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On verge of burnout : hex 23 unchanging

folledeschiele

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After over a year of an unsuccessful job and fellowship search and two sad deaths in the family over the same period, I feel emotionally and physically extenuated. Yet I'm pushing on with a book proposal, job applications, etc. luckily I have steady freelance work that pays the bills, but my failure to secure work in my chosen field has eroded my confidence and left me feeling empty and disillusioned.

I have become very cognizant that I'm peering over a precipice and if I don't take care of myself, I'll experience full blown burnout. I asked for counsel in this matter and received 23 uh changing, which almost came as a relief. Do nothing. Don't fight it. Submit to heaven.

Yet just a day earlier, I also pulled 14.6 when noting my frustration at not having been given a sold chance in this profession, despite publications I'm told are good, invitations to lecture on a freelance basis, etc. that reading seemed to suggest a huge change in fortunes, maybe even a lucky break from someone benevolent who recognizes what I have to offer.

So I find myself at a confusing crossroads. Putting these two readings together, is the message perhaps "submit, wait, and don't struggle-- the situation is crappy and deteriorating and you have to wait for the seeds to sprout into something good?"

I keep agonizing over whether to throw in the towel and cut my losses on this career path, since it's making me stressed and unhappy. These two readings seem so diametrically opposed, I don't know how to interpret them together. Thanks for any insight. :bows:
 

Blue Eagle

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There is this site I love, called THE MODERN POET'S I CHING by Thom Williams. This is how he expresses hex 23.

Hexagram 23 : loss of balance*

"A hard time is indicated by this hexagram. Your world closes around you and events tax you to your limits. One after another, complications obstruct your path: too many people, responsibilities, pressures, and distractions.
You need to withdraw and get away. Even if it is within your mind. The trouble outside you isn't as aggravating as it seems-you are irritable. Stress and anxiety may have sapped your emotional strength and recuperation is necessary. Fuel your own regeneration by cultivating a more disciplined acceptance of life.
You can't be hurt now. Even if the world comes down, you will stand. The nights are quiet and the days, too. It's as if the world and its confusion are a room away. You may hear the clattering of dishes and the paroxysms of laughter, but your fate now is to be alone. Keep a minimalist approach. Strategically, it would be wise to operate with a simple mantra. Take three bits of advice and let them govern your every action. Govern is the world. There will be a conscious exertion of the will now. Things may not come easily and in the best possible sense, ignorance will be bliss. Let the world collapse. This is what a world does-rises, falls. You are not a world. You are liquid, sliding between worlds. If you are true, you are safe in "Collapse." "

*source: http://janan.members.sonic.net/ching/main.html#23
 

ginnie

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Often the hex 23 result is very temporary and comes from our state at the time we consulted the I Ching. That is, you needed to make some time for yourself to relax and regain your strength. I see the 14.6 reading as more generalized and long-term. Apparently you are on the right track in general, folle! Don't give up!
 

folledeschiele

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Thank you, Ginnie. It's hard not to feel hopeless. I was encouraged by someone on a search committee for a fellowship right up my alley to apply for it, and just found out I didn't even get shortlisted for an interview. It feels as if despite all my hard work, best efforts, and even my good contacts, I can't seem to catch a break or be given a chance. It's that stripped-bare feeling of hex 23 that seems pretty dominant right now. Looking for a silver lining, but I guess for now I just have to let it be and hope conditions will change, as they always do. I just hate feeling so exhausted and discouraged-- but who does like feeling that way? :bows:
 

ginnie

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Thank you, Ginnie. It's hard not to feel hopeless.

You're welcome. It's totally natural that you should feel the way you're feeling. And yet, and this is true for everyone, we can never guarantee a result, no matter what we do or how much we want something. The only thing we can control is the amount of effort we put into the thing, not the result! :)
 

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