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Understanding someone's silence through 34/36 and 14/36

oponopono

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Hi everyone,
and thank you for this space..

I ask your wise advise relating two questions i posed the Yijing regarding October and a surprising and hard to understand (for me) attitude of my loved one.

I take this opportunity because a lot of doubts I often have when talking with the Yinjing came up, and I think it's the perfect pretext to learn from your experience. Concerning the guy, I am day by day letting go and accepting his negligence/silence is really speaking for itself, that it is likely is not the one for me after all. I should also add I really like him. (Uff...)

So, the situation is that he was supposed to join me in the place I live some time this month and he didn't, he just stop writing (our last mail exchange was october 1st)
I asked
What is October bringing to the process of our relationship? 34 (2nd and 4th line mutating) to 36.
I got the "Censorship" part, but not the Great Power...

Later on in the month, as he is now 20 days without contact, I asked
What is happening on his side that could explain this silence? 14 (2nd, 4th and 6th lines mutating) to 36.

(36 it is, hen?....) :)

Ok, I'm not really asking for futurology, I am trying to get enlightening insights from what is happening, and also take the best out of a situation that brings me great frustration. (I admit I would prefer a mail saying its all over to this agonizing silence...).
Which personal growth lessons could the Iching be pointing out to me here? Is this Great Power (34) and Possession in Great Measure (14) referring to his overpowering me in this situation? Does it have to do with his domination, or does it refer to a potential in the situation itself? Is the 14th trying to tell me that he possesses me, that is, that I am being played with?...
It doesn't resonate, you know? But I could be in denial, as this abandonment is so hard to swallow...

Overall, if I ask a question regarding someone else should I read the "I" in the text as this person, or always myself relating to this person? That is, in the 2nd question, who holds the Power in Great Measure, according to the Iching? me, him or the situation?

I very much appreciate your insights on both questions and their connection to each other and the present moment.

To finish, and even though part of me discards this line of questioning as a bit futile (when I have such drives I always tell myself: "Breathe, wait, and see for yourself.") this time I didn't resist going for:
Is maintaining hope of coming together as a love couple beneficial for me right now (or should I let him go at once)?
9. the taming power of the small 1st line mutating
to 57 The Gentle


ai ai ai
:)

Thank you!
yoana
 

willowfox

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What is October bringing to the process of our relationship? 34.2,4 to 36.

What it is bringing is the need to keep calm and cool while whatever is holding him or preventing him gives way. It suggests that he is in some kind of trouble which he either doesn't want you to know about or actually can't tell you even if he wanted to.

Later on in the month, as he is now 20 days without contact, I asked "What is happening on his side that could explain this silence? 14.2,4,6 to 36.

If I were you then I would first check the hospitals and jail in the area that he currently resides.


Line 9.1 is advising you to just be calm, and step back a bit while you wait to discover the reason for his absence but it is not telling you to give up.
 
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my_key

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What is October bringing to the process of our relationship? 34.2,4 to 36.
October is bringing to the process of your relationship a chance to see things between you in a different way, one of staying soft in how you behave outwardly but becoming clearer about things on the inside.

This is going to allow you both to walk a path more suited to what you need, but there is no need to get carried away by what you both discover. If you take things a step at a time thenwhat you have learnt about the relationship will allow it to develop in a fruitful way for you both.

In October we pass into the 11th Moon whose Grandmother is Walks Tall Woman.

"What is happening on his side that could explain this silence? 14.2,4,6 to 36.

He has a lot of things to contend with at the moment and he is chosing to remain isolated as his way of coping with what is going on. By sticking to his guns he is going to come out of it all in the best possible manner.

Take Care

Mike

Mike
 
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oponopono

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Hi Mike, Hi Willowfox

Thank you for clearing it all a bit for me... despite slightly divergent I read that you both point to a calmness and a stepping back that should become my personal work right now. I admit it is hard for me to stop my head from relentlessly needing to know what is going on. I hope the information comes soon...

Just so I learn to do my own readings, you both read Possession in Great Measure (14) as the subject was him, right?

Mike, can I ask you what you mean by "In October we pass into the 11th Moon whose Grandmother is Walks Tall Woman."?

