Dear Friends,

I am hoping that one (or all) of the many wise and talented friends in this community would be kind enough to offer insight into Hexagram 18. I am new to this community and have been absolutely amazed at the insight contained throughout this entire website - especially in the forums - so in advance - thank you all! I asked the IC 3 questions -
1. how can I develop the skill to access what I already know? Hex 7 w/ no moving lines

2. how can best fulfill my life's purpose? Hex 1 w/ no moving lines.

3. the last one is the one I am having the most difficulty with (and maybe I should have asked it first). My question was - can you help me find my ideal purpose and does it have something to do with children? That's when I got the 18 w/ moving 5 turning into 57.

In Stephen Karcher's book, it states:

Managing the fathers corruption; avail of praise
Managing the father, availing of praise
Receiving uses actualizing tao indeed

With a further interpretation that I must deal with the corruption of authority ... and use praise to actualize the task.

I want to be sure that I clearly understand the context of this hexagram and what it telling me - especially since it has to do with my ideal purpose in life.

Blessings of abundance to everyone.

Hi, Ann -

I gotta say, helping to interpret on a question like that feels like a pretty tall order, although I'm happy to try.

For your 18.5 answer, I would wonder if maybe it indicates more of a willingness to help than actually providing the direction. It's something to do with fixing a problem out in the world, but I don't see that it's much more specific than that.

I guess I'm also wondering about how you conceive of an ideal purpose - don't *we* determine our purpose in life? I mean, if *you* decide that it should involve children and you decide on a goal and do the work to make it a reality... well, wasn't that your ideal purpose?

So maybe more questions than answers for ya there, but hoping it provides food for thought...

- Jeff

Hi Jeff,

I am grateful (and applaud) anyone who is kind enough to provide additional insight. Hmmm, your perspective is definitely food for thought. I just finished sending a response to Bruce and Micheline thanking them for their insights as well as trying to expand on the information they provided. Yes, I do believe we determine our life's purpose but when I decided what I wanted to do, others interferred and brought it to a crashing halt. Then again, I guess I let it happen but only because I didn't know how else to deal with the situation at the time. To make a long story short, during a difficult childhood I knew with every fibre of my being that I could do a heck of a better job raising kids than my parents did and wanted to marry the perfect guy (for me) and raise kind and happy children and provide them (to the very best of my ability) with all the nourishment (spiritually as well as physically) and tools they needed to become strong, happy and kind adults. Well, I meant the man for me and he wanted all the same things I did. Fast forward - as a financial investment, we entered into a joint venture with his parents to live on one property (they in the house and us in the loft above the garage) for approximately 5 years. Well, his mother is extremely controlling and if you're not doing it her way, you're doing it the wrong way. For months, I didn't speak up when she would make snide comments to or about me out of respect for her being my partner's mother. I honestly had never experienced anyone like that in my life. Anyway, 6 months after his parents moved in, I moved out only because there was so much negativity and ill feelings and I knew that something had to be done in order for some healing to start. It was also a good thing (in hindsight) because he got to see first hand how manipulative his mother was and is. After I left, my partner and I went through a very difficult time and it's only been in the last year and a half that we've started making plans again for a life together. Now all it will take is a financial miracle to buy his parents out and send them on their way and/or the time and money to completely finish the house and sell it. That is why I said earlier that I guess I let it happen because I didn't call his mother out on her behaviour and stand up for my own rights. Sorry, so much for making a long story short huh? I guess when I got the moving line for hex 18 and it implied "what was spoiled by the father" I was thinking that I didn't stick up for myself as a child to my fathers' abuse and my mothers' encouraging / allowing it to happen. Oh my God, I think I just had an "AHA" moment ..... that has certainly been an ongoing theme in my life - not sticking up or protecting myself .... just as I did with my partner's mother ...... I think you've provided me with more than just some food for thought - Thank you Jeff !

