Dear friends,

I have been repeatedly receiving Hexagram 23 ?Splitting Apart- when I ask the Ching about a relationship which has been broken up. My question to the oracle is always about the future, what might be the outcome of this painful situation with that person. And the answers always vary between changing lines 5 and 6. Being emotionally involved on the subject, the reading appears a contradiction to me.

I would appreciate if you shed some light on.
Thank you.
Learner.

Learner,
I think I know how you must be feeling. I used to feel scared and helpless when I drew hexagram 23. But looking at it in retrospect, nothing bad ever happened to me. Whatever happened in the situation needed to happen, and it happened without conscious effort on my part. Other than being generous toward others, and maintaining the will to act correctly ("inner relationship with a superior man"), there doesn?t seem to be any action the subject is advised to take. I didn?t know what else to do, so I did nothing.

This is a hexagram in which outside forces are at play; the subject of the lines is acted upon, or is merely an observer of what is taking place. In the end, ?the superior man receives a carriage and the house of the inferior man is split apart.? And that is as it should be, rather than the opposite, is it not?

Don?t worry, Learner. This will play itself out, and something new and better will develop from it. ?it is just when the fruit falls to the ground that good sprouts anew from its seed.?

Namaste,
Joan G.

Hello Joang,

By reading your interpretation of the dreadful Hexagram 23 ?and the changing fifth and sixth lines, which loom in the top-I drew the conclusion that I totally agree with you!
You are precise about the reading: there is no advice at all just because it is a kind of ?fast-processing element? which takes the situation completely out of my hands.
I will tell you what I am going to do about that complex issue ?absolutely nothing.
It seems to me that I finally got to the core of the problem. I was so concerned about what to do that I couldn?t see that the action to be taken is quite the opposite: it is just let it go.

The seeds are inside and they will sprout at the right time and place. Sometimes the simplest things are the more difficult to understand *grin*

Thank you so much.

Hugs!
Learner

You are welcome, Lerner. I am so very glad it helped. I have some further comments you may find helpful, not only with hexagram 23, but throughout the book.

The superior/inferior man/woman does not always represent a person per se in the situation. It can and often does refer to a belief, thought, feeling, intention, etc., held by one or more persons, which is affecting the situation. As William James said, ?Belief is that upon which a man is willing to act.?

Actions are determined by unconscious beliefs as well as conscious ones. If the belief is false, the resulting action is likely to be incorrect and lead to misfortune of one kind or another.

The image of a fish, imo, usually represents an unconscious element, something swimming around beneath the surface, below the level of awareness. An unconscious belief is often clustered with related beliefs; pull one up, and the others come with it, like ?a shoal of fishes.?

I have found it helpful to question the Oracle about the validity of a belief before or instead of taking any action based upon that belief.

Namaste,
Joan G.

Hello Joang,

Thank you for your comments. They are helpful indeed. I am in a period of calm and peace, after coming to terms with the reading of dreadful Hexagram 23.
By the way, I asked the Ching if a had made the right choice about the "no-action" regarding the reading itself and the answer was positive.

It is a time of relief, I suppose.

Cherioo,
Learner

Hello Joang,

Thank you for your comments. They are helpful indeed. I am in a period of calm and peace, after coming to terms with the reading of dreadful Hexagram 23.
By the way, I asked the Ching if a had made the right choice about the "no-action" regarding the reading itself and the answer was positive.

It is a time of relief, I suppose.

Cheerio,
Learner

23 is no more dreadful than unwrapping the pretty paper and bow to find out what present is inside to discover, enjoy and learn from. 23 is essential for growth and understanding. Without it, we couldn't move beyond appearances.

This is one where I believe Wilhelm missed the mark.

Learner, I don't have anything particular to add regarding 23, as I'm definiately still learning myself, but I do want to offer my support as you move through this break-up.

I've noticed that the most difficult aspect of loss can be the letting go of the future. This is the future you've asked about in your reading. I've come to know that it's natural to go looking for the possibility of a future, of hope for another day, as this can help make the now appear more comfortable and less painful then it perhaps actually may be.

One way I've come to help myself stay here in the present (and I'm adjusting to a recent break-up myself): I've asked Yi about the best approach to take RIGHT NOW. In my case I've gotten 25 Innocence/Dis-Entanglement twice! That's a message!

Learner, you are in my thoughts and I hope you transition through this time free from pain and discomfort, and into peace.

Malka

Dear Malka and Candid,

Thank you for your support.
I can?t think of anything more challenging than getting over a broken-up relationship. I am serious! Maybe it is because we tend to believe that things go wrong due to our inability and/or inadequacy to cope with torrential emotions and we assume that the outcome was a personal failure. Maybe it is because we forget that the so called ?happy ending? ?if there is any in the world- does not depend entirely on us.
It seems to me that sometimes we try ?and I am completely included on that- to correct anyone?s faults, as if we had that power, which we have not!
At this point I am facing the reality that the relationship didn?t work at all, trying to look at deeply inside and find out what I could have done and what I couldn?t. And, honestly, there were many things out of my hands, beyond my best efforts.
If you asked me whether I still love him or not the answer would be yes, but it is time to move on.
I am learning important lessons from the whole episode, especially about myself. That?s why I am a Learner! *grin*

Good luck for all of you because new opportunities are always presenting themselves.

Cheerio,
Learner

Learner, Perhaps there isn't a "getting over" and rather there is a "moving through"? I agree with you that it is easy to try and place blame somewhere. Yet this is just about control, and a way to avoid us from simlpy feeling the discomfort of the actual moment. To "feel the feelings" is what allows us to move through the experience by really being with the experience. Anytime you notice yourself jump into your head to "understand" alone (I believe the Yi can help give us some context for understanding in a way that is grounded in feelings, if we choose to see it that way, and which is different than understanding alone) notice how this takes you away from the feelings of the moment, and short-circuits the "moving though" process, yes?

Perhaps, as you say, the relationship didn't work at all. Perhaps, it worked beautifully in the way it did, and then ran it's course. I tend to believe everything we experience is for our own learning and growoth. If this philosophy works for you, then allow yourself to appreciate the many "important lessons" you say you've learned about yourself. Be grateful that the two of you chose to share this path of lessons together (undoubtedly he also learned his own lessons) and then gently release him to the wind.

Trust the process.

Blessings,
Malka

For Learner,

This is the time to gather helper(s). And don't engage in something ambitious. Yes, it's about the time of chaos and pain. But it's also the time of beginning. You maybe question your old assumption and believe or even your relationship. So the lesson is that you should not be too proud or too afraid to accept help or join with the others if it will allow you to achieve your goal.

Thank you Theoldman,

You are right, it is a time of chaos and pain but I truly believe that this is a passing phase.
I have been seriously considering a therapy to help me out, thanks to Hex 23.

Sincerely
Learner