Can someone validate the interpretations I made?

lyrandra · Nov 14, 2009

Hi,

I have a few readings that I interpreted myself and I would really appreciate it if someone could validate my interpretations or tell me if I'm on the right track. I'm still learning to read the I-Ching and I think that some of my interpretations might be biased because of my feelings.

Here's the situation:
I really like him, but I just learned he is currently in a relationship. We used to look at each other a lot. He knows that I’m really attracted to him (I told him), but he still sends me e-mails. He never clearly revealed his thoughts or feelings about me. We just look at each other and he just sends me e-mails once in a while apparently to be nice to me. Sometimes, he acts like he really cares. Other times, he acts like he doesn’t care at all. Now, new factors made their appearance in the situation and I can’t take it anymore. I’m going crazy.

Here are my questions:
1: What can I do to feel better about the situation? 21 > 21
2: What will he do if I’m honest with him and I reveal ALL my feelings for him? 37.3 > 42
3: What will he do if I tell him I met someone? 11.3 > 19
4: Will he reveal his feelings for me if I tell him I met someone? 19.5.6 > 61

Here are my interpretations:
1: I think I need to be honest, get to the bottom of things and tell him how I feel about the situation.

2: I think there might be two possibilities:

A) He might have to discipline himself in order to stay faithful to his current relationship [37 line 3]. But he will end up making a statement in the end [42].

B) He might have to use severity in order to make things clear that the feelings are not reciprocal [37 line 3]. He might not want to say it, but he will end up saying it [42].

3: I think it will hurt him a little bit. I think it will make him realize something. But he will accept the new situation because he knows things change and there is nothing to do about it [11 line 3]. However, I think he will make a comeback at some point or do something [19].

4: I think yes, he will do it.

Does it make sense? :blush:

Thank you,
Lyrandra

pink_mandolin · Nov 15, 2009

I agree

Hi Lyrandra,

I liked your interpretation of the lines- from my perspective I think you got a good grasp (only new to i-ching myself

) of the lines and their meaning.

In my opinion- not wanting to judge your situation but the guy really shouldn't be looking/flirting with you if he is in a relationship (do you know he is for definite?)- remember if there is someone/others involved, be very careful/senstive in this issue- Act with integrety! not just for the others but for your own emotional wellbeing :hug:

But I think you are right to try and clarify your situation- 21! that will bring you peace, biting through the problem/issue. I think the lines are saying that he will not approach you with anything negative- but I don't think he will confess love either- I think from this reading he will allow the situation between you to continue. Its just my feeling he will accept and possibley act friendly (perhaps a little more) instead. So I don't think your situation will actually change drastically- I think the flirting may increase more- if thats your intention.

I wouldn't test him though with the i'm seeing someone else thing, by the looks of line 37.3 you mustn't be too severe and you musn't be all giggly "i love you, its ok your in a relationship" in your approach with revealing your true feelings. By not being too severe and not being too lacks you'll get the increase your after I think.

Be clear about your boundaries with him I think and reveal your true feelings but don't be too severe in your limitations with him- do you know for definete he's actually in a relationship? Seeing this from an outside perspective- he could be a good guy who likes you, he may have just ended a relationship or is dating casually & might like to see you? Or he could be in a relationship and therefore shouldn't be flirting

Hmmm you definetly need to investigate this!! (21)

An interesting situation, if he wasn't in a relationship I'd say go for it on this reading. Do you definetly know he is in a relationship? Did he tell you this himself? Or did you hear it through the grapevine and it could be just rumours?! If you know for concrete definite he is in a relationship be very cautious- and like your 21 says investigate- bite through the issue with him! If you don't know for definite there would be no harm in telling him how you feel and asking if its true he's in a relationship? & state clearly how you feel about that (avoiding being harsh but not saying its ok either)- thats what I'd do I think in your situ!

Also the fact you just like him at this stage and its only emailing and flirting- bite through the situation first don't allow it to progress untill your sure about the whole thing. Yes I think you should probably Clarify the relationship thing and and let him know how you feel in my opinion.

So I agree with your interpretation.

Good luck with this x

:hug:

Ps. if the two of you are emailing that will give you a good opening to address the issue with him without making a huge scene in a comfortable space. Easier than facing him face to face and also less embarrasing if he doesn't feel the same

you could just brush it off. But Since you see him a lot I'd try and keep it friendly. I assume you see him at work? that will make your life easier I think- best to cover all bases!

pink_mandolin · Nov 15, 2009

37.3

I had another good look at your lines, despite the way the situation looks- it looks the Yi is giving you from what I can see as fortunate lines- as to what he will do- your 37.3 says auspicious outcome and the increase looks positive also. Hmmm.

Perhaps others can give you some more on this line- as I'm not too familiar with it! I haven't any experience with it so its just guess work really...

