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Why guys that I find attractive do not approach me?

T

tali

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Hi!

The pre-history of this question is basically I used to compromise alot,
by being in the relationship with men I didn't consider attractive, \
just not to be alone. My ego can't take it anymore! People do tell me I'm quite an attractive girl, but....My life experience is quite sad so far.

Hence several questions:

Is it worth for me to get involved in the Internet dating?

52.2.-> 18, I guess no

Am I good-looking enough to get the man I want?

27.5 ->42, no again?

Is my fate to never get the man I want?

23.1 - >27

What kind of plastic surgery do I need to get ?

45, no changing lines


Any insights? Sorry if this sounds crazy, I guess I just can't take it anymore ....
 

willowfox

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Is it worth for me to get involved in the Internet dating?

52.2.-> 18

I think it is kind of dangerous as there are really a lot of sharks out there just waiting to bite you.

Am I good-looking enough to get the man I want?

27.5 ->42,

Well, the line suggests that you know yourself that you are not perfect but like many things, with help this can be changed and then later you can indeed go after a man that take your fancy.


Is my fate to never get the man I want?

23.1 - >27

Look at line 23.1 it indicates that for the moment and the near future your luck is out and it tells you to wait until things change for the better.

What kind of plastic surgery do I need to get ?

45, no changing lines

The hex indicates yes you need a few nips and tucks, sure, so I would presume facial and tummy perhaps?
 
T

tali

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Thanks a lot!

Wrt, why do you think I need any plastic surgery?
It says see the great man. It may be anyone, a shrink for instance.

Also why face and tummy???
 

parasio

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Thanks a lot!

Wrt, why do you think I need any plastic surgery?
It says see the great man. It may be anyone, a shrink for instance.

Also why face and tummy???

Any plastic surgery is useless to attract the right guys! First you have to love yourself. Real Erotism doesn't depend on your cup size or on your hook nose, it depends on your personality.

I think a shrink would be the better alternative ;-)
 

my_key

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Tali
It's clear from your questions that your thoughts are causing you a lot of distress at the moment. The experiences that you have had in life make you feel sad. Lots of people have these sort of thoughts and feelings and deal with them in many diverse ways. Just to pick up on your question about plastic surgery. I disagree with WF's conclusion that plastic surgery is necessary. I would also urge you to think carefully about what parasio has said to you about loving yourself. This is very important to understand.

For me 45 is about pulling things together, all the different feelings and thoughts you are having. Make sense of them and collect them together so that you can become better prepared to take a huge step forward. There is a sense of confusion that has to be overcome, a need to not do anything rash and then you'll have set the foundations for things to be on the up.

Remember that there is help and support that you can seek if you feel that you are not able to face the confusion alone.

Take Care

Mike
 
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T

tali

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Parasio, Mike!

You are amazing :)) Thank you both for your support!
God knows, I truly need it right now.
You both are dead on, I have to admit...

Plus if you think about it, no one really "needs" the plastic surgery, it's always elective.
So my question even was not correct, in a way.

Yes, Mike, you are right, I'm very sad, and I do realize I'm not the only
person who has problems...Unfortunately, that does not me feel better.

So I'm on my way to really love myself, inspite of all imperfections...
Is it the way we love others?
 

my_key

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So I'm on my way to really love myself, inspite of all imperfections...
Is it the way we love others?

Tali
It's good to hear that you are on your way to really loving yourself. This is a really good place to start.

Is it the way we love others?
Great question......however only you can answer that question for you.
What do you think is the answer?

Mike
 
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bamboo

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Hi Tali,
There's a great (old) book entitled Psycho-cybernetics http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=psychocybernetics&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq=&aqi=

written by an MD , Maxwell Maltz who was a plastic surgeon. He noticed that his patients still thought of themselves poorly even after plastic surgery, which was supposed to make them have a new self-image. so he wrote the book, a method for changing your inner dynamics.

45 is sometimes called Gathering, also Healing. It seems reflective of the process in Dr Maltz' book. Becoming congruent in your thoughts/feelings/actions/desires. It is a book I found worth reading! all the best to you.
 

willowfox

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What kind of plastic surgery do I need to get ?

