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Communication problem

tanjhj

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Dear Forumers,

Since young i have interpersonal communication problem with others thus i am
always having problem with it till now and it kind of affect my social life and now even my life directly.
i am quite clueless what is the real problem on my part and how to rectify it so so i asked Iching:

"how can i change my communication problem with other people?"

And i got:

Hex 55.4

leads to

Hex 36

Plz advice as abv, those who got good books for me to read abt my problem, plz feel free to let me know. thanks
 

Tohpol

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Hi tanjhj,

Are you able to say a little more about the problems you encounter with others? Is it that you make others uncomfortable? Are you too extrovert? Too introvert? You must have a small idea as to what it could be. This might help us to advise you better as to what you can do.

The IC seems pretty positive on this though. It does seem to recommend tackling this right now while the time is right.

topal
 

asci_blue

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I used to have a similar problem and got over it, here's the best advice I can give. Make the decision active that you want it to happen. Next take a few hours one day a week to go somewhere public, mall, big store, somewhere you will likely never see any of the people again and just walk up to a number of them and say 'hi.' You don't have to really approach per se, but while walking by say hi, notice an article of clothing, something simple. Do this for a few weeks and your problems will be gone.

When I started at Best Buy about a year and a half ago I was hired as an LP. My job was to stand at the door, greet people, and be a pain in the ass. It took me a few days but pretty soon I was a chatterbox with customers as well as employees.
 

willowfox

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""how can i change my communication problem with other people?" And i got: Hex 55.4 leads to Hex 36"

Hex 55.4 this line says that you know that you have a problem, and that has started the healing process, so it is now up to you to be wise enough to do something about it. People will help if you ask them. It is now a time to change your thinking and attitude to a much more positive one. Heal yourself.

Hex 36 is about the darking of the light, in your case, the darking of your communications skills, so you are introverted, feel shy in public, and find it difficult in speaking face to face. Don't worry many people get this problem and most grow out of it. So, at the moment it will be difficult for you to make any progress with your problem but give it time and a change of thinking, then all should be well. Take absolutely no notice of what others say about you, do not become discouraged and despair about this thing, think positive, you have a goal in mind, so become self confident and meet others and talk. This will take a wee bit of time to learn these new skills but think positive because you can do it if you try.
 

tanjhj

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problems i notice.. i am pretty inconsistent in handling ppl..

1) i seem approachable at times but not most of the time
2) i seem too eager to please and abit showy.. i guess it may be my lack of confidence
3) sometimes i cant ctrl myself and get to close into their comfy zone.

the key issue is i dun noe how to handle ppl well..
 

Tohpol

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"i seem approachable at times but not most of the time"

Perhaps you are of type that is naturally "moody" or reserved sometimes and the opposite at other times? Sometimes happens if we have a mix of emotional qualities and traits which are seemingly opposed to each other. A bit like using the symbolism of water to fire or Mercury to Saturn. Perhaps you can begin to understand your personality make up a bit more in order to counter some of the more negative expressions overiding the positive?

"i seem too eager to please and abit showy.. i guess it may be my lack of confidence."

Yes, insecurity. That takes time to deal with but it will go naturally I think, the more you are aware of it. Just be yourself - you're perfect as you are! Yet there's always endless room for improvement right? You don't need to impress anyone and if they seek to be impressed then they are not for you anyway. Incidentally, do you take exercise or do sport of some kind? This can be a great balancer for excess energy and nervous tension.

"sometimes i cant ctrl myself and get to close into their comfy zone."
the key issue is i dun noe how to handle ppl well.."

You're not alone there! Relating to people is fraught with all kinds of lessons but its the best way we can learn. Relationships help us to know ourselves better as you're discovering now. You are seeing what appear to be the traits you don't like and are acknowledging them which is the first step. A bit of self discipline is always tricky to apply but it can be done. Whenever you think you're going to say something not appropriate or that energy is building and you feel like its pushing you to react rather than hold back, try to stop it before that happens. Once the thought is running and your mouth opens or your body responds it's very difficult to interrupt it. So, better to be aware the moment a thought rises up and head it off. Try being receptive rather than reactive and see what happens.

