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Discuss sibling's relationship? 48.3 -> 29

elizabeth

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My father, sister and I all agree that another sibling is in an undesirable relationship. No one is willing to speak to him about it.. but I am! I asked the Yi to show me a picture of that conversation, where I to sit down alone with this sibling and discuss/warn/share my thoughts. The Yi said 48.3 changing to 29.

Other interpretations of this same set of hexagrams include the following:
1) I am the well, the source, but the convo will result in conflict (29).
2) 48.3 This person (me?) has smthing to offer that is not being utilized or appreciated. They have knowledge, talent, ability or something that the other person (my sibling?) is not aware of. I need to become aware of it or the externals to the relatiosnship which are always there will start to play a bigger part....

Here are the details:
48. Ching / The Well
above K'an The Abysmal, Water
below Sun The Gentle, Wind

The Judgement: The Well. The town may be changed,
But the well cannot be changed.
It neither decreases nor increases.
They come and go and draw from the well.
If one gets down almost to the water
And the rope does not go all the way,
Or the jug breaks, it brings misfortune.

The Image: Water over wood: the image of The Well.
Thus the superior man encourages the people at their work,
And exhorts them to help one another.

Line 3: The well is cleaned, but no one drinks from it.
This is my heart's sorrow,
For one might draw from it.
If the king were clear-minded,
Good fortune might be enjoyed in common.

Hex. 29 The Abysmal (water over water)
judgement: The Abysmal repeated.
If you are sincere, you have success in your heart,
And whatever you do succeeds.

The Image: Water flows on uninterruptedly and reaches it goal:
The image of the Abysmal repeated.
Thus the superior man walks in lasting virtue
And carries on the business of teaching.

29 sounds positive. 48 itself, the image of the well: connection between people. But line 3? What is it saying?
 

my_key

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My father, sister and I all agree that another sibling is in an undesirable relationship. No one is willing to speak to him about it.. but I am! I asked the Yi to show me a picture of that conversation, where I to sit down alone with this sibling and discuss/warn/share my thoughts. The Yi said 48.3 changing to 29.

Hi Elizabeth
I think the picture that the Yi may be showing you a strategy for planning for and having the conversation with your sibling.

The well is a source of life you have one inside you as we all do. We have to drink from it, keep it clean and use it or else it will dry up.

48 - The noble one encourages the toiling people to stand by each other
48.3 - Think about all aspects of the situation. Look at what you are doing from not just your viewpoint but also from that of your family, your siblings and the partner. Then you will we better placed to see what you really need to do. The possible solutions will become clearer as the waters become less murky.

29 - Conflict. Possibly refering to some family disagreement in the period leading up to your asking the question.
No one is willing to speak to him about it.. but I am!
Or a word of caution regarding how the conversation may develop if 48.3 is not given true consideration.

We don't want any broken jugs here !!!!!

Love and Hugs

Mike
 

rosada

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I think 48.3 is saying you have some real insight to offer your sibling and it would be a shame if you did not speak up.

29. doesn't say the situation is Conflict, it says the situation is dangerous. You don't know what the outcome will be, but if you are sincere (note the judgement) you'll do just fine. I think this means it's not your job to get him to break up with the girl, just to tell him what you as a loving sister see. Like, "This is what I see. If you still choose to be with her I will respect your choice but as your sister I feel it's important I be honest with you." Note that as someone in his enviornment - YOU - is honest with him, he will recognize Truth more readily himself and perhaps see where he has been fooling himself and decide to end this relationship not because of anything you say, but just because he's seeing a bigger picture himself.
My son was once dating a girl. None of us could stand her, truly, we were appalled! I felt as his mother I had to say SOMETHING and finally I got my courage up to say. "She never let's you talk." Well, I don't know if that led to the break up, but shortly there after they were no longer a couple. Now here's the weird thing, they remained friends and several month's later I saw her and he together at a gathering, not as a couple but just as part of the group of friends. This time I found her to be delightful! I thought she was an excellent person and I was pleased to know she was one of my son's friends. So anyway, who knows why the whole family is reacting so strongly to this girl your brother is dating. She may really be a negative or maybe it's just that they are not right as a couple. Anyway, I encourage you to trust your impression, you may be doing them both a big favor. Consider, You may not be losing a sister-in-law, you may be gaining a friend!
 
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willowfox

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Hex 48.3 says you are like a breath of fresh air that needs to blow his ear, you need to do this for all concerned and will certainly make the situation clearer for him.

Hex 29 this is very simple, if you are sincere and doing this for his good then you will succeed. The danger here is about fighting, so do not get angry or in a fight, that would be counterproductive, one must be patient and understanding. So think carefully about what you are going to say because you need to have him see you as a friend not an enemy, be gentle like water and the light in his head should come on.
 

elizabeth

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Thanks everyone for your comments. Unfortunately things are complicated because much of what I hear about her i hear second hand (since I am not living in their city now). But I have heard it from my sister, who heard it from my brother's friends (all of whom think he's crazy to be with her). This girl is very nice on the surface, there is nothing you could fault her for, but she has been manipulative in a way that I'd hope none of my relatives would condone in a member of our family. (like trying to open a bank account in my brother's name w/o his permission... and I"m not supposed to know she did this but I do know). So I dont know how to approach the "Examples" I have as they're second or third hand info...but the *overall* picture points to the same thing. Its just that w/o the examples, my "point" will be weakened. I hate to go in and say "I heard that she did X"...but I'm not sure another way around it... hmm. Have to think about it.
 

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