Hi Jeff,

I didn't realize in my last post to you that the reference I made was part of a 2nd thread I started under "Newbie Extending Gratitude and Appreciation ..."

In general, 18 covers such issues as correcting corruption and so covers issues of neglect etc, issues with entanglements and the need to communicate to stop 'issues' developing from neglect.

At a more generic level it covers cultivation through discernment (quality control), and at an even more generic level it covers contractive bonding (sharing space with another/others) in a context of contractive binding (sharing time with another/others)

18 shares space with hex 46 and is the CONDITIONAL form of 'entanglements' where 46 is the unconditional form.

It is the conditional 'tag' that focuses on different 'entanglements' and so the need for quality control.

For more details on its spectrum etc see:

http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/lofting/x100110.html

Chris.

Thank you Chris for your insights - I'm still having some problems with this one. I guess I'll have to contemplate and let it cook in my cauldron for a while yet ....

Just a thought but how could you as a child stick up for yourself if an adult man was abusing you ?
You couldn't could you ?

Hello Void,

I don't know; maybe I could have screamed, kicked or punched; then again, that would have only brought my mother in to tell me to "shut up" .... I know you're right - what can a child do when in such a situation ... maybe it's that part of me now that would love to go back in time and say "what in the !@#$ are you doing! and don't ever think of trying it again!! and then "kapow" give him one - right in the kisser! Boy that felt good! Thanks Void!

Dear Ann,
It isnt that you COULD have stuck up for yourself as a child...that wasnt possible.......but children of abuse unfortunately learn, by default, to ignore their rights, and can often find themselves in situations where they do not feel worthy of sticking up for themselves.

It sounds like you are definitely working on what was spoiled in your childhood and making great progress. I honor your process.

Thank you Micheline I appreciate that. And yes, I totally agree with your statement; amazing isn't it? how hindsight just makes everything so crystal clear and how just one thing from our childhood can truly affect us well into adulthood. Better late than never though!

"amazing isn't it? how hindsight just makes everything so crystal clear"

Now perhaps the goal is to turn hindsight into foresight?

Excellent - I love that! Thank you!

Ann, you're welcome and I'm happy you're having some AHA!s

I had one too: when I posted I hadn't read that you were a victim of abuse. The father reference in 18.5 makes more sense now - it clicks that in your case there will be an element of healing yourself from that abuse when you finding your "ideal purpose". So, makes sense.

Power to ya!

- Jeff

YOur story, Ann, reminded me of a dream I once had....and I was thinking that hindsight is maybe not so much for developing foresight as it is a journey unto itself.

I dreamed that I was in a building going up stairs. But I remembered that I lost my daughter and had to go back down the stairs. I came to a terrible floor in the building where there was unbelievably foul things, people dying, and all kinds of debris. I looked in and yelled out softly: "Is 'my little girl' in there?"

The message of the dream was so obvious. I had to face all that yucky stuff below, walk into it even, in order to find 'my little girl'. I couldnt go on without her.

I used to want to believe I never had to go back, that life was for the present and that going back was maudlin psychobabble. BUt the present moment can never have the RICHLOVE and JOY it ought to unless we have gone back to find, embrace and finally protect the little child we once were.

It is all worth it, and yes, for sure, it is better late than never!

Jeff and Micheline,

I honestly believe I have healed from the abuse in my childhood and moved on but when things like 18.5 come up, I start thinking what else is there that maybe I haven't dealt with from my childhool? I went back in my mind and felt the anger and sadness from the whole experience and made peace with it through forgiveness (and more than a handful of tears). Not only do I believe I have forgiven my parents, but I have also forgiven myself for holding onto it for so long.

Maybe the key for me is what you stated in the last part of your message Micheline, going back and finally protecting the scared, frightened and neglected little girl I once was.... more food for thought and hopefully I can find a way to do that.

Thank you both for your insights; they are most appreciated.

Sincerely,
RichLoveJoy aka Ann