45, no changing lines

"Wrt, why do you think I need any plastic surgery?
It says see the great man. It may be anyone, a shrink for instance."

Why? Because you asked the question what plastic surgery do I need to get? Go read your post again and not get me into any more trouble than necessary.
 

willowfox

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Tali
Just to pick up on your question about plastic surgery. I disagree with WF's conclusion that plastic surgery is necessary.

Mike

Mike, look at her first post, she was the one that asked "what kind of plastic surgery do I need", and I just followed her lead, as obviously she had at the time of asking the question realized that it was necessary.

When one looks good externally, one feels good internally, it boosts one's confidence. Look at handsome men and beautiful women, they have real power at their command.
 

parasio

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It certainly would be in your case, so keep the hook nose it suits you.

I see you are back, so you can give me answer:

After being continually attacked for two years one does indeed become fed up and aggressive towards any new treats, perceived or otherwise.
Are you the only one being continually attacked? Or do you know another "victim"?



One starts really becoming paranoid over every single word and innuendo, and I have. So, now, if I feel that someone is at me again, then my response is to fight. Don't blame me for what I have become, look to your actions and words against me over the past couple of years, you lot are my creators.
Do I understand well? You are saying, the others are responsible for your behaviour?


There is a core group here who have being doing their best to belittle me and get me throw off this forum, they nearly succeeded twice. Now it seems people are again putting on the pressure. I tell you right now, I am not here to please or whatever the so called "board members", I am here to help the folks who have a problem.
Why they want to belittle you and throw off this forum?
 

parasio

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Maxwell Maltz who was a plastic surgeon. He noticed that his patients still thought of themselves poorly even after plastic surgery, which was supposed to make them have a new self-image. so he wrote the book, a method for changing your inner dynamics.

Look on poor Michael Jackson. The money and fame didn't help him to overcome his horrible childhood, neither did the plastic surgery.

Understanding the inner dynamics helps to get rid of old patterns which make you feel unworthy etc.
 
M

meng

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I read/practiced Psycho-cybernetics around the late 80's, found it very helpful for overcoming some inner, self-created road blocks.
 

rodaki

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ok, so now I have to ask:
What is Psycho-cybernetics?:rolleyes:
 

rodaki

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oh yes, I got it right here

you can look at the outside but what you're looking for is inside . . .
 
M

meng

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Dora,

It is a navigational devise. The idea is that: you are here "X" and want to go there "X", you can do so in the most efficient way through many small course corrections, vs say wide, sweeping course corrections. But of course none of that matters if you have no destination. There's no course to correct, in that case. So, Psycho-cybernetics can also help to find that goal, primarily through visualization: seeing yourself doing what you find pleasure in doing, and enjoying the benefits of it. In this sense, it is discovering an appetite for accomplishments, which gives us the goal and destination to aim for, thereby fulfilling a sense of purpose and productivity.
 

rodaki

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I think I can understand what you are saying Bruce . . and I agree in small corrections being more substantial. It can also be though that the accumulation of small corrections might look like big change to others . .
I was only referring to Tali's questions about finding balance and peace with herself. Reconciling inner and outer image works better by tending to the inside and often by doing that the image we project changes, slowly but profoundly. Being uncomfortable with how we look like almost never really concerns the image in the mirror (talking from experience here) . .
 

my_key

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Mike, look at her first post, she was the one that asked "what kind of plastic surgery do I need", and I just followed her lead, as obviously she had at the time of asking the question realized that it was necessary.

When one looks good externally, one feels good internally, it boosts one's confidence. Look at handsome men and beautiful women, they have real power at their command.

Hello Willowfox
OK that's fine that you followed Tali's lead - You chose to answer in your way I in mine.
Just to be clear - It certainly wasn't obvious to me that Tali had realised that it was necessary. Surgery may well be on the cards, but perhaps not of the plastic kind. I guess that is the beauty of ua all offering such diverse readings - we do get into the depth of the matter.

Although I respect your viewpoint I do struggle to walk side by side with you on the other comments you have made:

"When one looks good externally, one feels good internally" I would turn it on its head, the internal feel good drives the goodness of the external image.

"Look at handsome men and beautiful women, they have real power at their command." That may well be, however are you saying also by inference ugly people have no real power at their command. What an interesting concept.

My Mum used to tell me that "beauty was only skin deep"; so I guess that is where my filters are stemming from.

Take Care

Mike
 
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willowfox

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Maybe you remember your teenage days, wasn't it horrible to have a spot or spots on your face, you just wanted to stay at home, you lost all confidence to even talk with the lady in the corner shop. You felt bad.

So, if she looks a million dollars then she will indeed get the man of her choice. Appearances in life do matter, I know that for a fact.
 

parasio

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So, if she looks a million dollars then she will indeed get the man of her choice. Appearances in life do matter, I know that for a fact.

No, this isn't sure. Maybe the man of her choice is in love with an other person. Or he doesn't like her character although she is the most beautiful woman on earth.

A lot of man are threatend by beautiful women, they feel insecure etc.

And love doesn't depend only on external apperances. Neither for men nor for women.
 

heylise

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Beauty does attract lots of men. But not necessarily the one you can be happy with for a long time.

If you think you need plastic surgery, then it might be a good idea to ask the Yi why you think so, or if you really need it, or simply what you should know about it.

Yi said 45, no lines. Hex.45 is about gathering around you what really belongs to you. I don't think that plastic surgery can add anything to you which is really you. On the contrary, it will take away part of 'you'. So I think 45 is a warning: stay who you really are, so you attract what really can shape your own life.
 

my_key

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Maybe you remember your teenage days, wasn't it horrible to have a spot or spots on your face, you just wanted to stay at home, you lost all confidence to even talk with the lady in the corner shop. You felt bad.

So, if she looks a million dollars then she will indeed get the man of her choice. Appearances in life do matter, I know that for a fact.

Hi Willowfox
Yes I do remember my teenage years. I agree, it was horrible to have a spot on my face, especially when they appeared the day before the school dance or that big date.
Appearances mattered an awful lot to me then and I think now that while appearances are still important, for me there are other more important attributes that I look for in the girl of my dreams.

I see now that successful relationships are built on more than appearance.

Mike
 

willowfox

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I see now that successful relationships are built on more than appearance.

Yes, but the point I am trying to make is that when you were a teenager or even in your 20's, appearances were of the utmost importance.

So, how old do you think the querent is? Of course older people see relationships quite differently from younger people.
 

PaleSelene

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Willowfox made a point here.

Tali, if you asked the IC “What kind of plastic surgery do I need to get ?”
Don’t need to blame another person for that.

If you are looking for appearances you’ll only have that. Why don’t you try for love? It could be more satisfactory in the long run.

Hope you get what you want.

Selene
 
T

tali

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I didn't realize I'll stir such a buzz with my question.

Thank you for your advice about self-love, I do think it's quite important.
 

my_key

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Yes, but the point I am trying to make is that when you were a teenager or even in your 20's, appearances were of the utmost importance.

So, how old do you think the querent is? Of course older people see relationships quite differently from younger people.

Now that you have voiced your point clearly I can walk some way towards agreement with you. My view is that for some people in their teens and 20's appearances are of the utmost importance and as an extension, that for some people in their 30's,40's, 50's and 60's appearances are of the utmost importance.

It's not clear where you are going with the age question. It has no bearing on what age "I" think the querent is as to the message that Is being given in the reading. Although remaining totally neutral when giving a post can be difficult sometimes.

I would agree with your final view to the point that some older people see relationships quite differently from some younger people and that as an individual one sees relationships and appearance as having a different balance as age, maturity and wisdom grow.

I didn't realize I'll stir such a buzz with my question.
Thank you for your advice about self-love, I do think it's quite important.

Tali - This was a great question to ask. Keep asking those questions. It is wonderful to see you have picked up on the point of self love. This is not just quite important. It is important that you recognise this is very important.

Take care

Mike
 

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