hex 41, lines 1&2 changing to 23 in terms of a relationship (an important tie)

this seems like a double negative to me. both talk about removing something unhealthy, whether it's negative feelings or a person who is not good for you.

there is something however positive about 41, line 2 (according to karcher), but overall, these two hexagrams together seem VERY NEGATIVE.

Would I be reading this correct (a few ideas are running through my head):

--(23 as the background) an unstable unusable situation, in which it is best for all to (41) decrease involvement. (basically: let go)

--OR does it mean, a way of relating is no longer productive/outdated (23), so it is best to decrease the feelings (41) which lend to these negative pattern of interaction. (bascially: change your thoughts/ideas and the situation will better itself)

I tend to be very negative when interpreting IC. I guess it's a self defense type of thing. "think the worst, hope for the best."

Am I missing something?

The problem here is the vagueness of your question, something to do with a relationship, like what exactly?

Line 41.1 says that helping another is really a nice thing to do but don't smother the person that you are supposed to be helping.

Line 41.2 says don't let yourself become a servant to the other person that you are helping.

thanks Willowfox.

I asked "what his perspective was?" and then I asked "If there was anything I should know about us?" and received the SAME toss. I am currently not speaking to this friend due to a dumb alcohol induced fight that endured. neither of us came forward and admitted wrongdoing, although we both played a part (STUBBORN).

but since we are in the same industry, we are forced to see each other at events....so I took the double toss 41.1.2 to mean it was the current state of my situation with him.

When we are at these events, we are very cordial to one another, and chit chat about everything under the sun except our conflict. I miss him and want to go back to our former friendship, and I FEEL that he does too, and so it's sort of a cat and mouse game. Or I could be off base and completely delusional while interpreting his cordial behavior.

It is time to try and see about renewing your friendship but you both have to meet each other half way.

it's now 2011....what this hexagram ended up meaning was...feelings had decreased and that whatever was negative needed to be pruned...in this case, it was the entire relationship...We are now just friends and in a much better place, as a result.