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15.4,6-56

philish

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Taking a different tack today because I'm becoming aware that I don't understand how I appear to others. So tonight I asked, "How do I appear to men, generally?" 15.4,6-56.

I did not ask this because I'm attempting to recreate myself for the benefit of others' perceptions, but that I honestly do not possess a strong sense of myself. In fact, I'm usually clueless about another's attraction, never dated much and then spent 10 years in a marriage with an emotionally distant man who certainly did not offer me positive feedback about myself.

I'm no wallflower, but when it comes to how I appear to the opposite sex, I'm. So I thought I'd ask the Yi.

Is this sort of generalization question useful? And does anyone have much experience with hex 56? It doesn't sound very warm and fuzzy!
 

dobro p

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"How do I appear to men, generally?" 15.4,6-56

You downplay your attractiveness to men, so you come across as a woman who doesn't have a lot of physical confidence. You do this in a way that suggests that you're 'not on your own ground'; in other words, not really being yourself.

It's hard for a lot of women to accept themselves as they are and feel attractive in that. But I'm here to tell you that the most attractive thing a woman can be is: happy, healthy, confident in herself. Women who don't believe in their own attractiveness often come across as less attractive than they are.

Here's something to consider: the chemistry between men and women is reliable - it makes them attractive to the opposite sex (or the same sex lol) and all you have to do to access that attractiveness is welcome the chemistry that you feel in yourself. And the guys who judge a woman's attractiveness only by the visual cues supplied by the fashion and cosmetics industry are fools you don't want to have a serious relationship with.
 

willowfox

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"How do I appear to men, generally?" 15.4,6-56.

It suggests that you appear to be a very modest person, mild mannered, serious and responsible, quite self controlled and careful.

Hex 56 suggests an air of loneliness about you.
 

philish

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Ah, a sort of false modesty? I sell myself short?

This is interesting because I'm actually afraid of attracting the attention of men for the simple reason that the men I grew up around were alcoholics and/or untrustworthy. I do care for others, but I know what humans are capable of, so my interested in them is always balanced with wariness because to be receptive means (according the rules of my experience) I'm open to hurt. And men don't miss my defensiveness, apparently.

It's a sad thing, really, because on the whole I enjoy masculinity in its healthiest forms and until I married I always had several male friends. But I've rarely sought male attention outside of friendship.

Interesting. Thank you, dobro.
 

philish

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Yes, the air of loneliness. I'm a confirmed melancholic, which is better than a confirmed alcoholic. ;-)
Perhaps I need to pull out my fabulous sense of humor more often. Heh, heh!

Thank you, WF. To the right guy, those 15 attributes could mean I'm a person of substance. Somehow, I've got to cultivate within me a sense of joy to accompany that substance. I think that would reflect my best self.
 

philish

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a follow-up question

What is the first step I need to take to overcome my fear of male attention?

23.4,6--16

Does this speak to challenging my assumptions about men? Or myself? Or both?
Is the fruit that's uneaten the goodness in male/female dynamics I've overlooked? Or the goodness (what's valuable within me) that I'm overlooking? Seek that which is healthy and valuable within myself first and get excited about it? :D
 

philish

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And a last reading before I log off for the night...

What is most appealing about me? 28.4--48

So does this mean that I can bear a load without losing my bearings? hee hee hee...
 
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willowfox

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What is the first step I need to take to overcome my fear of male attention?

23.4,6--16

Enthusiasm and courage, to be more assertive, self confident, lively, exciting and daring.
 

dobro p

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What is the first step I need to take to overcome my fear of male attention?

23.4,6--16

How important is this to you? Cuz it could be scary or a bit painful, I think. 23 is about stripping it down to the bare bones, like you fillet a fish.

Detail: 23.4 talks about a raw or painful experience.

Detail: 23.6 talks about one part of you gaining something while another part of you loses something - you're going to have to let go of some part of your self-image (scary) or one or more of the defenses against men you've learned in your life.

However, 16 is about enthusiastic preparation and getting ready for something, so...

Overall: the message might be: strip away your fear enthusiastically as the way to prepare for a new chapter in your relationships with men. By the way, the Yi isn't telling to actually do that; it's telling you that's what's required if you want to overcome your fear of male attention.
 

dobro p

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And a last reading before I log off for the night...

What is most appealing about me? 28.4--48

So does this mean that I can bear a load without losing my bearings? hee hee hee...

You can bear a load without collapsing. You've got the strength to go the distance.
 

philish

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How important is this to you? Cuz it could be scary or a bit painful, I think. 23 is about stripping it down to the bare bones, like you fillet a fish.

You're absolutely right. But I cannot think of a more apt metaphor for this past year. Filleted, indeed. And not just about my relationships with men--my self concept, my faith, everything. It's not all bad because I know it's part of the process to become a tastier dish. ;) A very "cauldron" year, the crucible of change.

But before the dish can get served, the prep work must be done! O! for a sous chef! :rofl: The work must be done by me, though.

Thank you, dobro and willowfox. I'm off to the salt mines now...;)
 

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