Just some thoughts for now. Hope it helps a little.

topal
 

tanjhj

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Today is a bad day, becoz a gal i like alot send me a email and this email say alot of bad things abt me..which i am not sure it is truth abt me. i read thru the points she is saying abt me and thou i can say she is lying, i agree some of the points she mentioned is really my problems, however i dun think i am that bad actually, thus i like to use this opportunity to ask Iching "Is what Malisa say abt me in the email the truth abt me?"
i asking this becoz i want to know if what she say is true and then i will correct myself as needed,.. my heart wants to change for the better. guys plz help..

I got Hex 38.1.2.4
leads to
Hex 23
 

tanjhj

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Today is a bad day for me, becoz a gal i like alot send me a email and this email say alot of bad things abt me..which i am not sure it is truth abt me. i read thru the points she is saying abt me and thou i feel say she is lying, i agree some of the points she mentioned is really my problems, however i dun think i am that bad actually thus i like to use this opportunity to ask Iching "Is what Malisa say abt me in the email the truth abt me?"
i asking this becoz i want to know if what she say is true and than i will correct myself drastically.. my heart wants to change for the better. guys plz help..

I got Hex 38.1.2.4
leads to
Hex 23
 

willowfox

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"Is what Malisa say abt me in the email the truth abt me?" I got Hex 38.1.2. 4 leads to
Hex 23"

Hex 38.1 says don't worry about her, but if you think you have mistakes then correct them, that way nobody can attack you in the future.

Hex 38.2 you can no longer date this girl, there is no longer any bond between you.

Hex 38.4 now you are isolated and alone because of a fight but don't worry you will meet a friend who wiill help you out with your problem.

Hex 23 you feel that your life is falling apart but this hex says to remain still, so accept what she has to say but don't reply.

Line 38.1 suggests that you have made mistakes in dealing with her so examine where you think you have gone wrong and do something about it. So she is telling the truth in her email.
 

Trojina

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Tanjhj seems to me you already feel pretty bad about yourself and don't need to take on board someone elses criticism. I see your reading as saying she doesn't really understand you, not that you are a bad person.
 

tanjhj

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Hi Guys,

Recently my life is screwed, lost a gf, depressed, job lots of obstacles, make enemies over nothing, losing frens, losing respect and my life seem aimless and felt drain and tired easily. I dunnoe what is happening to me now as my world seem like a spiral down, my world seem to turn upside down since i broke up with my gf.. i asked iching:
"what is happening to me now? "

Iching replied:

HEx 1.1.2.4.5

leads to

HEx 52

what does it really mean? who is the great man that i need to seek?


plz advice. thanks
 

mudpie

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the great man is perhaps in you.

allow your creative energy to rise like kundalini. Hexgram One is the great primal beginning,
when all is lost, when all your energy spirals downward in to the first chakra, the sleeping dragon wakes up, and begins to move, to rise.

It is a powerful time for you. meditate on the tremendous strength you have within you
 
B

bruce_g

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what does it really mean? who is the great man that i need to seek?


plz advice. thanks

My advise is: go back to what has already been said on this thread, and give it thought. I find Topal's and Trojan's comments especially relevant.

You're really hard on yourself for feeling as though no one understands you. One way of dealing with that is to practice being more reserved, or to take time to think before acting; wait to meet your ruler before communicating. Then your words and actions will communicate the right message to whomever you wish to communicate with or share your light with. But if you eclipse your light too much, your light won't be seen at all. The result is that you burn up inside with an abundance of yang energy (1). First, still your mind (52). Your heart will follow. Then your ruler comes, and then you communicate effectively, or even abundantly.
 
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willowfox

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""what is happening to me now? "

Iching replied: HEx 1.1.2.4.5 leads to HEx 52 "

Hex 1.1 says to wait for a while as the time is not right for you to do anything.

Hex 1.2 slowly start to come out of your shell and seek help and advice.

Hex 1.4 you have listened to the advice of others, so now is the time to get yourself involved in life once again.

Hex 1.5 you gain confidence, and your life will get back on course once again, and your sadness wil disappear.

Hex 52 says to keep your mind and all its negative thoughts still, to find inner peace while you go about your daily tasks, so relax and live in the present. Forget about what happened in the past with all its problems and sadness, the past is gone forever, so let it go.
 

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