Hi,

I hate to get too personal in such a public forum...however, I'm in great desire of some insight into my latest reading.
I deeply feel as though I've lost a great degree of my spirit and drive. It's as though nothing interests me or fills me with any passion or motivation. Almost a feeling of being dead inside...or perhaps just so numb I can no longer feel anything, not even a tiny interest in the things which once were my passions...
That said, I've asked the IC for insight into how I could better my life or revive my spirit.
Response: 34.5 changing to 43.
From what I've read on this, it seems to be saying stop charging ahead...or let go of the horns (?)? I don't have the care or energy any more to charge ahead on anything...much less to hold onto the horns regarding any matters
Any thoughts or insight into what this message might be regarding this inquiry?
Thank you and Namaste':bows:
~Krista

We all feel like this from time to time.look at the fifth line of hex 43 and this will relate also to your situation.In time you will see this as a normal course of life.I see it will not take too much of a hold on you and you will be in better spirits soon.Look at line 3 hex 11.Thats life

I agree with mrmorrow, I too have been through stretches of time where I felt this way and didn't know why and felt like it was just going to continue on that way but everything always changes, life is fluid, nothing stays the same.
this may be a stretch but maybe the "goat" that you have lost in this line (34.5)is your zest and passion for life right now but the line does say no remorse, so I think it advising you that this is ok for now

I've gotten 34.5 before (but in a completely different context) and it was always about someone or something missing in the situation or event so that's why I think maybe it refers to the emptyness you feel inside...

hi Krista

34.5 . . yikes what a line! I too have gotten this line when feeling like you've described and I felt just like that . . 'let go? let go of what?????? as if I had anything to let loose . . it's gone already . .'

so, my understanding of it has gotten a lot better since past summer and although I have not read here anywhere of this being a usual explanation, it still seems to work like that for me, ie, when I get this line Yi is setting off alarm bells at me saying: 'You've been suppressing too much . . You think that you need to keep in control all those hurtful things inside so you tie them to a fence to feel safe . . well, guess what, you're not getting any safer, but you are getting tied down with them and to them'

what you wrote about feeling

just so numb I can no longer feel anything

Click to expand...

could it be you are numbing yourself by denying how some things have gotten into you? was there recently something traumatic, or just disruptive you don't want to acknowledge in order to keep things within their supposed frames?

well, maybe not, this doesn't have to work like that in every case . . anyway, this is usually what it means for me. Now I know, when I get this line I need to go have a good cry about things, or let the frustration get expressed in any way possible, even if that makes me feel uncomfortable at first . .
hope this will be of some help!

take care


edit: there seems to be a false sense of pride or self-protection with this line and the advice is to break down the protective barriers, don't get trapped in that pride . .

kdedeaux4 said:

Hi,

I hate to get too personal in such a public forum...however, I'm in great desire of some insight into my latest reading.
I deeply feel as though I've lost a great degree of my spirit and drive. It's as though nothing interests me or fills me with any passion or motivation. Almost a feeling of being dead inside...or perhaps just so numb I can no longer feel anything, not even a tiny interest in the things which once were my passions...
That said, I've asked the IC for insight into how I could better my life or revive my spirit.
Response: 34.5 changing to 43.
From what I've read on this, it seems to be saying stop charging ahead...or let go of the horns (?)? I don't have the care or energy any more to charge ahead on anything...much less to hold onto the horns regarding any matters
Any thoughts or insight into what this message might be regarding this inquiry?
Thank you and Namaste':bows:
~Krista

Click to expand...

I find 34.5 as the ultimate chillout out line. Its probably okay that you are feeling de motivated, whats really happened is you let your ram go. In other words what you now perceive as an undesirable state may actually be just a temporary sense of disorientation after a period of being really full on/charge ahead mode for some time.

In short i think it likley you aren't 'dead inside', this lassitude is likley just a period of reorientation after possibly extended period of stress. I think sometimes after times of great striving effort and stress, the letting go of these can feel like sheer emptiness and lack of drive..I think your answer shows you're okay, not to worry about these current feelings.

