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Hexagram 20.1 > 42

hexagon

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The love bubble burst...

I simply HAD to share with you that the bubble finally burst over my dilemma with being in love with two men. Here's the scenario - I have a long distance relationship with one man and the other has been what I thought was flirtation between us. After over a year of what I thought was mutual attraction was in fact in my head. Ah, the illustion of love! I finally had the NERVE to actually ask him if he wanted to go out for coffee and he adamantly said no. It was one of the hardest things for me to do, but with prodding from a coworker, I mustered up the courage. So now I know and feel liberated. Funny - I was getting positive readings from the IC with him. Yesterday, I asked Yi for "Advice on asking David out for conversation and connection tomorrow" knowing I wanted clarity to ask him and received

20.1 Contemplation > 42 Increase

With the moving line, Yi is telling me that I was looking at the relationship like a child - dependant on other people's feelings which led to distress and confusion. I believe I talked to too many people and really was immature in my approach with him. Karcher in symbols of Love suggested to increase my efforts, but I have thrown in the towel.
Tough lesson.
:duh:
Any feedback as to what some of you think 42 Increase means?
 

willowfox

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Hex 20.1 says you do not understand what you are getting into, you see the situation from a very narrow viewpoint and this will result into getting egg on your face.

Hex 42 As hex 20.1 says that you will end up looking silly if you ask him out, then obviously Hex 42 is no longer talking about that issue, it is talking about what will happen if you don't ask him or you have asked him out, the aftermath which is one of progress and new opportunities as you will have left the issue of David behind. Hex 42 is the future without David being in it anymore.
 

Trojina

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A bit lost as to whos who. Is David the one you asked for coffee and said no ? Anyway congratulations on that, it was very brave of you - some people never have the courage to face the truth preferring to live it out in their head forever and then they have regret over 'what might have been'.
 

hexagon

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A bit lost as to whos who. Is David the one you asked for coffee and said no ? Anyway congratulations on that, it was very brave of you - some people never have the courage to face the truth preferring to live it out in their head forever and then they have regret over 'what might have been'.

David is the one I work with which makes the situation complicated - and yes - it was David that said No. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done! but I knew I had to do it in order to move on. When he said no, I looked at him - gave him a high five, and said thank you... now I can move on with my life! I now feel relief but I realize I must not forget the lesson to make sure I check things out before assuming I know how the other person feels! This all happened yesterday so it's raw. Today I am coccooning as I witness the pain of rejection and reflect on what was not. I prefer the pain of truth to the illusion of love. I was reading into things with him that weren't there. When he said goodbye yesterday when he left work, he looked at me with a warm nod, acknowledging it was the right thing to do.

It'll be interesting to see how 42 Increase manifests now that the melodrama is over.

Thank you to Willowfox and Dobro and Trojan and Magic Tortoise for your support over this issue in the last year.
 

Trojina

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I did this once so I know how you feel but don't be too hard on yourself because he did flirt with you didn't he, so you did have some reason to think as you did. What I learned from it that I didn't really know is how much people can flirt and yet not mean anything by it.
 

hexagon

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I did this once so I know how you feel but don't be too hard on yourself because he did flirt with you didn't he, so you did have some reason to think as you did. What I learned from it that I didn't really know is how much people can flirt and yet not mean anything by it.

Thanks - I really needed to hear you've been there before. And yes - he certainly played his part with flirtation, but there really seemed to be something more than just playful flirtation coming from him. Sensing attraction is one thing - but validating that impression, in spite of the risks, is necessary. I also felt he was waiting for me to ask him out as he was in a supervisory position and could not make the first move. I did let it be known there was someone else, so that could've complicated things. The heartful pain continues...

Laurie
 

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