64.3.4-->18

Where is our relationship heading?

24 no changing lines

What happens after the turning point, hex 24?

6.1-->10

I feel I am in for a headache, does anyone have input? Thanks muchly.

how does he feel about the relationship?
64.3.4-->18

I think that he is now ready to step up the relationship, he is preparing to take a chance and go to a higher level here, its going to get real serious soon.

Where is our relationship heading?

24 no changing lines It is headed for good times.

What happens after the turning point, hex 24?

6.1-->10 This speaks of any outstanding conflict that may still be lurking, it advices you, him, both to drop it and then everything will run smoothly. Hex 10 is just advising you not to annoy him with petty grievances, to be sensible if you want to have a good relationship with this person.

Wow, willowfox, thanks!
I thought it was going to get really bad, due to hex 18 being stagnation..
I never expected a positive answer to this, thanks once again!

I asked another question, what is in store for the relationship?
I got 54.2.5->17
Is this good or bad? I checked some interpretations on it and saw some mixed reviews. Since I'm not quite sure about the interpretation I remain neutral about it for now.

54.2 seems like a bad one, true nonetheless
54.5->17? I'm not so sure..

Sincve I got the hexagrams above, I asked, how will he behave towards me?
48.6->57

anyone with insights to these hexagrams would be appreciated.

Ever thought of talking to him ? Reckon hes the only one with the answers here.

I tried talking to him yesterday, but as expected, he didn't respond..

So I asked the iching for advice again, how did he think of my move yesterday?
I think its funny how we can survive for so long without communication, but I would very much like to communicate with him. It;s just he doesnt.. I know this situation seems complicated, but I am trying my best to get insight into the situation.

Iching replied
10.3.5 --> 14

Perhaps the hexagrams are saying it wasnt an expected move and his silence is a response of "biting"? And because it was a very tense situation and I broke it, i did court danger for a bit. I did tread in the tail of the tiger, as in presented a response unexpectedly?

However, hex 14 is a good one. Perhaps it was a positive move?

The situation is this; we are having a LDR, and before he left overseas, we have not resolved certain problems in the relationship. I am not wanting to shake waters too much because he is alone in a foreign land and I want to give him as much support as possible. Yet I am very perturbed by his non response. I just wanted to know if our relationship could work out. Perhaps he thought a conversation may end our relationship into dire straits so he chose to remain silent.

thanks for your help, all.

spica said:

Wow, willowfox, thanks!
I thought it was going to get really bad, due to hex 18 being stagnation..

Click to expand...

Hex 18 is about repairing the damage already done in the relationship, so he does indeed want to repair his mistakes, he wants it to get back on track. So his attitude towards the relationship is positive, he just needs to find a way to do it now.

how did he think of my move yesterday?

10.3.5 --> 14

It appears he was unhappy and angry about it, he saw what you were trying to do by your reckless action but you upset him by treading on a subject that he didn't want to discuss. Nevermind, too late now but least said quickest mended and that leads to a successful outcome.

Thank you willowfox, that is correct.
Actually all i did was call his name.. i wanted to discuss something, but he didnt reply, so i took it that he didnt want to discuss it.

However, at the advice of a good friend, she told me to get it straight with him. It seems he is playing games with me, and I have enough of it. This has carried on for some time, and he would only appear when he feels like it.
So, i have sent him a few other messages with my last one being very direct about it. I asked if he was purposely being evasive and it was not funny anymore.

I asked the iching again for some advice on what would happen next - what will he do, after I tell it to him that I am sick of his games and won't buy into them any further?

the i ching replied
58,4 -->60

Nine in the fourth place means:
Joyousness that is weighed is not at peace.
After ridding himself of mistakes a man has joy.

Does this hexagram mean that he will decide to split with me (and vice versa), to take the higher path of not being bothered with petty relationship concerns, or, would he make an effort to be nicer after realising he made a mistake?
What does limitation now mean, does it mean boundaries to be set, or obstructions?

Thank you, willowfox,trojan or any of you who may contribute.

spica said:

I asked the iching again for some advice on what would happen next - what will he do, after I tell it to him that I am sick of his games and won't buy into them any further?

the i ching replied
58,4 -->60

Nine in the fourth place means:
Joyousness that is weighed is not at peace.
After ridding himself of mistakes a man has joy.

Does this hexagram mean that he will decide to split with me (and vice versa), to take the higher path of not being bothered with petty relationship concerns, or, would he make an effort to be nicer after realising he made a mistake?
What does limitation now mean, does it mean boundaries to be set, or obstructions?

Thank you, willowfox,trojan or any of you who may contribute.