And do you have an opinion on the 3rd question, about keeping hope or giving up?

I thank you again for your time and clarity,

Yoana
 

my_key

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Just so I learn to do my own readings, you both read Possession in Great Measure (14) as the subject was him, right?
Your question "What is happening on his side that could explain this silence? 14.2,4,6 to 36." gives him as the subject "on his side" so that was how the oracle worked for me.

Mike, can I ask you what you mean by "In October we pass into the 11th Moon whose Grandmother is Walks Tall Woman."?
Your question was specifically about October and what is it bringing so as we had recently passed into a new moon. It just seemed appropriate to mention the Clan Mother whose wisdom was acting during this moon cycle. Sharing the gifts and abilities that might be stepping into your life now, perhaps this is a time for you to remember how to Walk Tall. Maybe try "Earth Medicine" by Jamie Sams for a bit more information.
Is maintaining hope of coming together as a love couple beneficial for me right now (or should I let him go at once)?
9. the taming power of the small 1st line mutating
to 57 The Gentle

There's nothing you can do about things at the moment.Be strong inside and be gentle in all you say and do for now. By staying calm and non judgemental you will allow a clarity to come around the situation. Then you will know how best to act.

Take Care

Mike
 

oponopono

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Hi again,

I don't know if its a habit within this forum to come back with outcomes, but I thought it would be interesting to confirm how ACCURATE were your interpretations.
...and that again I'm stuck in the "Hanging in there" and again call out for your wise help.

Willowfox was completely right on the money, as was My_key - like both your readings really completed each other.
He was in trouble and that was holding him back, money trouble, so that generated somehow an "honor" situation that made him not want to come unless he could support himself.
But what we both went through on our own made it that when contact was resumed we were at a new level, and much clearer about what we wanted. Or so it seemed. As he wanted to head to where I live and was dealing with the logistics to do it...

He was supposed to arrive on the weekend of the 7 and 8th November - but he never confirmed his flight, and never came. I wrote him, no answer. I wrote him again one week later - nada. Silence ever since...

Without asking the Iching anyone would immediately tell me that the guy is no good right? But when i do ask the Y this is not what I read (am I clouded by my feelings...?)

9 November - What is happening with him right now that makes him stay silent again? 43 unchanging

9 November - What should be my attitude and behavior in front of what he is doing? 32 unchanging

13 November - Why did you tell me to persevere and to hang on if this is only to end up in this sad and uncaring manner? 25.1 > 12
(this was not mad or bitter at the Iching! I was just trying to make something positive out of it all...!)

15 November - Is this the end of our relationship and our journey together? Is it over? 59.1.4.5 > 19

16 November - Will we ever come together as a love couple? 28.2 > 31



I read a lot of difficulties here, but the main energy I intuitively get from the book (even the physical object, how odd!) is... "don't give up"...

But as this is deeply draining for me, his silence and all the comings and goings, I came to ask you for your fresh views on some of the answers. Am i refusing to listen to something obvious here?

Thanks, again.
 

rosada

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Hello Yoana,
What a patient woman you are!
I get dizzy at the sight of multiple questions, but if you ever focus on just one I will give it a go.
Best wishes,
Rosada
 

oponopono

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Hello Rosada,

They were thrown on different days... but guess you're right, should just picked one or two - sorry. What I was trying to say was that it was the alignment of answers that gave me the paranoid feeling I shouldn't give up, but of course, it's the last one the one I feel cries it out:

Will we ever come together as a love couple? 28.2 > 31

This is,
The One.

:)

Yo*
 

willowfox

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Will we ever come together as a love couple? 28.2 > 31

This is,
The One.

:)

Yo*

Well, there you go and even you understand how cool your answer is, and the line even mentions that your situation is unusual as well but don't let that concern you because the attraction is there.

Coming soon!
 

ginnie

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You said he didn't confirm his flight tickets. Sounds to me like he is a man of great gentility and so does not act in a practical, take-charge way when necessary. He probably lost money on his tickets, too, by not asserting himself. Something like that, Yoana.