I guess the only way to know for sure is to jump in there and do it. We can sit all day and try and surmise what he might do from the lines

but at the end of the day he has free will- so he may act harshly and create boundaries between you or he may dally and joke with you and laugh it off? either way the line says its fortunate- It leads to an increase- Maybe it will develop into good friends instead once you have clear boundaries between you? If there is a strong magnetic or sexual attraction- then obviously it probably wouldn't be a good idea- up to yourself really, but your at an early stage and can explore it. Thats how I read it.

A matter of live it I think.

Also with 21- do you know exactly what you are trying to bite through? is it something rotten- in that case throw it away, is there something valuable to be attained/learned then go for it!

Trojina · Nov 15, 2009

I would think carefully before revealing your feelings to him. He may well simply regard this as a workplace flirtation, and i think that is what the 37.3 refers to. He is the one laughing and dallying but without serious intent. You need to bite through to the truth of the situation (21) but it seems to me you have nothing to go on if he has made no actual moves to you just looked (sometimes). Also what you descibed as him sometimes acting like he cares, sometimes not, is just typical game playing. If he is interested he will make a real move like ask you out or something. Thinking that if you tell him you have met someone will make him reveal his feelings to you seems really convoluted logic to me

and probably not a successful ploy

hollis · Nov 15, 2009

lyrandra said:
Hi,

Here are my questions:
1: What can I do to feel better about the situation? 21 > 21
2: What will he do if I’m honest with him and I reveal ALL my feelings for him? 37.3 > 42
3: What will he do if I tell him I met someone? 11.3 > 19
4: Will he reveal his feelings for me if I tell him I met someone? 19.5.6 > 61

Here are my interpretations:
1: I think I need to be honest, get to the bottom of things and tell him how I feel about the situation.

Yes, 21 presents an old sticky situation, something you really have to chew through. What can you do to feel better about it? Chew your way through it. Getting down to the brass tacks of it may make you feel better..

lyrandra said:
2: I think there might be two possibilities:

A) He might have to discipline himself in order to stay faithful to his current relationship [37 line 3]. But he will end up making a statement in the end
B) He might have to use severity in order to make things clear that the feelings are not reciprocal [37 line 3]. He might not want to say it, but he will end up saying it [42].

Line 3 in hex 37 advises being strict. It may be indicating that you will be better off in the long run that you discipline your impulse to tell all. Not that you should not talk to him, as that may be part of the 21 for you, just that you may want to wait a bit and temper your impulses before taking any action.

lyrandra said:
3: I think it will hurt him a little bit. I think it will make him realize something. But he will accept the new situation because he knows things change and there is nothing to do about it [11 line 3]. However, I think he will make a comeback at some point or do something [19].

I have found line 3 of 11 to be a bittersweet line, a consolation, and sometimes a challenge. I would see the 19 as the context of this question, which is your approach with your feelings and information.

lyrandra said:
4: I think yes, he will do it.

19 5 & 6 changing? I don't know. He may , he may not.

Sometimes with a series of questions like this, by the end, I just look at the general gist of the two hexagrams. I would see 19 to 61 as a theme of the open heart approaching ( is how I would see it). Some say that by the time the Approach gets to the 6th line, the influence is passing, 'it is too late' and I have found that to be true.

adarkana · Nov 16, 2009

Sorry--just for clarification--did you actually meet someone else?

The answer to this question is probably somewhere in your other postings but reading only this thread, it is hard to tell. If you have taken up with another person in order to stimulate his interest, or perhaps a confession, I'm not sure either 11.3 or 19.5.6 will do the trick.

My brother got those 19 lines once asking a not-dissimilar question, and nothing ever came of it (as of this writing--I think that was three or four years ago). He liked a girl who seemed to be involved with someone else and, despite her flirtation with him--and his own interest--he never pursued it; his courage was no match for outward appearances.

lyrandra · Nov 17, 2009

First, I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to answer me.
Now, here are my answers and a little bit more details on the situation.

pink_mandolin said:
Hi Lyrandra,

I liked your interpretation of the lines- from my perspective I think you got a good grasp (only new to i-ching myself ) of the lines and their meaning.

In my opinion- not wanting to judge your situation but the guy really shouldn't be looking/flirting with you if he is in a relationship (do you know he is for definite?)- remember if there is someone/others involved, be very careful/senstive in this issue- Act with integrety! not just for the others but for your own emotional wellbeing

But I think you are right to try and clarify your situation- 21! that will bring you peace, biting through the problem/issue. I think the lines are saying that he will not approach you with anything negative- but I don't think he will confess love either- I think from this reading he will allow the situation between you to continue. Its just my feeling he will accept and possibley act friendly (perhaps a little more) instead. So I don't think your situation will actually change drastically- I think the flirting may increase more- if thats your intention.