Click to expand...

I think your answer doesn't indicate how he will make his decision, only that he is in the process of weighing things up, He can't have it all (hex 60) he has to choose where to get his joy. You have to bear in mind if he hasn't made any decision yet the Yi can't tell you what that will be. The future certainly isn't set in stone especially where other peoples decisions are concerned, so I'm afraid IMO this doesn't tell you how he will decide what to do. It does suggest to me a little superficiality of approach as if he weighs up what you cost him (so to speak) and what you give him. So far, from what you say hes had it pretty much his own way which has been unrewarding for you - now he has to decide. I think your friend gave you good advice BTW, it did sound like you were continuing to accept a very unsatisfactory situation

Yes, you're right Trojan, thanks for your interpretation of the hexagram.. it seemed really unsatisfactory, furthermore I tried to find out what's up, and he was evasive.

I wanted to know if I should stay on my current path with him. The iching seemed to recommend it. 54.5>58
Maybe i would take second place to something? but still gain joy in return..

i probed with 2 more questions:
can i expect that he will be my future boyfriend/husband?
61.2>42
It seems to suggest a spiritual link which I agree.

Is he good for me? 60.4>58
It says yes?

The iching seems to suggest to me to stay on my path with him, even though there is communication troubles.

Dear,

In my view, it is important that you understand that this relationship is at its early stages and it still needs lots of looking after.

64.3 >> “Before completion, attack brings misfortune”

Perhaps if you had a look again at all your readings it would be clear that...

Firstly, you are too anxious “to sort things out”:

6.1 >> "While a conflict is in the incipient stage, the best thing to do
is to drop the issue. Especially when the adversary is stronger,
it is not advisable to risk pushing the conflict to a decision"

Secondly, you have already made a premature move:

10.3 >> "He treads on the tail of the tiger.
The tiger bites the man."

Thirdly, you do not have much leverage in this relationship:

54.2 >> "Here the situation is that of a girl married to a man who has
disappointed her. The girl is left behind in loneliness; the man
of her choice either has become unfaithful or has died."

Finally, you find it difficult to cope with strong emotions:

Hex 58.4 >> "Joyousness that is weighed is not at peace"

I believe that before going any further you should take some thinking time to understand what is really going on and perhaps asks the Yi advice on how to make things better in this relationship.

Hope it helps
Mirian

spica said:

Yes, you're right Trojan, thanks for your interpretation of the hexagram.. it seemed really unsatisfactory, furthermore I tried to find out what's up, and he was evasive.

I wanted to know if I should stay on my current path with him. The iching seemed to recommend it. 54.5>58
Maybe i would take second place to something? but still gain joy in return..

i probed with 2 more questions:
can i expect that he will be my future boyfriend/husband?
61.2>42
It seems to suggest a spiritual link which I agree.

Is he good for me? 60.4>58
It says yes?

The iching seems to suggest to me to stay on my path with him, even though there is communication troubles.

Click to expand...

Hi, re all these questions I think you might get tied more in a knot than if you go by what your feelings, his responses and common sense tell you. The time the Yi can make no sense to me or seem very contradictory is when I'm in a high anxiety state over something, don't trust my judgement, asking over and over and none of the answers really tieing in with reality - this is because one can get into a state where one doesn't even really want to know the reality. I'm saying this because from all I've read here and in other threads this man IMO seems to be not interested in communicating with you at all and doesn't seem to care much about your anxiety over the matter either. The only reason it seems to continue is that you are hopefully imagining he will feel different one day and so on. The Yi and our interpretations can't give you what he needs to. Its obvious to me you'd be better off losing him - really so theres no point me offering more Yi interpretations cos the evidence that he is wasting your time has become overwhelming from my POV. I could be wrong of course - maybe he'll get his act together if you give him a kind of ultimatum (which you have haven't you) but I can't see the point of keeping this alive just through questioning the Yi. If he can't even talk to you move on.

I always think the more threads that are devoted to how a man feels means the less likley the relationship is viable. This is what, about the 5th thread related to asking about this mans feelings, the last one was something like "should i be worried about this relationship" - and you still don't know because he won't talk to you - so its simple as i see it, either he talks to you honestly or you move on. I can't see that we are helping anymore by interpreting hexes for you.

Of course continue to ask if you wish its just personally I think it would serve you better to look at the facts here of how hes behaved to you so far, than consult the Yi

actually, Trojan, the Yi describes my feelings accurately... i am also not one for disillusionment and have questioned myself why i am holding on to him for such a long time.
I do not know how to explain it, but i guess it just has to play out.
This guy in question has replied me, and is replying me..in words..

actually in buddhism and meditation silence has its value. I didnt take it as he was ignoring me when he was silent. I saw it as a gap of either acknowledgement or not having things to say at that time. he is adept with timing and space.

