that you had a chance meeting, the implications of which (if carried through), would cause penalties, which would have to be dealt with. Since he's in a committed relationship -- married -- this chance meeting could cause legal problems.
63 changing to 64, are you saying that ALL the lines in 63 are changing? or is that a mistake? If all the lines are changing, then this moment constitutes a decisive threshold or turning point for you or the relationship.
2.5 to 8 -- how he feels about you. The feeling between you, I would guess, is that you received something very good, fortunate, and special (2.5) . I am not sure what 8 means, except that it may mean that your affair is not private to the two of you, but impacts a larger group of people .
 

ariel13

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Hi Weaver,

Thanks for your response! And haha thanks. I'm glad you found the story funny! At first I was partially mortified, so it made me feel a lot better after I typed this out and realized that is was a kind of funny story. It helps to be able to laugh at it and not feel like such a jerk.

Hmm.. yeah I imagine your interpretation is probably right. Although, the chance part is kind of questionable for me bc I am thinking I will definitely see this guy again, especially since our mutual friend will be visiting in June. And we did make a concerted effort to interact with each other. I mean he did invite me to the event on Facebook (although he always does, and I never go). But I'm just saying that it's not like I just bumped into him. I did just bump into his bandmate though. A couple of times. And I literally met him on a dark street one night! It wasn't that narrow, but still so relevant to the "meeting your lord in a narrow street" line. haha Anyway, maybe he will avoid me now? I don't know..

But also on the chance note, the thing is that I always look for meaning in things and some lesson to take away from an experience, which is partially why I use the IChing. And I don't really believe in pure chance. I believe that everything happens for a reason, so I think it is odd that the IChing would respond that way! Like come on! Tell me the reason! Don't try to act like there was nothing to it. But okay, maybe you are right that it tied up loose ends in some way? It just feel liked it opened up a huge can of worms instead of tying something up though. Like I have not thought about that period in my life when I knew him in sooo long. And it's brought up all of this nostalgia and melancholy and joy and regret. That time period in my life was such a formative period in my young adulthood. And it was weird to see someone from then (who I hadn't seen in a while) bc it was liking opening a time capsule or something, and there was this perfectly crystalized version of my former self in there that he had preserved through his memory. And he had held onto this version of me like some kind of treasure or trinket. It was such as strange and also nice feeling to think that someone thought so much of me that they kind of like bronzed me and put me into a hope chest or something hahaha.

As for wanting the same thing, yeah we would obviously be two people wanting something different if he had the idea that he wanted something to happen while he was married. But I guess, judging by his actions, that is the case.

Anyway, thanks for your interpretation. It gave me a lot to reflect on.

:bows:
 

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