Hi there

I'm new to this site, so I hope I don't mess up.

I've met a guy recently whom I like a lot and so does he. We've had sex and my main concern is that we go steady and see what comes out of it. I don't presume that this will be long lasting -I'd just want us to give it a try and not remain on the purely physical level. Very early on in the affair I suggested we exchange phone numbers and he evaded the suggestion in jest. Now I feel he's backed away a bit so I decided to let it cool off for a while and haven't been around the place we usually meet "by chance".

So I decided to ask the Yi what I should do and got Hex 6, lines 3 and 5 changing (resulting hex 50). I pondered long on the answer and no"great man" being around, I asked the Yi again if next time we meet I should be friendly and flirtatious as has been the case since we've met - as if nothing had happened, that is. I got Hex 6 again with lines 1 and 3 changing (leading to Hex 1).

I've made my own interpretation of the situation but would welcome any insight.

Thanks
El_2

Hi El,

'm new to this site, so I hope I don't mess up.

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I'm pretty new here myself, but I've already seen that this is one the most patient and friendly groups anywhere...

The shortcut way of listing your first reading is 6.3,5 > 50 and the follow up is 6.1,3 > 1. This might save you some typing. It also seems to be the way the search engine here works, I'm not sure about that.

6 shows two opposite forces that are moving apart from each other, the way the sky goes up above us and water flows downhill. If the sky and water each get to do their own thing, there will be more and more distance between them. At best, with effort it would be possible to meet halfway. But even this really only has a chance if there is agreement on values and principles right from the start.

6.3 Nobody can take away from you what is yours. But if you want to contribute to a shared situation, don't fight to take the credit.
6.5 If you're in the right, and you're dealing with someone who is concerned about ethically doing what is right, you will succeed.

50 When there is a harmonious spiritual blend with shared values, everyone gets what feeds their soul.

What should you do? Be aware that a harmonious long-term relationship will only work with shared values. Don't assume what sex means to him. Find out if you really share what is most important in life. If this heartfelt spiritual unity is not present at the beginning, you can't add it later.

What if you return to flirting? 6 again. This time, if you are accomodating, then line 1: the most yang, male, active, beginning outcome: the guy gets whatever he wants. Is that OK with you?

el_2 said:

Hi there



I've met a guy recently whom I like a lot and so does he. We've had sex and my main concern is that we go steady and see what comes out of it. I don't presume that this will be long lasting -I'd just want us to give it a try and not remain on the purely physical level. Very early on in the affair I suggested we exchange phone numbers and he evaded the suggestion in jest. Now I feel he's backed away a bit so I decided to let it cool off for a while and haven't been around the place we usually meet "by chance".

So I decided to ask the Yi what I should do and got Hex 6, lines 3 and 5 changing (resulting hex 50). I pondered long on the answer and no"great man" being around, I asked the Yi again if next time we meet I should be friendly and flirtatious as has been the case since we've met - as if nothing had happened, that is. I got Hex 6 again with lines 1 and 3 changing (leading to Hex 1).

I've made my own interpretation of the situation but would welcome any insight.

Thanks
El_2

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He "evaded the suggestion in jest" Lets get this clear you like a man and hope to go steady with a man who has sex with you but avoids exchanging numbers ??

You have a very clear conflict of values here don't you ? You simply are not seeing things the same way, that must be the hex 6. He obviously sees this as sex only, casual thing - but phew even by casual standards it seems pretty insulting not to even want to exchange numbers ? He doesn't even want to call when he wants sex but waits till he bumps into you. What should you do ? 6.3.5 to 50 - well first acknowledge you have a totally different agenda to him - thats obvious isn't it - and you'll never make things the way you want them by pushing for them - but 6.5 suggests debating the issue with him may bring rewards ? Hmmm Then you got hex 6.1.3 to hex 1. So its a pretty clear message with the 6.3 - (shame I'm a bit fuzzy about 6.3 ) but I think its to do here with following your set of values - for which you will not be rewarded. In your case I see it as your wish is for something more meaningful and you have emotional integrity here - but your integrity will have to be enough in itself since it will win you nothing.

Its up to you what you do but it would seem, even using common sense alone that continuing like this - having sex as and when you bump into him is unlikley to lead into anything more unless you actually tell him you want more,( 6.5) which could be an option. Pretendings nothing has happened and being flirtatious will only make him think you are happy with the very casual arrangement you have.

And you can't get more casual than not even exchanging numbers. By avoiding exchange of numbers seems to me pretty clear he doesn't even want friendship or even regular sex for which hed need your number.

Thank you both for your interpretations.