I wouldn't test him though with the i'm seeing someone else thing, by the looks of line 37.3 you mustn't be too severe and you musn't be all giggly "i love you, its ok your in a relationship" in your approach with revealing your true feelings. By not being too severe and not being too lacks you'll get the increase your after I think.

Be clear about your boundaries with him I think and reveal your true feelings but don't be too severe in your limitations with him- do you know for definete he's actually in a relationship? Seeing this from an outside perspective- he could be a good guy who likes you, he may have just ended a relationship or is dating casually & might like to see you? Or he could be in a relationship and therefore shouldn't be flirting Hmmm you definetly need to investigate this!! (21)

An interesting situation, if he wasn't in a relationship I'd say go for it on this reading. Do you definetly know he is in a relationship? Did he tell you this himself? Or did you hear it through the grapevine and it could be just rumours?! If you know for concrete definite he is in a relationship be very cautious- and like your 21 says investigate- bite through the issue with him! If you don't know for definite there would be no harm in telling him how you feel and asking if its true he's in a relationship? & state clearly how you feel about that (avoiding being harsh but not saying its ok either)- thats what I'd do I think in your situ!

Also the fact you just like him at this stage and its only emailing and flirting- bite through the situation first don't allow it to progress untill your sure about the whole thing. Yes I think you should probably Clarify the relationship thing and and let him know how you feel in my opinion.

So I agree with your interpretation.

Good luck with this x

Ps. if the two of you are emailing that will give you a good opening to address the issue with him without making a huge scene in a comfortable space. Easier than facing him face to face and also less embarrasing if he doesn't feel the same you could just brush it off. But Since you see him a lot I'd try and keep it friendly. I assume you see him at work? that will make your life easier I think- best to cover all bases!

I am indeed sure that he is involved with someone else. He told me. I don't really know what I'm feeling for him. I can't say it's love because I still don't know him. We've known each other for a year now, but the flirting only started around March. I think it's more than a physical attraction, but it's not love. I guess I became attached somehow through the flirting.

I liked your reading. I agree with everything you said. If I reveal my feelings, I should be carefully how I reveal them. I will have to meditate on that. 

trojan said:
I would think carefully before revealing your feelings to him. He may well simply regard this as a workplace flirtation, and i think that is what the 37.3 refers to. He is the one laughing and dallying but without serious intent. You need to bite through to the truth of the situation (21) but it seems to me you have nothing to go on if he has made no actual moves to you just looked (sometimes). Also what you descibed as him sometimes acting like he cares, sometimes not, is just typical game playing. If he is interested he will make a real move like ask you out or something. Thinking that if you tell him you have met someone will make him reveal his feelings to you seems really convoluted logic to me and probably not a successful ploy

He might play a game, you’re right. That might be what [37.3] refers to. It’s quite possible. I honestly didn’t see it that way because, to me, the outcome [42] was good. But, then, maybe I shouldn’t see [42] as something necessarily good. I had a few problems with that reading.

hollis said:
Yes, 21 presents an old sticky situation, something you really have to chew through. What can you do to feel better about it? Chew your way through it. Getting down to the brass tacks of it may make you feel better..

Line 3 in hex 37 advises being strict. It may be indicating that you will be better off in the long run that you discipline your impulse to tell all. Not that you should not talk to him, as that may be part of the 21 for you, just that you may want to wait a bit and temper your impulses before taking any action.

I have found line 3 of 11 to be a bittersweet line, a consolation, and sometimes a challenge. I would see the 19 as the context of this question, which is your approach with your feelings and information.

19 5 & 6 changing? I don't know. He may , he may not.

Sometimes with a series of questions like this, by the end, I just look at the general gist of the two hexagrams. I would see 19 to 61 as a theme of the open heart approaching ( is how I would see it). Some say that by the time the Approach gets to the 6th line, the influence is passing, 'it is too late' and I have found that to be true.

I like your thoughts on [37.3]. That’s another point of view that I didn’t see. And it’s true that I’m really impulsive. I take it as a good advice. I think it refers a little bit to what Pink said: I can reveal my feelings, but I should be careful.

adarkana said:
Sorry--just for clarification--did you actually meet someone else?

The answer to this question is probably somewhere in your other postings but reading only this thread, it is hard to tell. If you have taken up with another person in order to stimulate his interest, or perhaps a confession, I'm not sure either 11.3 or 19.5.6 will do the trick.

My brother got those 19 lines once asking a not-dissimilar question, and nothing ever came of it (as of this writing--I think that was three or four years ago). He liked a girl who seemed to be involved with someone else and, despite her flirtation with him--and his own interest--he never pursued it; his courage was no match for outward appearances.

