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Help With New, Possible Romantic, Interest

ddely

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I'm very confused about a couple answers I got tonight.

I recently met a man that I'm very interested in. He was quite obvious about being attracted to me, and had no problems letting me know. He asked me out several times over the course of three days (we were at a conference), but I made excuses not to go all but one of the times when I created a situation where we went with 2 other people instead of alone. I know I sent mixed signals ranging from being interested in him to just being friendly and nice. I felt apprehensive for two reasons:

1. because I was heartbroken for a long time over someone (whom I posted about a few weeks ago), but this man is the first one in a long time that has really gotten my interest.

2. and while I don't work with him at all, he's closely associated with colleagues that I do work with from time to time and I was concerned how it would be perceived by them.

I asked the IC, "What will be the outcome if I send X an email?" I got 47.4

Then I asked, "How will X respond if I send him an email?" I got 20 changing to 26

Then I thought I would leave it up to fate and asked the IC, "Will X try to contact me if I don't initiate contact?" I got 10.4.6 changing to 60

Please help me to understand the IC's responses because I don't see how they fit with my questions. Any help will be so appreciated.
 
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diamanda

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Hi ddely,

What will be the outcome if I send X an email?
47.4>29

47 - it is not favourable to use words.
47:4 - one of you (or even both of you) will feel oppressed.
29 - danger.
All this is telling you not to email him.

How will X respond if I send him an email?
20, lines 1,2,3,5, to 26

Either he is not thinking straight, he will misunderstand you, and will
most probably not reply (26, restraint). Or you are not thinking straight
about this situation, and you have to restrain yourself and hold back.

Will X try to contact me if I don't initiate contact?
10.4.6 changing to 60

I don't think so... If he does, it will be in a very restrained way, and
the result will be limited (60). I'm sorry to say that it seems nothing
will come out of the situation between you two.

From what you said it sounds as if he's not shy in the slightest, so
if he really liked you and really wanted more from you, he'd have no
problem to pursue this further. But from the answers (and from facts
themselves too) he doesn't seem further interested. So, you did well
to be cautious. Wishing you good luck with the next one :)
 

willowfox

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I asked the IC, "What will be the outcome if I send X an email?" I got 47.4 > 29

The line says that you have doubts whether this is a good course of action or not, and hence your pondering but it says to go ahead and email him. Take the bit between your teeth and go for it.

Then I asked, "How will X respond if I send him an email?" I got 20.1,2,3,5 changing to 26

I think that he will be pleased to hear from you and will respond.

Then I thought I would leave it up to fate and asked the IC, "Will X try to contact me if I don't initiate contact?" I got 10.4.6 changing to 60

It seems that he is going to be rather cautious about making first contact, as he does not want to mess up the affair, like in making a fool of himself as he is not sure about your feelings for him, as you seem to have acted in a reserved manner toward him. So it is down to you to initiate the first move.
 

Tohpol

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LOL no wonder people get confused when there are such completely different takes.....

I personally think, like diamanda, it all suggests it's not going to be very productive (restraint, limitation, right behaviour, contemplation, exhaustion etc.) but I might have missed the deeper emphasis. Maybe take the average Ddely and trust your own judgment. :D

And let us know what happens - it's so useful to have feeback as it enriches the understanding of the I Ching.

Topal
 

rosada

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47.4 You felt Oppressed at the conference with all your co-workers watching the show so you didn't respond as enthusiastically as you would have liked.
29. If you email him now be sure you're ready to keep going, no more playing hard to get.
20.1.2.3.5/26 If you do email him, it may be a good gambit to ask him a question. 20>26 sounds like getting to know each other and sending information back and forth.
10 > 60 If you don't email him I think he will not put more energy into this. He's reached his limits.
 

ddely

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Thank you all so much for your responses. I decided not to email him, but rather I left him a phone message about an hour ago asking him to return my call. Not being sure, I thought it might be best, this way I can "guage" his tone and responsiveness...and this leaves me with an "out" with a work related question in the event he does not seem interested, rather than just throwing myself out there with typed words.

If anyone else has any input, I'd love to hear it!
 

ddely

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Hi!

I just got off the phone with him. I wasn't sure at first even though he was friendly and receptive, so I went right into the work question, but after that he started talking about personal stuff...as if he wanted to keep the conversation going....asking me questions, talking about the conference, complimenting me quite a few times, etc. It wasn't an out and out "this is how I feel" conversation, but the attraction was defintely there on both our parts. He said a few times how he wished we had gone out together, but that next conference we are no matter what, and he wants to keep in touch with me. He really seemed every bit as interested as he did at the conference and I showed interest without trying to seem too "forward". We talked about 15-20 minutes, then at the first sign of the "awkward pause", I ended the phone call, telling him to feel free to call me whenever he'd like.

Afterwards, I asked the IC:

How does X feel about our conversation? I got 6.4.6 > 29

When will I hear from X again? I got 31.1.4.6 > 37

Does X want to pursue a relationship with me? I got 27 no changing lines

How would you interpret these? I had thought positively, but given that the first one is conflict, I'm not so sure. Please help me to understand.
 

willowfox

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How does X feel about our conversation? I got 6.4.6 > 29

The lines suggest that he wanted more from the conversation, it suggests that he wanted a better response from you, like you would jump at his implied invitation for a date, so he felt victorious at the time but now with hindsight he realizes that he still has not really got any further with you. Hex 29 says that he feels that he has passed a supreme test of courage because you have talked to him because he was very unsure what your attitude toward him actually was before this.

When will I hear from X again? I got 31.1.4.6 > 37

Soon because he knows he needs to make a date with you.

Does X want to pursue a relationship with me? I got 27 no changing lines

Yes.
 

ddely

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Thank you so much, willowfox.

So if I understand the first answer correctly....he had hoped for a more intimate conversation, but 29 says that, even so, the conversation we had was enough to let him know that I'm attarcted to him, too. So I shouldn't be concerned that he might still think I'm not interested?
 

willowfox

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Yes, I meant intimate.

I believe that he is getting the message so don't hold yourself back anymore.

Hex 29 is about facing your fears with courage.
 

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