I'll have to ponder on them. I admit I'm a bit confused.
I'm not sure if I should point out that whenever I ask a question, I always have the short term in mind. Like what is the right course of action for me next time I do so and so. Usually, my main concern is timing. I don't know how this relationship with this man will end up - and frankly I don't really want to know now. I'd rather explore it.

Having said all that, my own interpretation was rather different but perhaps I'm biased as it concerns me personally.

El_2

el_2 said:

I decided to ask the Yi what I should do and got Hex 6, lines 3 and 5 changing (resulting hex 50). I pondered long on the answer and no"great man" being around, I asked the Yi again if next time we meet I should be friendly and flirtatious as has been the case since we've met - as if nothing had happened, that is. I got Hex 6 again with lines 1 and 3 changing (leading to Hex 1).
El_2

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6: Pleading your case. Contradictory ideas.
6.3: Influences from your past are affecting your current behavior, almost in a fated way. Try to understand why you are behaving this way.
6.5: Present your case.

50: A time for self-reflection that can lead to personal transformation. Reflect on what you are doing in this relationship.

6.1: Karcher says, "Get out of this affair ... avoid a long and bitter conflict."

1: Take charge of your life. Accept the challenge of self-transformation.

Overall impression: You may be acting out some issue from your past with this guy. The Yi is asking you to ponder your behavior and try to understand its origins so that you can transform yourself.

Hope this is helpful.

Tony

Thanks to all of you for your answers

Still a bit confused about how I should interpret the advice, I asked two more questions.

First, what will be the outcome if I go on as before next time we meet (please note, regarding the future in the short term only). I got 24.4,6 changing to 21.

Second, what if I do the opposite, i.e. not get involved at least in the physical sense (again in the short term only). I got 33 unchanging. This made a lot more sense to me. I think the message is clear here.

I'll see how it goes, but if anyone would like to volunteer an interpretation, it would be welcome too.

This really is a friendly site. Thank you all again for taking the time to answer.

El_2

I think the message is clear here.

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Could you expand a bit? What do these readings mean to you? Is there something you are going to change in your life? Something you are going to keep the same?

So I decided to ask the Yi what I should do and got Hex 6, lines 3 and 5 changing (resulting hex 50)

Line 6.3 is a warning, it says that you have let him have his way quite freely, so he is under no obligation to return.

Line 6.5 you have presented your case to us, a group of peers in this case and you have been found to be in the wrong, but don't worry as no great harm has been done and what have you really lost?

Hex 50 go about your business and all will be well,.

ben_s said:

Could you expand a bit? What do these readings mean to you? Is there something you are going to change in your life? Something you are going to keep the same?

Click to expand...

Well, I thought that 33 is pretty obvious -retreat strategically, i.e. do not act (re. the question I asked). The Return hexagram is more complicated -maybe it's because I didn't get any moving lines with 33?

As for the original question with hex 6, I wonder how you people reach these interpretations. Obviously, you're much more experienced in interpreting the Yi than I am. So, I'm still a bit confused about it, but I think I won't give it much thought. I'll see what comes out of the whole situation.

What is true is that there are issues from (my) past at play. I've been thinking about it -before using the Yi. And it seems the answers just corroborate that.

El-@

As for the original question with hex 6, I wonder how you people reach these interpretations.

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In my case, I refer to an online site that shows the text and commentary by Wilhelm, with the ability to look up the original Chinese characters. I use the Firefox browser and right-click to open the character definitions in a new tab, so I can go back and forth between the English and Chinese. Once I understand the picture or metaphor, I ponder how it might apply to the question or situation.
http://www.afpc.asso.fr/wengu/wg/wengu.php?l=Yijing&no=0

For your question here, I didn't do much pondering because the original text seemed so relevant immediately.

I realize this forum is also about giving feedback - it is an online dialogue - and that I should perhaps give more details. The problem is that I've been having problems with my internet connection and I have to access the site at work. So I don't have enough time to engage in more detailed conversation. Sorry about this. I feel it is as if I'm asking questions just to get some help with the interpretations and don't give anything back to the people who are so helpful.

Even so, whenever I find the time I'll try to be more thorough.

El_2

I'm back after a few days. Still have no internet connection at home but I have some time at work to write this. I thought I'd inform the people who are interested how things have turned out so far re. the answers I got.

First, my inquiring re. the rigth course of action (when I got 24.4,6 changing to 21 for one course of action and 33 unchanging for another) make more sense now because I didn't have the chance to act one way or another.

Hex 33 described the situation from my side, because I chose to not hang around for a while which made it hard if not impossible for us to meet. So, you can say I retreated strategically with the intention of getting involved again and see what happens.