Line 28.2 says to me that you can look forward to this relationship becoming very romantic. It will be rejuvenating! . . .
 

willowfox

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Willowfox was completely right on the money,

15 November - Is this the end of our relationship and our journey together? Is it over? 59.1.4.5 > 19

There it is, a few are leaders, the rest are sheep. It appears that I am right some of the time, that's if I am allowed on this site to say my piece.

Anyway, look at this, line 59.1 a need to dissolve the misunderstandings and confusion that is now existing between you.

Line 59.4, 5 is about seeing the bigger picture here, opening your perspective of the situation and thus make a supreme effort to sort out the problem. Therefore, don't leave everything down to him, help him.

Hex 19 is about a time of blossoming, a flowering, and everything is alive and vibrant.

So, nothing is over, until it ends.
 

Trojina

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There it is, a few are leaders, the rest are sheep. It appears that I am right some of the time, that's if I am allowed on this site to say my piece.

.

Care to explain that comment ? Are you implying that members of this forum are like sheep and that you are a leader ?

lol
 

Trojina

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you said nothing about islands you said "the few are leaders the rest are sheep' Do you see yourself as a leader and others as sheep ? Is that what you meant ? Where does this island come into it ?

if you see yourself as leader who do you lead ? who do you think are sheep ? If you cannot explain here perhaps you would do so in moderation ?
 

Trojina

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oh do you mean people at clarity are like Island dwellers and you are the visionary from the outside world to lead them to the light ?

if you don't mean that I'm sure you'll say
 

oponopono

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ui... if I'm allowed to intervene... I know I'm new to the forum and all but I really found an online corner where I can recurrently come for a sense of interconnectedness not only of events (the I Ching itself) but of people (this community). It doesn't make sense that we allow it to decay into personal power-play... I don't know willowfox nor trojan nor anyone who so kindly helped me out in this moment of anguish, but I notice that they came and gave me their time despite me being a newbie and writing long threads ;-)

Yes, willowfox has often an harsh way of conveying her messages, but she seems to be a superb Iching reader. And he has answered each one of my posts, and many before and after mine, even when they sound naive or immature (er...like mine!).
So there is obviously generosity, talent, and a love for the Iching there. Why do the rest of the interpretations (and it all comes down to that, no? interpretation...!) annoy you, willowfox? Do you disagree that the aim of the forum is to learn together? Or do you see it otherwise?

I don't know the history of the forum or why people are banned when they are banned, but we could try and find a way of growing with this...

... but what do I know, hen? I'm just someone who is in love with a guy that doesn't write for weeks, what do I know of life? ;-)

Thank you all again, and thank you for this space.
Yo*

ps. Willowfox, if you were ever right on a reading, I hope you are right this time! =D
 
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pink_mandolin

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Sorry :)

Yoana,
I was going to have a look at your post, I'm sincerely sorry whats happened to the end of your thread, Please don't let it put you off posting! I have nothing to say about the behaviour- next time this happens report the thread up there with the red Triangle- I think its already been reported. Did you read this when you came into the shared readings area- it might be worth reading- especially about bad behaviour- this shouldn't be tolerated ;) so it doesn't happen again!

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=8285

There is a lovely community here at Clarity- lots of very good interpretors- a few genious's & some of us not so genious's (see I can't even spell it!) I am glad you are part of it! Your posts are neither immature nor niave!! I enjoyed reading it :hug:

Good luck with your guy :D maybe he's trapped down a mine shaft and you should send lassie! :rofl:

Take care!! ;)
 

parasio

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Money?

Hi again,


Willowfox was completely right on the money, as was My_key - like both your readings really completed each other.
He was in trouble and that was holding him back, money trouble, so that generated somehow an "honor" situation that made him not want to come unless he could support himself.

Sorry, I don't see were My_Key or Willowfox were speaking about money.
 

parasio

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Oops

"right on the money" is an expression, just like "you nailed it".
It just means they were right.
;)

I know for us, non-native speakers, it can be a tad more difficult!
Cheers!!!!

