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Not Getting It....

P

peace

Guest
Hi there:

I asked a few questions - none of which I really "get" in relation to the situation - which is a little unusual for me (unless I don't want to Get It). Must be one of those times.

I had some dreams last night and woke up with a headache - so I asked...What is the meaning of the dreamwork last night?

I got 24 - changing lines 1 and 6.
Second hex is 23

What I got from that is - hold to what I know is right and don't miss the time to change. By being too aggressive, all can be hurt and good things will deteriorate.

Any other ideas??

-------------------
Then, I asked about a trip I'm taking this weekend to Florida - and I don't really want to go. My father is having an 80th birthday party and I feel ambivalent about going but that I SHOULD.

I asked: What to focus on in Florida.

I got - 28, changing lines 3 and 6.
Second hex is 6.

I think it means weighted times - will be exhausting due to too many obstacles and if I don't follow advice (from who???) things will be difficult and there will be conflict (internal or external????)

Well - if anyone is available and cares to help me make sense of these, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks,
Rosalie
 
R

rosada

Guest
What to focus on in Florida?

The ridgepole sags to the breaking point.
It furthers one to have somewhere to go.
Success.

Too much of anything causes imbalances. Universal law, which is the great equalizer, then causes failing, sagging, or breaking or employs another means for reducing power or excess. If there is anything you can do to moderate the use of power and reduce the excesses, good fortune will be yours. The lower trigram, Sun, indicates that gentleness is used in reducing the excess, and the upper trigram, T'ui, indicates that you are to be joyful.

28.3 The use of power or indulging in excesses has gone too far. The situation will not tolerate such abuses. There is danger of an imminent collapse. No support comes from friends or associates.

Hmmm...so far sounds like you should be aware of situations where things have gone too far. Your dad is 80. Is he doing things that are not healthy? Perhaps it will fall on you to bring up subjects no one else is willing to talk about - like, should he still be driving, or does he need to lay off the cigarettes, the booze or the double hot fudge sundaes? This line, however, doesn't sound like you'll get much support if you voice your concerns about such problems.

28.6
One must go through the water.
It goes over one's head.
Misfortune. No blame.

This line also seems to indicate that you may notice things that need to be dealt with, and again that you're not going to be able to put things right, but even though you aren't validated, it appears it is appropriate that you let your concerns be known.

6.
Conflict.
All about meeting opponents half way and seeking guidance from a qualified person.

Still thinking you may see things that perhaps the older folks are in denial about. If he wont listen to you, you may need to get Dad to schedule an appointment with someone who's advice he would listen to.
 
P

peace

Guest
Thanks for helping me Rosada.

I just wrote a long response - and it disappeared.

The reading threw me - as I didn't think much about the trip.
I planned to let him and my mother do their little dance and mind my own business.
He suffers from back pain. She feels she should stay home with him, then feels resentful - then goes out and feels guilty.

Anyway, the sagging ridgepole - you're right, I'll have no support and I shouldn't expect it - or get angry. It would do no good. So - I can avoid an external and internal conflict if I keep things superficial and not get into anything with them.
I don't feel the need to tell them anything. I've already said it all over the years - they are who they are (and I guess I'm who I am too!)

There will be other people to be with and it is only for the weekend.

Thanks.
Rosalie
 
R

rosada

Guest
Back trouble, sigh, that sounds like a "sagging ridgepole" right there! Perhaps the hexagrams are just discribing the whole situation, your dad's back pain, and the resulting Conflict your mother feels.
Let us know how it goes, perhaps the hexagram will take on additional meaning in hindsight.

Rosada
 
P

peace

Guest
Interesting. The "sagging ridgepole" never occurred to me to be his back. Very astute!
Perhaps we all need to strengthen our backbones!
 

void

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Rosalie maybe these answers say you are taking on a bit too much ? As far as the dream stuff goes I get the feeling of let them go and go back to sleep. Don't rehash the past (line 6)when the time is over, stop overanalysing.

The 28 too says you yourself are overloaded at the moment. For me 'water going over the head' generally indicates being overwhelmed with unmanageable emotions to the extent that there may be a mental crises, ie much upset, depression etc, or losing it and venting on people you normally wouldn't simply because you are overstretched - a bit like a toddler who needs to go to bed but lashes out everyone instead.

I think if I were you I might ask if you are up to going to Florida. You say you don't want to and by and large I think ones inclinations are pretty good guidelines for whats best for you. I think your first interpretation was right
<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

will be exhausting due to too many obstacles ...things will be difficult and there will be conflict<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>

Last year I visited someone I thought I 'should' when I really didn't want to. Result was pretty unpleasant and looking back I think it would have been so much better to pay attention to my feelings and simply not go. Still I guess your dads 80th is a pretty big occasion, so if he would be hurt its hard not to go.

Maybe if you do go be extra nice to yourself the whole trip, leaving yourself lots of time for rest and maybe some fun too
wink.gif
 
P

peace

Guest
Thanks.
My mom called today and asked if I'd talk about some "Good times with my father."
I said, "No - didn't feel like it."
There are four others to do that - who I'm sure would love to please.

