Hey all,
My boyfriend and I had our ups and downs and lately it's been going smoothly, but sometimes I still feel like we have communication problems, so I asked Yi: What is going to happen with me and E?

answer: 38.4 > 41

38: Diverging: I see this as in we have conflicting points of views on several aspects of the relationship but neither of us are bringing it up. This is causing us to move in different directions. Line 4: (this i don't really get) My karcher book says: Diverging and alone, you meed a fundamentally powerful man. Mingling together connects you to the spirits. Could this mean that I'm not as into this relationship as he is??

anyway, moving on, 41: Diminishing.I just see this as us spending time apart eventually.

I don't know, i might be wrong, it's hard to be objective when reading for yourself Can anyone take a stab at this?

Is this boyfriend #1, the one you got 25 unchanging about before?

Hi Hilary and Crispy,

Crispy, can you exclude some interference from another woman ?
I do not mean a lover, could be his mother, a sister, a friend etc..

What is going to happen with me and E?

answer: 38.4 > 41

hex 38.4 says that you now feel isolated by the communication problems that you are having with E.
So, you will meet an older man who you can relate to and trust. Therefore, knowing of the dangers involved in this relationship you can overcome the problems and be okay.

hex 41 says that you must make a sacrifice, decrease, in order to gain an increase. You must give something up in order to gain something else (something better). Your future happiness depends upon this sacrifice. You have filled your life with emotional entanglements, so, time to let them go. Is it now time to sacrifice E for your future happiness? Do you already know this new guy that line 38.4 is talking about?

Hilary, yes, its the boyfriend that i previously got a 25 on. i decided to not take action on the new guy and stay with him, but the new guy and i are still friends.

Pargen, his entire family isn't very fond of me, that includes both his mother and sister. but they've been against us being together for the last 3 years and that never had an effect on us as far as i know.

Willow, thanks for clearing up some confusing I had about 41. There's no older man that I know of.

Hi,

perhaps mature would have been a better word than older.

I see that your 25 was also in response to a 'what will happen?' type of question... and I get the feeling that the reason you're asking 'what'll happen?' and not 'what can I do to help the relationship?' is because you're still trying to find out if it's a good thing to commit to. Which is all 100% in accord with 25, being Without Entanglement, ensuring that you put your efforts into what grows naturally and don't exert yourself futilely in a barren field.

38 in relationships - eek. Maybe it's just that you have different points of view on a few things - but maybe it's that you see the whole relationship (or the whole world) completely differently. 38 often has this 'and what planet did you say you were from??' feel to it.

Yet it actually doesn't always mean relationship doom. You and he are together, you have radically different ways of seeing, but if you bring 41 to the mix then
‘Opposed, alone.
Meet an inspiring man.
Joining together in trust,
Danger, no mistake.’

Here's someone utterly isolated by how different they are - but meeting an 'inspiring man', she's willing to offer something up in order to join together with him. Willowfox sees this as meeting someone else and giving up E. OK, that's possible. So is really meeting E - seeing how very much he is not you, and hence how he can connect you with creative possibilities you'd never see on your own. But whoever you meet when you are 'opposed, alone', they call on you to give something of yourself up to join with them. Not anything dramatic, probably, but something you resent having to let go.

Dangerous? Yes. Wrong? Not necessarily. Most commentators, like Stephen K, think that the meeting with the inspiring man is an unconditionally Very Good Thing. LiSe, though, says
"Learn to be alone. As long as loneliness is a problem, one embraces the first best person without seeing his negative sides, and the problem will only become bigger. A need is a bad guide in life. If you are aware of it and make a conscious choice, then it is not wrong."

This is speculative on my part. Does any of it ring any bells?

hilary,
yes, your speculations ring lots of bells. i do ask a lot of 'what will happen' questions i guess because i can't bring myself to make a decision of my own. this relationship has gone on for a long time but i've always wondered if it's the right thing for both of us. the thing i question is if we're somehow hindering each other from developing our own lives, friends, careers.

i guess i should explain that E is a very jealous type that HATES it when i have friends of the opposite sex. i had a lot of platonic friends that i've lost touch with because he didn't want me hanging around with them too much. i used to fight him on this but seeing how he's unyielding i just kinda gave in. i still dislike that fact about him and he knows it but we've swept that under the rug.

so with 41, the way you explained it, "But whoever you meet when you are 'opposed, alone', they call on you to give something of yourself up to join with them. Not anything dramatic, probably, but something you resent having to let go." i wonder what exactly
i'm giving up here. a part of myself to be with him? or my relationship with him to find myself?

I suppose that'd be up to you...?

it would be up to me essentially but the problem is i just don't know what to do. i dont know which way to go with this one, both are important. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Hi,

I think that something will happen around the middle of December which will put you on a different path.

i wonder what exactly
i'm giving up here. a part of myself to be with him? or my relationship with him to find myself?

perhaps making the relationship with E the sacrifice, the thing to give up. The relationship with E has given you a stable relationship for many years, so giving it up, would look like making a sacrifice, to head off into unknown territory.

i guess i should explain that E is a very jealous type that HATES it when i have friends of the opposite sex. i had a lot of platonic friends that i've lost touch with because he didn't want me hanging around with them too much. i used to fight him on this but seeing how he's unyielding i just kinda gave in. i still dislike that fact about him and he knows it but we've swept that under the rug.

it certainly appears that E is hindering your life.