BTW my experience of 34.5 has always been a sense of release after gearing up for some challenge only to find its okay its not needed. Of course all that stored energy has to go somewhere and when it doesn't or can't a sense of 'flatness' could well arise as you describe. I guess we all react differently to letting our rams go...maybe you actually need a 'come down' period to get accustomed to the fact that the level of energy you've been fuelling into things is no longer needed. Thats good news in the end

Hello,

I've heard that hex 34 can be about self-aggression - you're beating yourself up or blaming yourself for feeling like this but that's only making it worse perhaps? You want to express yourself, be happy, enthusiastic, feel powerful; but your cirumstances at the moment aren't allowing that (be that because of traumatic events, your present environment, bad hormones, lack of serotonin etc.).. so what I think the Yi is saying is stop hurting yourself about it all - let go of that feeling that you shouldn't be like this. Utilize this time, even if it seems like you can't, by doing nice, relaxing things, if you can... try and lose consciousness maybe, of the fact that you are not feeling and living as you would like.

And as alev says: I too have been through stretches of time where I felt this way and didn't know why and felt like it was just going to continue on that way but everything always changes, life is fluid, nothing stays the same.

Just try and remember these times don't last forever - and try and lose the anger you're directing at yourself (your masochistic goat?)

Hope you come out of this soon

:bows:

Thank you all so much for your kind words of encouragement and understanding, as well as your time and effort in helping me better understand this response
I can actually find little bits of insight from all of the thoughts and experiences with this line that you offered. I have actually endured quite a few "traumas" over the past few years, so perhaps you're correct that it's merely a state of mind I've created myself in order to feel more comfortable and less fearful? That certainly makes sense!
In addition, it's so comforting to realize this same feeling has happened to others and probably isn't nearly as bad as it seems..but at the least I know it should pass...as all things do
Namaste and many thanks to you all!

Hi KD

Something I want to say here although this has been hashed over some already.
It is important to understand that you DO have the energy, you have just chosen not to use it. As Lao Tzu said, “the more we use it, the more we have.” But in your depressed state of mind, you think you do not have it.

Look at the commentary for line 5. “He might reproach himself for lack of energy…” Um, what was it you were saying about energy? Oops, that is actually thirty five line five, but it fits, so I will leave it here. See below for thirty four line five.

(I am retyping this in Microsoft word because I tried a direct comment, and so many times when I do, I hit a certain key and my text disappears, and I can’t figure out which key it is or which one gets it back, so this might be just a slightly shortened version.)

Often we get discouraged because we hope so much for the things we want, and when they don’t materialize, we get depressed. But the problem is in the wanting. When we want, the subconscious is hearing, I don’t have it. We have to learn the principle of non resistance and nonattachment. Only when we become non attached to the desire do we get it. Why? Because when we pine for something we are creating brainwaves that do not correspond to the object we desire. So the answer is, as always, let it go. The ram is a symbol of our “full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes “type of attitude. Sometimes that is good, but we have to use that attitude only when it is proper. The ram and the goat are also symbols for our stubborn attitudes. When we realize that we are the ones creating the problem, with our own attitudes, then we can “lose the goat with ease.” Our stubborn attitude is in not letting go of the things we think we want or need. How much better to be at ease, and just allow our needs to be brought to us. Depression leads to further disappoint. "Do not act in this way."

Gene

Thank you Gene
Very wise words and right on the nose as well. I've worked on the detachment thing for years now and my stubborn goat or whatever must just be very, VERY stubborn..... Seems truly impossible at times to deny to yourself what you want the most....to deny that you even want it, etc, etc....although I believe whole heartedly in what you're saying, so I'm sure this will be one of those tasks I work on forever and always trying to reach that place of contentment/letting go of all desires/wants...and thus removing all disappointments and pessimistic thoughts

Thank you again Your words certainly resonate with a deeper truth here and a battle I've been working on as well!!
Namaste'
:bows:

That said, I've asked the IC for insight into how I could better my life or revive my spirit.
Response: 34.5 changing to 43.

Click to expand...

Hi KD
There are already some excellent responses for you to consider here. One thing that resonated with me with the reading was your use of "battle" in your last post.
Maybe this is at the core of how you can revive your spirit - by not seeing what you are experiencing as a battle to be won or lost. Accept what is, for what it is and let go of any thought of battle, and whether you are winning or losing it.

By "dispensing your riches downwards" in this way you will perhaps "avoid treading on paths that do not accord with the established order" of peace and harmony.

Be Well

Mike

Hi KD

You don't need to deny wanting it, just see yourself as already having it, and rejoice in that fact that life brings us what we truly desire. We want things that will make us happy, better if we make ourselves happy, and see ourselves bringing into our life the things we truly do want.

Gene