Thanks Mirian as well, you so concisely summed up the hexagrams. They are exactly as you described..

I know something is up, and he is slowly opening up. He has replied me, but I am waiting a few weeks again to speak to him.

one thing why we do not have frequent discourses is because it can get so intense one sentence speaks volumes. it can sound silly, and logically it does, but presence suffices. words can be overwhelming, especially if they touch a sensitive area.

i am very forthright, have reason to be, but sometimes i reel from the "honesty" and bluntness.. in fact i understand his silence sometimes - i know i paint him to sound like a bully on this forum, it wasnt exactly my intention, but then i am the asker so i presumed i played the protagonist here.. lol.

I have also left out some parts where he was and is very nice.. i ask the yi especially when he frustrates me, and it can seem dire, especially when he refuses to explain himself.

i know this may sound up in the air, its where the situation may be, but if i listen to my heart, especially in silence, i follow it and have been since. even if this sounds one-sided, it isnt, because the connection is two way.. and i can feel it.

by the way, i appreciate ALL answers, right from all my previous threads, some which spurred a discussion. I appreciate all your insights and wittiness, they have inspired me regarding the hexagrams of the i ching.

i used to think the yi was a black and white oracle, but as i gain understanding i see it's a holographic, magical, amazing tool. it opens a sense of wonderment that the universe is pure magic.. especially when it addresses the exact concern i have.

thanks again all, and apologies if i seem ditzy or churning too many questions.

p/s: i will take both your advices! have asked the yi how to improve my relationship, it said i should go forward, even if there are minor setbacks.

Spica yes I think if you begin asking more about what you do in this relationship, how you best respond to him then probably things will look clearer, more manageable anyway, than if you ask about his feelings.

I have been down the route of asking ( repetetively) about others feelings many times and seen others here do it and so thats why i was so emphatic about saying it can end up making you more confused than ever (bitter experience ). But you're right sometimes relationships just have to 'play out' regardless of how they seem to others

Trojan, you're right, I didn't think about it before.
You see, to me the oracle can answer any sort of question if I know how to interpret, but I end up asking about others' feelings as i figured it was the best way to get to the root, instead of asking about how i should do things, as i would then be blind as to what's going on the other side.
Though I agree it is invasive, but the yi would reveal what is necessary to know only anyway..
and yes, this thing has to play out.. I'm not over him, and try as i may, cannot because he is hanging on to me still, psychically, and through the things he says, and notwithstanding the fact he keeps putting off issues that may resolve certain things.

To me, i know he isn't ready, and the yi has mentioned i am wanting this too fast; i am aware he still wants to see me, but is not ready for a 2nd level of commitment yet. i would still hang on, not because i want to, but i am inclined to if i dont follow my head.

Thanks for your advice and emphatic sharing.:bows:

Hi yes many people here seem to think that the Yi answers any question directly - IOW it always answers the question you ask. Thats not my view or experience at all. I find the best way to understand the answer is if i sit quiet with it for a while and then it becomes clear how the Yi is answering (sometimes) and it answers what I need to know not always my exact question - as far as I'm concerned it sometimes goes one better than my question by giving me the insight i really need. So when i ask about others feelings and its very important to me i just can't get to the state of mind i find conducive for understanding as my hopes and wishes and fears run riot and cloud any truth the answer may have. So my saying asking over and over about others feelings isn't always very helpful is not primarily cos its invasive (i don't think the Yi allows that) but because it starts to make matters 10 times worse in that one can get much more confused about the others feelings than one was to begin with -often because the answers may start to point back at your attitude not the others. Asking what I need do or how I best respond however carries much less fraught emotion (more sense of control) and so more liklihood of the answer being understood . :bows:

BTW have you tried communicating in writing with him, I mean letters rather than email. Its much harder to ignore a letter than a phone call and also he'd have more time to express himself

Excellent advice as usual Trojan, you have connected well with my situation.

My guy, or should i say "my", seems to be very self centred and has alot of pride. He is not the sort who truly needs verbal communication at all, it seems to "know" is enough.

I know your advice is the best solution, it's the one I see as best too. What I'm doing is to send him offline messages so that he can reply anytime he likes, and I don't need to see him online at all. Thank god for msn's offline messaging.

I would send him an email, which would seem like a huge step, the offline messaging is the next best thing. and slightly more personal.

Thank you for your help and understanding.