In looking through the archive for interpretive assistance on this reading, it would seem 23.3 is not typically understood to be a neutral/positive line in an ominous hexagram.

I received it in response to a question re: how to behave toward a friend whose behavior has been puzzling me.

After consulting multiple translations, I've concluded this line is not predicting the end of our relationship (which I might take from line 6, for example) but rather an indication there are undermining elements & related complications.

It would be great to hear "real life" anecdotes about this line, if there are any out there. Hexagram 23 I always find a hard pill to swallow.

re: how to behave toward a friend whose behavior has been puzzling me.
Hi adarkana
You see your friends behaviour as puzzling, but not enough to bring about an end to the relationship. This reading is I think giving you some good pointers on how you are behaving within the relationship now and where you might like to look to make the relationship less troublesome for you.

The choices here are very much personal to you and being able to see beyond the face value of what is going on. Looking at your post you have a good inkling of what needs to change. Trust yourself. Other "real life" anecdotes may actually be taking you down the wrong path.

Blessings

Mike

To thine own self be true.

23.3 is about not falling in with the practices of those around you that undermine your higher ideals. There is a sense that you must limit your involvement.
How completely you ought to "split with them" probably depends on the issue. If it's something simple, like you being a vegetarian and refusing to eat meat even while others do, than probably you do not have to end the friendship. On the other hand, if the issue is your friend is somehow negative and you feel somehow obligated to fall in with their way of thinking, this line encourages you to keep your distance and if necessary leave.

I got 23.3 when it was really time to leave a job behind. Not so easy with a friend and maybe not even completely necessary..

.but I tend to side with Rosada, sometimes there are reasons to "split" with friends even if not entirely, just to gain some perspective, re-establish boundaries, or feel yourself for who you are alone before resuming relationship.

This could be sort of what you were saying anyway...taking some time to sort out any tension between you, but not necessarily doing this with her; you might need to reexamine the role you assume when you are with her and decide if you need/want to change that role, maybe have less contact, and reassess what she means to you. does she fill your needs for frendship?

if your friend is being difficult, perhaps it is best to split with her, until such timeas she can be honest about her friendship to you.i have recent situation with a friend, who seemed to suddenly stop calling me...and we had talked all the time...i suspect the reason is that I told her something she didnt want to hear about her daughter who needed help and my friend got defensive. then it seemed she got angry and stopped speaking to me, only in drips and drabs, clearlynot the same.

my feeling was to break with her for awhile, regain my perspective. it felt hrtful to me at first, but when I stood alone, i could understand the defensiveness she has for her daughter, but Iwasnt sure i wanted to apologize, bcause i hadnt said anything untrue. I also had to decide if the friendship could go on. Can i live with stalemate just because of an honest exchange. I expect honesty in return, not just silence. so took steps back, and am taking a break. maybe we will talk it out, and maybe not if the stalemate continues. sometimes friendships dont work well after awhile, and it ok to retreat. doesnt need to be forever.

I've been asked via PM to provide a follow-up to this 23.3 reading I received seven years ago. The passage of so much time permits dispassionate hindsight, but also makes for lapsed memory -- I don't recall which specific behavior on the part of my friend prompted this query. However, as his conduct never became less puzzling, I can at least comment on how I now see this response in light of the relationship.

I had known the person in question at the time of this query for just under a year; we were in the very earliest stage of becoming physically close. The affinity seemed remarkable to me, certainly for a time mutually so. Yet even in the honeymoon period there were odd hesitations on his part, which I could not in my own eagerness understand -- I could not imagine *not* wanting what we seemed naturally to have.

This reading pointed me, I think, to a truth I found almost impossible to accept. The vacillation between intimacy & exclusion would be the fundamental emotional pattern of the entire affair, not a temporary challenge to my happiness. He would cite a hierarchy of obligations -- ailing relatives, persistent exes, professional pressure etc. -- in a way that made me imagine these were the 23.3 "inferior" elements from which he might be swayed to split; later, I could see they were really diversions he himself cultivated, absolving him (or at least his conscience) from any claim I might make to "superior" significance.

In some way I understand 24.3 as a benign inversion of this dynamic. Parting & returning can be sweet sorrow, but these 23.3 struggles were the bitterest of my life.

Thank you for this post, it resonated really strongly for me:
23.3 "inferior" elements from which he might be swayed to split; later, I could see they were really diversions he himself cultivated, absolving him.
Failure to commit. I knew it but pretended for years . But your thread helped me let go a bit, stop looking for reasons why. There are probably a million. I needed that, thank you for returning to your thread :bows: