hello everyone,
there is this guy with whom there is this tension with. but there had been some problems and we ended up in a fight. meanwhile he does occupy my mind but i don't even know for sure if he is really that nice, some things i do like about him, but then i don't know what to think of other things. meanwhile i heard via someone he wants to end this fight and i wish to do that too though.
so i asked some questions on what to do. i especially like to know whether the Iching is advsing me to contact him, or that i should wait for him to do that.
how should i operate towards him? 42.2 changing into 61
what does the IC think of me looking for contact with him? 61.2.5 towards 27
what are the possibilities if i do look for contact with him 49.2.5 towards 34

i never seem to understand anything on readings regarding myself in this sort of situations. i would really appreciate your help!
cheers, didi

Hexagram 61 has a lot to do with people coming together even if they didn't intend to. It also indicates a heart free of prejudices. Perhaps that is the first place to look, at your suspicions, and whether they are truly correct.

Gene

hello Gene, thanks for your reply! that hits the point. but do you mean if i have any suspicions about him having bad intentions, or is it about the suspicions about him liking me? cause they are both the case. the point is i don't know him that well and we live far away from eachother, he did make the impression on me he likes me several times, but due to things it seems he has troubles showing it. i'm not easy as well. but then i'm afraid it's like his intentions where flaky anway.
cheers, didi

Didi

It is not wise for a man to show too much interest too early. It scares women away, at least in general. You must be writing to each other, at least online. Keep writing, find out what you can. If he is interested he will continue to write. Hexagram 61 carries with it the idea of people who are meant to be together, to come together gradually, and naturally. If it happens, it is probably a good thing. If it doesn't happen, well he is not what 61 promises. So just lay back and play it by ear.

Gene

how should i operate towards him? 42.2 changing into 61

Be friendly, honest and sincere.

what does the IC think of me looking for contact with him? 61.2.5 towards 27

This looks like a very good idea, so go ahead and say hello. Your answer is all about communicating with him.

what are the possibilities if i do look for contact with him 49.2.5 towards 34

Your chat with him will bring about some very positive changes in him.

First of all thanks for your replies, they help me a lot! I do like to ask one more question though. I had my reasons for acting cautious the way I did. (The I ching once answered with 17.6 to a question regarding why he iniated something, maybe that's a good indication). But then some things happened from which I could really conclude his bad behavior was just due to circumstances, and that he just didn’t know how to handle it. So in the end i just had to ask what was going on. He didn’t react very nice to that, and so I ended up reacting angry. Now we haven't spoken for a while, but meanwhile some things point he is sad about something and it looks like he is referring to me. I don’t want to rely on that before I’m making a fool out of myself though. So now I get this message via a friend he likes to end the fight. The way things ended I feel it would be more appropriate for him to contact me instead of me contacting him.

I do like to at least end this fight though. Would it still be a good idea if I would initiate this to let him know just that? I feel I can’t really say more than that and that I have to do it in such a way that it’s friendly but not too involved. Not asking too much for a reaction. And just see if he will react and what will happen? Maybe that’s also what 61.2.5 is saying?

Cheers, Didi

Didi

A woman has far greater lattitude in approach than a man does, due to the skittishness of some women and how easily a man can creep them out without even knowing it. That being said, I would advise caution, but not total caution. Just be there in a way that does not make it look like you want anything from him. Nothing scares people more than the feeling that someone wants us, especially if it comes across as desperation. Hexagram 61 line two and five are very positive indicators here. I would just go slowly and noncommitally until something opens up.

Gene

Don't forget, you said yourself that you became angry with him, you lost your temper, so that warrants a peace token. You have to assume that he believes that you are still hot and angry with him.

Again, its all about communication so becareful what you say in future.

thanks guys! it all confrms how i feel about it, so i will do it. i already set up a small message, and if in a few days i still agree with what i said in it, i'll send it.

thanks again, i really appreciate the effort you took!

cheers, didi