Hello everyone...I'm new and quite humbled by these posts.

I'm in my 40s (married for 20 years) and in love with a man whose been married for 26 yrs. Long story, but the feelings have been strong and mutual. I've never experienced love for a man quite as powerfully, on so many different levels.

He's very conservatively religious, and we haven't let things progress, although our bond seems to be intensifying on more subtle levels, and our friendship deepening. Things seem kind of impossible, though.

I've received hexagram 61 three times re. him in the past few days, which seems pretty significant. I would love some help deciphering the meaning of this.

The first question was "Why is he confused about our relationship?"
I got 61.1.2 (changing to 20)

The second yesterday was "How does he feel about me?"
I got 61, unchanging

Today I asked "What does he see the future of our relationship as being?'
61.5.6 (changing to 19)

What do you think?

Many thanks,
trudi

How could it continue this way?

61.1.2: I think he loves talking with you. You have an understanding rapport that has really benefited him, because before he started speaking with you, he really was not speaking with anyone. He was quite alone. He knows he is benefiting from this relationship with you, so he has taken a "wait and see" attitude.

61.5.6: But since he is a very conservatively religious man, he will become more concerned about whether or not this relationship is right, according to the tenets of his religion. For the future, he sees that he will need to decrease his involvement and practice self-control. He is thinking: How can this continue for long?

Hexagram 61 is concerned with honesty and trustworthiness, inside and out.

Hexagram 61, 2nd line moving, is a beautiful state to be in. I feel like that when I'm talking with my family doctor, but that appointment only lasts a few minutes maybe once or twice a year. My relationship with my doctor has built-in limits.

Maybe you could ask the Yi about what is the best attitude you might adopt towards such a man.

heart/spirit connection w/61

Thank you, Barbra. Everything you said seems quite accurate...

I know the situation can't continue this way, and I've already decided that I can't continue taking this ongoing class at the college where he's an instructor.

I guess what I'm looking for is some solace to help me through this; that there is this connection that time and space can't break. That even if I don't see him or communicate with him anymore, that the heart/spirit connection lives on between us. Might 61 in any of my throws indicate that? Does anyone have any insight re. that kind of a connection w/61?

I did follow your advice Barbra, and asked what attitude I should take toward him, and got --gulp-- 29.1. That seems an apt description of where I'm at. It feels as though I'm in mourning.

Thank you again for your help. Blessings!

29.1>60

So incredibly deep, like falling hopelessly into a pit. Yet the Yi is telling you that your goal is to regulate yourself. For example, regulate the amount of time you spend talking or thinking about this man. Set limits to your involvement in this relationship. Don't go where he is expected to be. We all live in the social context of other people. Falling in love with a college instructor . . . isn't that a stage in everyone's journey? In large part the passion is possible because the man is not actually available.

trudi said:

I guess what I'm looking for is some solace to help me through this; that there is this connection that time and space can't break. That even if I don't see him or communicate with him anymore, that the heart/spirit connection lives on between us. Might 61 in any of my throws indicate that? Does anyone have any insight re. that kind of a connection w/61?

Click to expand...

Hi Trudy,

I've had a 61 relationship with someone for several years. 61.2, to be specific. The reading is even documented somewhere in the dark archives of this forum. It's a blessed relationship in so many ways, mutually, but there are severe limits that divide us. That's why birds sing that certain song. Sometimes it is the restriction of circumstances which focuses attention on things more enduring - something mutually enjoyed.

You are afraid, I gather from your reaction to 29.1, and there's reason for setting of limits. However, not galling limits. There's obviously something of value in this relationship. Part of 60 has to do with compartmentalizing, finding a place for each thing in ones life. Limits are the means from which things grow in a certain way, and learning is a meaning of 29. My advise is to work within your means.

61 relationships

Thank you, Barbara and Meng, truly.

29.1, yes a deep, dark pit. You both understood my fear, and whereas 60 did nothing but reinforce that fear at the time, you two have helped me look at it w/less trepidation.

(As an aside, but one that may benefit some people, I'd like to share a story sparked by reading one of the threads last week. Someone mentioned a book about healing w/out Freud & prozac. I went to the author's website and found something about EMDR. I thought this might be a therapy that could help me, and called some #s of therapists on the EMDR website. I decided to go with the third person I called, because she could take me soonest. I didn't know 'til I saw her that she did her dissertation on "limerance" (term coined for falling in love), and has taught classes at a local university on romantic love. Very serendipitous, all starting with following a lead. She lent me a book by Dorothy Tennov, called "Love & Limerance: the Experience of Being in Love," which I highly recommend for those wanting a greater understanding of the overwhelming state.)

What has uplifted me most was Meng's commentary about a "61 relationship." I may have come across your previous reading Meng, and it likely encouraged me to post my own thread. I wish I could find it again. I don't mean to pry, but have an intense desire to grasp the (61) quality of the heart/spirit connection in relationship to another, where it stood/stands with you, and how you came through it.

It would be so lovely to read about others' experiences with 61 relationships. Would any of you care to elaborate? I'm sure it would enrich the experience of the hexagram in general. I feel certain it will help me reframe my experience in particular.

We do indeed live in the social context of others, and I am fortunate to have found myself in this one (online clarity).

Blessings ~

The Opened Heart

Is romantic love between two people really the highest form of love? Not in my experience. There are many other forms of love that are more abundant, honest, and steadfast. Like the love of a dedicated doctor for all his patients equally. Like the love of an inspired teacher for all his students equally.