Hello everyone,

I’m new to the i-ching and I’m having troubles interpreting a cast. I’m having a distant relationship with someone who is starting to get sick of the distance between us, the time spent on the phone and of my doubtful personality. In a nutshell, he is waiting for me to make a decision and either start a life with him where he lives, or call it a day. As for myself, as much as I feel attracted to him and find him an amazing man, I feel taken aback by some things: he is jobless; he’s got a slightly aggressive sight and I don’t feel I know him enough to make such a big decision. I asked the i-ching: what should I do relating to my relationship with this person? I received 31.6>33 and I don’t know how to take it. Does it mean that I should split up with him? Thanks for any outcome! (and excuse my English!)

madamemo said:

Hello everyone,

I’m new to the i-ching and I’m having troubles interpreting a cast. I’m having a distant relationship with someone who is starting to get sick of the distance between us, the time spent on the phone and of my doubtful personality. In a nutshell, he is waiting for me to make a decision and either start a life with him where he lives, or call it a day. As for myself, as much as I feel attracted to him and find him an amazing man, I feel taken aback by some things: he is jobless; he’s got a slightly aggressive sight and I don’t feel I know him enough to make such a big decision. I asked the i-ching: what should I do relating to my relationship with this person? I received 31.6>33 and I don’t know how to take it. Does it mean that I should split up with him? Thanks for any outcome! (and excuse my English!)

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An 'aggressive sight' ? what does that mean ? Do you mean website ? It's a clear answer. This is all a lot of talk with no real intention to do anything. You aren't going to live with him, have you even met him ? Of course you can't go and live with him if you don't even know him. The fact that he is giving you an ultimatum is a bad sign. It's pushy. What do you think he wants from you ? Monetary support maybe ?

Your answer shows you don't really have any intention to go and live with him and his pressurising you is just a lot of hot air too.

Thanks Trojina for taking the time to answer. I did met him online, and we've met three times. So I've had the chance to spend some time with him, and that's how I fell for him. But we live in different countries and it feels hard just leave it all behind for a man who can't not even offer the promise of some stability. As for the agressiveness, it's in the way he talks sometimes (nothing really important, but I'm used to more kindness.) I'm seriously thinking about going there and give that a shot, because im not particularly happy with my life as it is, but I'm really scared about the possible outcome. That's why I asked the iching, cause I don't want to go wasting his time or mine, but I would feel sorry to let him go. Don't have a clue of what to do!

There's nothing solid to go on in 31.6. It really is not a basis to go and live with him in his country.

I don't think you know him well enough to risk losing what you have where you are. Any sign of aggression at all is a warning sign. If he speaks aggressively now what might he be like when you live with him and rely on him in his country ?

If he really cares for you he would understand you need more time to get to know him and to make sure you have something to go to. If you arrive there, not knowing anyone, relying on him for company for example, that might make you very vulnerable.

I don't like the sound of this guy because he is giving you a completely unreasonable ultimatum here

he is waiting for me to make a decision and either start a life with him where he lives, or call it a day

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My instinct on this is 100% walk away. 31.6 says there is nothing but talk here. My instinct might be wrong of course but

. Don't have a clue of what to do!

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I think your answer says you do have a clue. You are not intending to go through with this and you know that deep down. It is just an idea.....I don't think you want to do it.



Take care of yourself. Don't go putting yourself into situations where you make yourself vulnerable and have no easy way back. I don't actually need to tell you that because you are sensible and know quite well already this is not a feasible idea don't you ?

You could also ask more questions. So far Yi has shown you don't really intend to go and also possibly he may not live up to the words he speaks. If he makes promises to you for example then 31.6 would indicate it might all sound very nice but it doesn't have much substance.

You say he has no job and is sometimes a little aggressive and less kind than you are used to. Hmm and imagine if you were pregnant and you lived there and he had no job and he was aggressive. I'm painting a bleak picture here but this sounds to me worryingly like the road to entrapment. Your life is too important to spend it feeling trapped so make sure you think what is best for you now before getting into any situations you cannot easily get out of.

Trojina, I think you nailed most of the things you say in your comments. I've always seen any sign of agressiveness, no matter how little it was, as a warning sign. But the truth is I have never encountered a man like this one, so sweet sometimes and so manipulative when frustrated. He's not an easy person, but I thought it was worth trying, because he's got lots of good things to offer, we have a strong connection and, well... I probably thought I could fight his faults, so to speak, and make a nice man out of him. I know it might sound stupid; I guess I am just deluding myself. But the cast felt confusing to me, because my question was: "What should I do regarding to my relationship with this man? And here is where I don't get the i-ching. It would me completely clear to me if my question would have been, for example: "What's the outlook for this relationship?", but it wasn't, and that's why I started to wonder whether the i-ching was suggesting that we should talk more, but that doesn't make any sense...
In any case, I feel hugely grateful for your words. Leaving aside your help with the interpretation, you talk to me as a good close friend would have done, and gave me a valuable piece of advice that I shall treasure forever: "Your life is too important to spend it feeling trapped so make sure you think what is best for you now before getting into any situations you cannot easily get out of." Many, many thanks.

What should I do relating to my relationship with this person? 31.6 → 33
Time of Joining Together[31] is over, .6 is the last line, so do what 33 says - Retreat.

ashteroid said:

What should I do relating to my relationship with this person? 31.6 → 33
Time of Joining Together[31] is over, .6 is the last line, so do what 33 says - Retreat.

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I guess that makes a lot of sense. I wish I could see interpretations so clearly.
I also did what Trojina suggested and asked another question. I asked: Can I trust him? And received 10.1.4>59, which also seems to talk about being extra careful, if I got that right.

I know this answer 31.6/33 very well.. I agree with Ashteroid and trojina.
You have nothing to expect. Words and no action. You have to withdraw...

I recieved that reading few weeks ago. I asked "is there anything important right now related to this relationship I should pay atention? My first thought was confusing, but two days after I saw it very clear. For me this "frienship" is very energy consuming and I've been retreating or at least trying to. And all the fights and long talks we are having are pointless and frustrating. It's a waste of time and it's not the first reading warning me about that.

Something interesting, in my first post of this story astheroid helped me with my reading, he told me something about a change in the 8th month, august, and it's July and things aren't going precisely well.

Best thing to do when you feel in your guts that something is not right is in fact withdraw and move on. Hope it helps.

I think the 31.6-33 was basically saying that this person liked to argue, and that was how this person tried to "influence" you. As Ashteroid already said, retreat from this (or at least from these quarrels).

"fights and long talks we are having are pointless and frustrating." Exactly what I've been getting from this relationship so far...It's been five months since I posted my question and things are not going any better, so the Iching was right (and so was Trojina ) I'm leaving him today; hope it's for the best.