That's the stress of being with my family. It's never enough, no matter what you do.
So - I feel good I'm drawing the line. Yeah, it wouldn't have killed me to say something at the party - but had I said yes, then there would be 20 other things requested that she knows I wouldn't want to do. Personally, I think it's enough that I'm going.

Families!!!
 
R

rosada

Guest
Asking you to give a little motivational speech about the "Good Times"? Oh boy, wouldn't that just be the straw to break the sagging ridgepole?!
Take some Bach Flower Rescue Remedy before, during and after, carry a bell in your purse (the feng shui tip for gauranteeing your word will be heard) and astrologically the line up of planets is nicer on Saturday daytime so make the rounds then and be a fly on the wall after that.
Whatever happens, remember you are smoothing the road ahead for all of us, contributing to the Higher Library of Knowledge of How to Successfully Negotiate Weekends with The Parents.
Go for it, Champ! Hit one for the Gipper! (or perhaps "hit the Gipper"? no, no, cancel, cancel) We're rooting for you!
 
P

peace

Guest
Hey - don't ask me. I've been working on it for years. (What's a gipper??)

Anything new to report on your father's possible move?

Well - going to pack...

Ro
 
R

rosada

Guest
Thanks for asking, no news, but I'm no longer seeing his not coming for a visit as meaning anything significant (as in, "If you really loved me you'd ..."). Meanwhile he still wants to take a road trip but the wife isn't interested and she's made the horribly restrictive - he feels - requirement that he call home at least once a night. I said to him, "Dad, you are 88 and the way you drive I'd want you to call home every half hour," but he's still feeling like a dog on a leash and so far I don't see any trip happening.

Parents!!!!

Ronald Reagan was in a movie back in the 59's where he was a coach or something and his nick name was "The Gipper" and I guess at the end of the movie he's dying or something and the team is urged to "hit one for The Gipper!" Later when Reagan became president this phrase became popular again.

Onward!
 
R

rosada

Guest
Hi Rosalie,
I wonder if you have any insights/hindsights to share about 28.3.6 - 6?

Enquiring minds want to know!
Rosada
 

void

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Yes I was wondering too. It would be really interesting to know how that played out, but only if you want to of course.
 
P

peace

Guest
Thanks for asking.

It actually went great.
I think I really took the interpretations of I Ching and your fabulous advice - and went with the correct mindset.

I said to myself - "Be careful. Don't indulge in emotions. You're there for a specific purpose. Be appropriate. It's not about you, so do what makes sense without putting yourself at risk."

It was great. I accepted that some relationships I have with some of the family are superficial - and didn't try to change that. With them, I was chatty - no deep discussions.

I didn't answer my mother when she was intrusive and she appeared to get the message. I didn't get angry or annoyed if someone said something I wished they hadn't.

I was the only one of the four of us who didn't speak - actually ten people said things and that was fine. I don't have to be the perfect daughter and I realized, if I don't do what they want, I'm not going to be rewarded....and you know what, that's accepting reality also - there are consequences and so what? I'm not the perfect daughter. It's time not to care. It's the reality. I don't want to be and therefore, I shouldn't expect to be treated as if I am.

Basically, I thought about "weighted times" and decided not to cause myself undue stress.

So, it was good and I was relaxed.

Thanks again for asking.

Rosalie
 
R

rosada

Guest
You are an inspiration to us all, Rosalie!
I found your feedback of how the weekend actually went very helpful for understanding the I Ching. We often talk about whether the I Ching predicts the future as it must inevitably be, or if the advice it gives can really make a differance. In this case anyway, it seems that the guidance it gave you really made a differance. Knowing the situation now, I would now say that 28 was refering to the burdensome requests, but the judgement actually says, "It furthers one to have somewhere to go. Success." So although I didn't see it at the time, it seems the I Ching knew you were wondering if you should go and was encouraging you to make the trip. Likewise, I think now that 28.3 also was encouraging you not to be so firm that you break, not to be obstinant and refuse the I Ching's advice and refuse to go. 28.6 however, supported you in your decision not to speak. You had to do what was right for you, to be true to yourself even if it meant giving up being the Perfect Daughter, and thus there was "No blame."
Now what I think is really encouraging is that this hexagram changed to 6. Conflict. I would have thought this meant conflict was inevitable, but then when we read The Image we see that theI Ching shows us a negative fate is not inevitable at all:
"In all transactions the superior man
Carefully considers the beginning."
You made it clear from the beginning that you were not going to speak or be bullied in anyway, and, voila!,
"the cause of conflict is removed in advance"!

Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us Rosalie. I am always amazed how the I Ching will say things very specifically, but I don't see them until after the fact.( I'm refering to the 28."It furthers one to have somewhere to go" line)
But the real lesson I get from this is seeing how the Image advices really can guide one through the situation.
Fabulous!
 
P

peace

Guest
Thanks.
I actually do use the I Ching in this way almost always. In fact, that is my purpose in using it.
I'm not very much into predicting the future but I use it to see what I can do to disarm a current or potentially dangerous or conflictual situation and seeing my contribution to it and how I can do something ahead of time. Of course, it doesn't always work and I don't always want to understand the message.

I asked some questions earlier today about my business - and have changed my mindset about some decisions I made about that.

Anyway...it's fun for me.

Rosalie
 

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