Hex 24.4: when we finally met at the place we both hang around, I did return home alone.

Hex 24.6: we were supposed to meet again later that night and I hoped a few things would clear out but due to some minor misunderstanding re. the time we would meet(mind minor details when you get this line) I missed my chance to have a talk with him. I hope that 10 years is not literal -well, at least not too long.

Going back to Hex 6, it seems to me now that perhaps there was no serious reason for "conflict" (there are some personal details I'm leaving out here) and maybe that Retreat was not necessary or that it shouldn't have been so long-lasting (3 weeks - very early on in the affair as I said before). I'm still a bit confused about it.

Anyway, of course I asked the Yi for more answers as I had a whole lot of questions.

First question: The way the situation has so far evolved, what can I do next to turn things to my favour? I got 27.4,5 changing to 25.

Second question: taking the lead from 27.4 above I asked the Yi if it is the helper I need to consult in this situation and I got hex 42 unchanging.

Third question: re. 27.5 - I asked what sort of inadequacy the answer was referring to and how I could overcome it. I got 16.2,4 changing to hex 7 (this puzzled me more than the other answers I got).

Fourth question: I asked the Yi for a description of the situation (not advice or anything, just a description). I got 43.6 changing to hex 1.

Finally, re. 43.6, I asked how I could avoid this line, the issue(s) I have to focus on or keep in mind. I got 38.2,6 changing to hex 51.

Again I'd welcome any insight. I have some thoughts on the what the answers might mean and would love to share them with people if there are any of you out there who'd be interested in reading them.

Anyway, I thought I'd just let you know how things have evolved so far and thank you again for your input.

El_2

And sorry for the long post.

There sounds to me ,like arguments or in a way someone boasting
no matter how u look at it its friction
but 50 well that is something else, its the melting pot
i guess u argue then make love, then what

Steve

i feel like doctor who..here,,did i get transported ?

Oh it is confusing because everything is still vague. But I have to say that consulting the Yi made me think about all sorts of things. I want to avoid making presumptions and the thing I like about The Book of Changes is precisely that - it is based on the premise that circumstances change all the time and there are multiple possibilities in a moment. Things may not turn out in my favour of course but it is not the end of the world. It would be a pity though.

Also, enquiring about all these things is a good practice and I hope to get to learn more about how to interpret the answers I get. Partly this is the reason why I decided to join and make postings here. I mean apart from needing some clarification for the issue at hand.

Thank you too Steve.

I have to add an odd thing too. Re. 24.4,6 for instance, it was really disappointing things turned out this way but at the same time I was glad that the oracle was confirmed, that I got an accurate answer, if you can call it that. I still think that 24.6 could have been avoided because I resolutely don't want to believe that the course of things is predetermined. I think if you believe such a thing you may act out in a self-defeating way -I'm thinking of self-fulfilling prophecies here.

el_2

I agree that this forum group is the most patient and friendly one I have seem so far! My ex and I broke up since end Jun this year. I asked Yi: is it possible for us to get back as a couple again? I received Hexagram 6.3.5>50 .I shall attempt to read the hexagrams myself. Pls correct me if I am wrong. Hexagram 6 suggests that I am stressed with my current situation because it seems like there is no headway to my problem. There is a lack of communication between us because she has refused to reply to my message. Line 3 tells me to hold my position and not initiate any contact with her until the coast is clear. If I am able to do so, there will be good fortune. Line 5 tells me that if I am in the right, I will win. However in a relationship, who is to decide which party is in the right or wrong? Nevertheless, it seems to suggest good fortune and I can expect the 'cold war' to end in my favour. However, how long must I wait? I am getting really impatient yet I am holding my gun. Hexagram 50 shows the image of a sacrifical vessel/ crucible. It seems to suggest that the situation I am currently facing now is a test of my resolve and determination in this relationship. If I perservere, I will succeed.

I asked Yi: What sign should I look out for that indicates that the right time has arrived for action? I received Hexagram 41 unchanging which suggests compensating sacrifice. Seems tp suggest that I must 'decrease' in my attitude and how am I supposed to do that? How to let her know that I have 'decrease' my attitude? To let her know that I have changed. Previously she claimed that i was hesitant in making certain decisions. In fact, I had already made up my mind and I have 'evidence' to prove it.... albeit the ' evidence' via photos will only be released early next year.. Perhaps Yi is trying to tell me that I am ready to approach her once I am able to produce the ' evidence' that I have changed!. Please enlighten me on this issue. Thank you!

It would be better to start a new thread , this one is from 2008. It confuses respondents who often answer the original query.