No, I didn’t.  I guess I just wanted to see what would have been his reaction. I don’t think I really wanted to use that option. I was curious, but I definitely think the best way would be to reveal my feelings.

With all the insights you guys gave me, it really helps me. However, I really find it difficult to make a decision as to what I should do because a single reading can generate multiple interpretations. What's the accurate interpretation? You know what I mean? I think I still need to think about if I should reveal my feelings or not. And if I do, I need to sit down and think about how I'm going to say it. Overall, it's definitely clearer now.

Thank you again for your help,
Lyrandra

sela · Nov 18, 2009

Hi, Lyandra,
I am not trying to solve the lines you were given because I hardly trust my talent to that, I keep driving myself crazy with my own readings. But just from the experience of life I have, a guy that looks and sometimes emails and is in another relationship is nothing but a way to have your heart broken. Do not let it happen!

lyrandra · Nov 19, 2009

sela said:
Hi, Lyandra,
I am not trying to solve the lines you were given because I hardly trust my talent to that, I keep driving myself crazy with my own readings. But just from the experience of life I have, a guy that looks and sometimes emails and is in another relationship is nothing but a way to have your heart broken. Do not let it happen!

Thanks for your kind words, Sela. He said he sends me because he wants to be kind. He said it must have taken courage for me to tell me that I was attracted to him and that the attraction grew up with time and that I would love to be able to talk to him. He said he didn't want to ignore me. And it's okay, but he didn't have to send me e-mails more than once if it was just to be nice. I think he likes it, at some point. But I think it might just be a game to him. And that's why I don't know if I really should tell him how I really feel.

I'm currently writting what I would like to tell him. I takes me a long time. I'm trying to find the right words. I don't know if I will send it... Still not sure, yet.

scarlettgirl · Nov 19, 2009

Just advice

Lyrandra,

I'm not going to interpret your readings either as I think that the others have done a wonderful job at that, but I will give you some advice. If I were you, I would NOT tell this guy in an email how you feel about him (even if it is to get it off of your chest), trust me - unless he is absolutely blind, deaf, and dumb then he has at least some clue (probably a big clue) about how you feel already. You sound like you are trying to do the right thing but I think that you should do the right thing by yourself and file this experience away as just that...an experience.
Ask yourself - would you really want this guy if all it took for him to dump his girlfriend was for you to write him an email telling him your feelings after a mild office flirtation? Please value yourself more than this - I went through a terrible experience myself a few months ago, it is not worth it to drive yourself crazy doing readings about this when someone wonderful and perfect is out there waiting for you but you won't see them if your focus is on the guy at the office. This was kindly meant.

lyrandra · Nov 19, 2009

scarlettgirl said:
Lyrandra,

I'm not going to interpret your readings either as I think that the others have done a wonderful job at that, but I will give you some advice. If I were you, I would NOT tell this guy in an email how you feel about him (even if it is to get it off of your chest), trust me - unless he is absolutely blind, deaf, and dumb then he has at least some clue (probably a big clue) about how you feel already. You sound like you are trying to do the right thing but I think that you should do the right thing by yourself and file this experience away as just that...an experience.
Ask yourself - would you really want this guy if all it took for him to dump his girlfriend was for you to write him an email telling him your feelings after a mild office flirtation? Please value yourself more than this - I went through a terrible experience myself a few months ago, it is not worth it to drive yourself crazy doing readings about this when someone wonderful and perfect is out there waiting for you but you won't see them if your focus is on the guy at the office. This was kindly meant.

Well, I wrote something, but I don't think I will send it. I'm still not sure enough to do it. And I think you are right that he probably already knows how I feel. I actually questioned myself about that today. I wondered if it was really necessary to tell him since I already talked to him a little bit about that awhile ago. But, like I said, I wanted to write something even if I don't send it. I sleep on that tonight.

Thanks for your advice.

lyrandra · Nov 20, 2009

After a few days of reflection, I decided not to tell him my feelings. The situation's not worth it. I worth more than that and I want more than that. It's time I move on. I have to break free from him in order to attract new people into my life. And I have to do it, even if it means being alone. If he sends me e-mails again, I'll tell him it's better not to talk to each other from now on. I don't want to pretend I want to be friend with him. And I don't want him to act friendly either. That's not what I want. I want more and if I can't have it, I prefer moving on from it. Because it doesn't go anywhere. I don't want to make the same mistakes as I did before. Let's move on while I can.

This was my last post about him.
Thanks for all your help.

...life can be translucent

Can someone validate the interpretations I made?

lyrandra

visitor

pink_mandolin

visitor

pink_mandolin

visitor

Trojina

Supporter

hollis

visitor

adarkana

Supporter

lyrandra

visitor

sela

visitor

lyrandra

visitor

scarlettgirl

visitor

lyrandra

visitor

lyrandra

visitor