I love the Clarity Forum! Not only I learn a lot about the I Ching, I improve also my English!
Thanks ;-)
 

oponopono

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Hi Pink_mandolin,

I didn't see a need for the red triangle, because I was personally not offended by Willowfox's remarks, and on the other hand I understood what Trojan was trying to clarify. Perhaps Trojan should have addressed Willowfox directly? I don't know, it was somehow happening "in my thread" (ehehehe getting possessive of a communal forum is funny) and that gave me the sense I could intervene...

Hi Parasio,

"right on the money" is an expression, yes. As one can see I am not a native speaker, but I learned from watching films and attending conferences, so I tend to write as people speak, sorry about that.
Willowfox was right on the trouble part, and My_key was also right on his insight that he was "chosing to remain isolated as his way of coping with what is going on."
... they were both right! and that's the beauty of SHARED readings :)

To everyone,
I know it has become a long and eventful thread here, but in the end there wasn't so many diverse outlooks on my most recent readings (Have to thanks Willowfox again there - and Ginnie). Ok, 28.1 > 31 seems pretty straight-forward, but does anyone have further insight into this
15 November - Is this the end of our relationship and our journey together? Is it over? 59.1.4.5 > 19

Willowfox shares a sharp and brilliant reading of it, but one I can't translate into what I am living. (I.e., there is no contact!) I felt my last mail was just that (what WF suggests) dissolving misunderstandings and making myself available to help him financially or otherwise.
59.4 has a line that just keeps echoing inside me... "He who has the courage thus to forego what is near wins what is afar."

So could 59 describe what has just recently happened (my last unrequited mail) and now the transition to 19? Or it doesn't work in such a linear way...?

About the unchanging 43, any clue?

Thanks*****
 

willowfox

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Why do the rest of the interpretations (and it all comes down to that, no? interpretation...!) annoy you, willowfox? Do you disagree that the aim of the forum is to learn together? Or do you see it otherwise?

I don't know the history of the forum or why people are banned when they are banned, but we could try and find a way of growing with this...



ps. Willowfox, if you were ever right on a reading, I hope you are right this time! =D

Well, I just felt like adding a comment back there, the "sheep" one, thats all, and of course "trojan" blew it out of all proportion on purpose to attack me as she has been doing for the past 3 years plus. So don't be offended or upset by her outbursts, they are to be expected, just look in "moderation" for more examples of her wrath towards everyone lately.

Was I rude in your thread to anyone? I don't think so, so I'm glad that a well wisher reported 'trojan's hijacking of your thread.

What annoys me is when some "readers" purposely and stubbornly lead the querent in the wrong direction by giving them the wrong advice or wrong answer.

A shining example of teaching, is over on "tarotforum.net", in their "your readings" where everyone who posts is made to read their own cards first before anyone can comment. Here we have a bunch of people, novices, who are unable to understand the I Ching as it can be very difficult to make sense of for a beginner, and therefore they are unable to comment on their own readings and need the help of "others". Unfortunately, some of those "others" also, do not know how to read the answer received in relation to the question asked. Then some querents get some very "strange" and dubious answers back.

I was banned for being honest but "others" saw it as an attack.

Lastly, keep the faith, be patient, and hopefully your wanderer will return soon.
 

hilary

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Thank you, Yoana, for so patiently and tolerantly bringing your thread (I think you can call it your thread when you started it :) ) back on track. I'm probably going to spoil your efforts now... sorry...

Trojan - of course WF won't say who she thinks are 'sheep' compared to her. By just insinuating, she can encompass readers and querents alike, and upset more people. I'm glad you drew attention to this; now I think it's time to drop it, or move to 'Moderation' if you prefer. Nothing to be gained by continuing, especially not here.

WF - for pity's sakes, please cut it out, now.

About the readings, especially the lines in 59 (but also 28.2) - I agree with WF, what else is there that you can do? Get on the phone - to him, to his friends/neighbours/family? Get on a plane?? (Not a firm recommendation, you understand, just a thought.) What's the most powerful way you can convey your feelings?

(I think 43 unchanging, as a description of what's happening with him and why he's silent, should probably ring alarm bells for you. But you know him best - so read through the words of the hexagram and see what it sounds like to you.)
 

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