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Hitting against a brickwall!!

rose

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Dear Friends, pls dont judge me as I share this personal thing with u. Not that I think u are going to judge me for my actions but rather that u have been giving me your input and helping me and I feel I didnt know what was best to do at a specific moment when things just happened.

The night I gave up and said ok this is all behind me, if I see him, I'll be polite and there doesnt have to be any misgivings.. that's the night he actaully calls and texts me and appears infront of me! When I keep thinking abt it nothing happens, and the moment I truly let it go (which is such a painful thing to go through, he re-enters my life!

He told me he read the letter 20,000 times and he asked me he needed to know if I wrote that for my closure. I didnt know what to answer so i said I meant everything I wrote. And he said "Why me, there are so many others. I have been selfish". And he said "Dont u think we broke up for a reason. We were having too many arguements". and I found myself saying "What arguements". And he said they were so petty. We both sat there in silence acknowledging all that had happened, and holding each other in kindness and gentleness. U know the feeling that u have triedur best but failed...and u are accepting it..

We ended up spending the night together. We were both intoxicated.Ouch! what was I doing!!!!! he walked me home the next morning and said he'll call me to meet up for coffee sometime.

I got to hear his side and how he's coped with the sadness too. He's actually a human like me I realise, not quite the villain I made him out to be. I think both of us still care for one another but so scarred by the past that we dont want to repeat it.

I asked dear I-Ching:

He responded to my letters and we were together last night. Where is this connection/relationship with him heading to?
21.1.5>12

What can I expect from him now?
36

Will I and him get back together?
23.1.2.4>38

How do you suggest I handle my actions towards him now since all the previous hexagrams are so bad I feel, for the best outcome for both of us?
3.1.5.6>23

I might get a job offer interstate and he seemed kinda sad. I was so confused. But I think I have an expectation that this should be a relationship - and that shouldnt be the way. I should look at this friendship from a new perspective and shouldnt force affection into a pre-concieved pattern. To stay with what is rather than try to get ahead of it. For if this is a friendship that has meant a lot to me, then I should be happy and content it is back, without having any expectations to it.I just dont want to stuff up this friendship again! Can anyone pls enlighten me anyway you can?

With thanks,
the most fallible Rose.
 

dobro p

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Most Fallible Rose

I've seldom seen such a spectacularly consistent response from the Yi to a string of questions like you asked. The only thing I want to add to that before I get down to business is that when we make a decision that challenges the automatic tendencies in our life, those automatic tendencies sort of fight back and test our resolve. That's what's happening to you right now.

I asked dear I-Ching:

He responded to my letters and we were together last night. Where is this connection/relationship with him heading to?
21.1.5>12

It's heading toward you having to strenuously work through this obstacle that this relationship has become and which is obstructing good energy in your life.

What can I expect from him now?
36

You can expect darkness and emotional injury.

Will I and him get back together?
23.1.2.4>38[/QUOTE]

You won't. Your relationship is stripping away at you painfully and the net result will be a state of polarization, either between you and him, or between two parts of yourself, or both.

How do you suggest I handle my actions towards him now since all the previous hexagrams are so bad I feel, for the best outcome for both of us?
3.1.5.6>23

A new beginning that strips him away from your life.

Good luck, MFR.
 

Trojina

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Agree with what Dobro said but also the way I see it i don't think he treats you too well, reading between the lines. He cut you out quite harshly and then he calls out of the blue, becomes intimate again so your heart is fully open to him once more, spends the night with you and then says he'll call for coffee sometime ?! I could be making assumptions here but this doesn't seem quite fair. If he has sexual relationship with you hes not just a friend . It seems he wants to keep it casual with you which would be fine were it not for the fact he knows you have very strong feelings for him. Knowing this I feel he should not play with your heart by dropping into your life as he feels like it - that only prolongs the agony for you. He said he was selfish and i think he was right. Its hard to see that when you're in love with him, but think of your own self worth, self preservation too. Its a sad fact some people just like to keep others hanging on, giving bit of affection here and there to keep it going. Of course i don't know his true feelings and can't judge him but it might be good just to have a slightly cynical view of his actions - his words are one thing his actions another. I feel you deserve better treatment than this really. Sorry, that had little to do with the Yi more my opinions although i do think the Yis answers are fairly consistent

Hmm as an after thought I'd definately be a little cynical over calling this a 'friendship' if you are in love with him and sleep with him. Its a good ploy on the part of the man if he wants it to be casual to call it a 'friendship' - but thats only okay if the other party feels the same, otherwise it becomes a little dishonest and exploitative - if it works out your're the kind of 'friend' he just shows up and sleeps with when the mood takes him when you want so much more then thats not friendship, thats him taking advantage IMO
 
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